Getting over my affair partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, she didn’t threaten physical harm. She threatened to contact my husband if I reached out to her husband again. I’m tempted to reach out to him. That’s my worst issue. That and wondering why he hasn’t reached out to me.

He hasn't reached out to you because he's currently love bombing his wife, having intense hysterical bonding s*X, and trying to salvage what he broke. He doesn't care about you. Men will say whatever to get in your pants. He CHOSE to TELL HIS WIFE.

It’s so hurtful to know this, but I need to hear it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost no reasonable therapist would tell you to tell your DH unless you 100% will be outed. Don’t blow it up. You have a chance to recover. If you want to stay married, do whatever you can to keep it secret and so intense work with a therapist. That’s most likely the best outcome for everyone.

As someone who did this, and later divorced for the same reasons I had the affair, this is a very complicated path to take.

[Anonymous]

The crazy thing is, him & I have seen each other once in the past month for 30 mins. It’s more the texting all day that I am missing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The crazy thing is, him & I have seen each other once in the past month for 30 mins. It’s more the texting all day that I am missing.

Read this again. And again. You are screwing up your children's lives, likely going to give them unhealthy complexes in their own relationships (or lack of- they may thing marriage and loyalty are a farce after this) for texting someone.

[Anonymous]

This post seems loosely based on the Love and Death series on HBO Max.

[Anonymous]

Thank you all for your responses so far. I need this. I really do. I’m getting myself out of bed, getting dressed & going outside with my daughter.

[Anonymous]

OP, once the cat is out of the bag, you can’t put it back. Unless you want a divorce, you must shoulder this alone. Chill out until you can think clearly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost no reasonable therapist would tell you to tell your DH unless you 100% will be outed. Don’t blow it up. You have a chance to recover. If you want to stay married, do whatever you can to keep it secret and so intense work with a therapist. That’s most likely the best outcome for everyone.

I highly doubt I will be outed, but I feel the immense weight of what I’ve done. I can’t eat or get out of bed. I haven’t eaten since Saturday night. I feel sad without my affair partner, as crazy as that sounds. I keep checking my phone to see if he’s texted me.

Since Saturday night? Happened abruptly yesterday morning? Yet he just told her last night?

You really need to work on your timeline, OP. Continuity is important when making up shyte.

[Anonymous]

PP 12:35 here...when the betrayed wife realizes you live in the neighborhood they just moved to, she will 100% think her husband and you arranged this (regardless of whether that is true or not).

And in my case, after AP dumped me, we got in touch a few months later and got back together. That was even WORSE of a choice than starting it in the first place. It just created even a bigger disaster of my life. Make a clean break and move forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not trolling. Am I being ridiculous? Do I need to move on?

I was waffling back and forth on waffling or not this was trolling until I read this. Hilarious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP 12:35 here...when the betrayed wife realizes you live in the neighborhood they just moved to, she will 100% think her husband and you arranged this (regardless of whether that is true or not).

And in my case, after AP dumped me, we got in touch a few months later and got back together. That was even WORSE of a choice than starting it in the first place. It just created even a bigger disaster of my life. Make a clean break and move forward.

This is so true. If she doesn't reach out to your husband now, she will then to ensure you stay on your side of the hood

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not trolling. Am I being ridiculous? Do I need to move on?

Of course you need to move on. Your pain is understandable under the (very messy) circumstances but you need to f-ing get ahold of yourself. You are raw ID right now, to the extent that you seem prepared to take down your family and rational thought id not prevailing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not trolling. Am I being ridiculous? Do I need to move on?

Of course you need to move on. Your pain is understandable under the (very messy) circumstances but you need to f-ing get ahold of yourself. You are raw ID right now, to the extent that you seem prepared to take down your family and rational thought id not prevailing.

*is not prevailing ^

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost no reasonable therapist would tell you to tell your DH unless you 100% will be outed. Don’t blow it up. You have a chance to recover. If you want to stay married, do whatever you can to keep it secret and so intense work with a therapist. That’s most likely the best outcome for everyone.

I highly doubt I will be outed, but I feel the immense weight of what I’ve done. I can’t eat or get out of bed. I haven’t eaten since Saturday night. I feel sad without my affair partner, as crazy as that sounds. I keep checking my phone to see if he’s texted me.

Since Saturday night? Happened abruptly yesterday morning? Yet he just told her last night?

You really need to work on your timeline, OP. Continuity is important when making up shyte.

I’m not making this up. I last ate dinner on Saturday night. He told her sometime between then & Sunday morning. She sent me a message on Sunday morning. I have no appetite. The entire thing makes me feel sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not trolling. Am I being ridiculous? Do I need to move on?

Of course you need to move on. Your pain is understandable under the (very messy) circumstances but you need to f-ing get ahold of yourself. You are raw ID right now, to the extent that you seem prepared to take down your family and rational thought id not prevailing.

I’m really trying. I just feel alone & miss him, but I know I did this to myself.