When is too young to get engaged?

[Anonymous]

At least they’re in the same place professionally & geographically.

When I was their age, I followed my now-DH on a cross-country move for him to go to law school. I didn’t even have a job at the time. Now, the school is in a very good job market. If he was going to some random area I might’ve chose otherwise. The choice I made wasn’t uncommon at the time. There were few ways to sustain a long distance relationship besides landline phone calls. But I can’t see most parents approving of their kids doing that today.

We’ve been happily married for 17 years.

[Anonymous]

Do suggest premarital counseling so they are well equipped to handle marital life and medical career.

It can be liberating mot to worry about dating and hookups or loneliness during long years of medical education and training.

[Anonymous]

I told my kids 25 is the absolute youngest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Medical school will be stressful whether or not they're engaged/married, but at least it sounds like they're not planning kids right away, right? So either they'll be together at the end of med school, stronger than ever, or they'll be broken up/divorced. I don't think the engagement will make things worse.

OP here. They're not planning to have kids until after residency (she'll be 29 by then). We'll move closer to them to provide childcare support if they decide to have kids during residency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told my kids 25 is the absolute youngest.

They can legally marry at 18, and even younger in some states, without your permission. Nobody cares what you think.

[Anonymous]

As long as they can delay having children for few years, its fine to marry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As long as they can delay having children for few years, its fine to marry.

You can’t stop them from having kids or marrying whenever they feel like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD (F22) recently got engaged to her boyfriend (M22) of two years. She had a very limited dating history before this (he was her first everything), but met in college and got engaged this spring (one year after graduating college) after living together for a little under a year. I'm apprehensive because they seem so young, but they're a sensible couple who have similar life goals (finishing med school and starting a family together) and who clearly support and love each other dearly. But, I'm concerned she still has so much room to grow and change and that the stress of medical school (They're both M1s) will break apart their relationship. I know I can't interfere, but two years doesn't seem like enough time to know if someone's the "one". The family does think he's a perfect match for her (smart, good family, kind, listening, and extraordinarily patient), so no concerns on either side there.

What's the legal age in their state? Below that is too young, rest is personal preference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD (F22) recently got engaged to her boyfriend (M22) of two years. She had a very limited dating history before this (he was her first everything), but met in college and got engaged this spring (one year after graduating college) after living together for a little under a year. I'm apprehensive because they seem so young, but they're a sensible couple who have similar life goals (finishing med school and starting a family together) and who clearly support and love each other dearly. But, I'm concerned she still has so much room to grow and change and that the stress of medical school (They're both M1s) will break apart their relationship. I know I can't interfere, but two years doesn't seem like enough time to know if someone's the "one". The family does think he's a perfect match for her (smart, good family, kind, listening, and extraordinarily patient), so no concerns on either side there.

It’s 18 or younger.

What's the legal age in their state? Below that is too young, rest is personal preference.

[Anonymous]

I moved in with my now spouse at 22 (30+ years ago)-- I think getting engaged is fine. I probably wouldn't mind if they held off getting married for a couple years though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I moved in with my now spouse at 22 (30+ years ago)-- I think getting engaged is fine. I probably wouldn't mind if they held off getting married for a couple years though

According to my physician friends (I'm one too but FMG), best time is year before medical school or over the summer break between MS1 and MS2.

Overall everyone recommends not postponing life because medical education and training is a very long journey.

[Anonymous]

If they wait to finish medical school, residency and fellowship, tgey'll have to wait 10 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as they can delay having children for few years, its fine to marry.

You can’t stop them from having kids or marrying whenever they feel like it.

True. Either a person is a legal adult or they aren't.

[Anonymous]

If they've been together for two years but still managed to graduate from college and get accepted into medical school, they are probably good influence for each other.

[Anonymous]

They're too young. But there's nothing that you can do about it.