AITA for not wanting DH to give MIL 4K to clear a debt

[Anonymous]

Of course you give the money, as a gift. She is family. Keep in mind that not everyone have the same financial smarts and that is ok. She sounds like she has a game plan and it could work. Give the old lady some credit. Your husband is a good man.

[Anonymous]

Yes op you are a huge AH. Do you want her to work u til she dies? She’s 69!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes op you are a huge AH. Do you want her to work u til she dies? She’s 69!

Op here. She only worked for about 20 years, is super healthy, looks to be in her 50s, and could easily get a (desk) job in her field making 100K. She just doesn’t want to work anymore but didn’t save enough to live on. I’ve been working longer than she has in my mid forties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes op you are a huge AH. Do you want her to work u til she dies? She’s 69!

Op here. She only worked for about 20 years, is super healthy, looks to be in her 50s, and could easily get a (desk) job in her field making 100K. She just doesn’t want to work anymore but didn’t save enough to live on. I’ve been working longer than she has in my mid forties.

Most places aren’t eager to hire 69 year olds

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes op you are a huge AH. Do you want her to work u til she dies? She’s 69!

And? If you don’t have money, yes, you have to work. If you need a little extra income, there are plenty of jobs that seniors can do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes op you are a huge AH. Do you want her to work u til she dies? She’s 69!

Op here. She only worked for about 20 years, is super healthy, looks to be in her 50s, and could easily get a (desk) job in her field making 100K. She just doesn’t want to work anymore but didn’t save enough to live on. I’ve been working longer than she has in my mid forties.

Most places aren’t eager to hire 69 year olds

Greeter at Wal-Mart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes op you are a huge AH. Do you want her to work u til she dies? She’s 69!

Op here. She only worked for about 20 years, is super healthy, looks to be in her 50s, and could easily get a (desk) job in her field making 100K. She just doesn’t want to work anymore but didn’t save enough to live on. I’ve been working longer than she has in my mid forties.

Most places aren’t eager to hire 69 year olds

Greeter at Wal-Mart.

That’s mean. There ARE jobs where she could bring home 10-20k a year to supplement her income.

One example is babysitting. She can easily earn at least $20 an hour cash.

I just have a hard time suggesting to give money to someone who won’t work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes op you are a huge AH. Do you want her to work u til she dies? She’s 69!

Op here. She only worked for about 20 years, is super healthy, looks to be in her 50s, and could easily get a (desk) job in her field making 100K. She just doesn’t want to work anymore but didn’t save enough to live on. I’ve been working longer than she has in my mid forties.

You're telling me that a 69 year old woman could "easily" get a job making $100k = but never earned enough to save more than $150k for retirement?

You're not really making sense, OP - and you are being really stingy and petty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes op you are a huge AH. Do you want her to work u til she dies? She’s 69!

Op here. She only worked for about 20 years, is super healthy, looks to be in her 50s, and could easily get a (desk) job in her field making 100K. She just doesn’t want to work anymore but didn’t save enough to live on. I’ve been working longer than she has in my mid forties.

Most places aren’t eager to hire 69 year olds

Greeter at Wal-Mart.

they eliminated that position a few years ago

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes op you are a huge AH. Do you want her to work u til she dies? She’s 69!

Op here. She only worked for about 20 years, is super healthy, looks to be in her 50s, and could easily get a (desk) job in her field making 100K. She just doesn’t want to work anymore but didn’t save enough to live on. I’ve been working longer than she has in my mid forties.

Most places aren’t eager to hire 69 year olds

Greeter at Wal-Mart.

That’s mean. There ARE jobs where she could bring home 10-20k a year to supplement her income.

One example is babysitting. She can easily earn at least $20 an hour cash.

I just have a hard time suggesting to give money to someone who won’t work

I understand where you’re coming from but also have experience with my own aging family members. I find they often obscure their health/endurance challenges out of pride

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course you give the money, as a gift. She is family. Keep in mind that not everyone have the same financial smarts and that is ok. She sounds like she has a game plan and it could work. Give the old lady some credit. Your husband is a good man.

+2

Also, economic opportunities for women just weren’t as plentiful as they are now. It’s $4k - a drop in the bucket over the long term. OP I’m team DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes op you are a huge AH. Do you want her to work u til she dies? She’s 69!

Op here. She only worked for about 20 years, is super healthy, looks to be in her 50s, and could easily get a (desk) job in her field making 100K. She just doesn’t want to work anymore but didn’t save enough to live on. I’ve been working longer than she has in my mid forties.

You're telling me that a 69 year old woman could "easily" get a job making $100k = but never earned enough to save more than $150k for retirement?

You're not really making sense, OP - and you are being really stingy and petty.

She finally ascended to the C suite in the nonprofit sector in her area when she was fired. She knows the industry and her area well and is well networked. She has not tried at all to get a job since. She flat out has told us she is tired of workplace drama, managing people and kissing the CEO’s butt, etc. She also won’t get a side hustle
That could also supplement her income, so instead chooses to putter around her house all day. She doesn’t have enough money left to travel, go on vacation, or really do anything but sit in the house and pay basic expenses. And that irritates me as a working adult who started working at age 15 and will be working for probably 30 more years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes op you are a huge AH. Do you want her to work u til she dies? She’s 69!

Op here. She only worked for about 20 years, is super healthy, looks to be in her 50s, and could easily get a (desk) job in her field making 100K. She just doesn’t want to work anymore but didn’t save enough to live on. I’ve been working longer than she has in my mid forties.

Most places aren’t eager to hire 69 year olds

Greeter at Wal-Mart.

That’s mean. There ARE jobs where she could bring home 10-20k a year to supplement her income.

One example is babysitting. She can easily earn at least $20 an hour cash.

I just have a hard time suggesting to give money to someone who won’t work

A 69yo woman? And mother of your spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that loaning money to one's own mom is a bad idea. I'd have no problem giving 4 grand as a gift.

Op here. It’s the amount for me that I take issue with. That amount is about 10 percent of our savings account right now.

10% is the amount of a tithe. I think you can give your husband's mother 10%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes op you are a huge AH. Do you want her to work u til she dies? She’s 69!

Op here. She only worked for about 20 years, is super healthy, looks to be in her 50s, and could easily get a (desk) job in her field making 100K. She just doesn’t want to work anymore but didn’t save enough to live on. I’ve been working longer than she has in my mid forties.

I look healthy but you you have no idea how much I struggle with health. She only worked 20 years to take care of your husband.