How common is it to see large families that are completely estranged/very distant from each other

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White people? Very common. No one wants to inconvenience themselves. And when you are socializing there is a lot of inconvenienceing yourself.

Imagine how hard it is when you are hosting a dinner. All the work that goes in it.

I think you should create a WhatsApp group or something and then try and get a reunion going. Maybe you will get some interest. Even if 2 families want to get together, you should do it.

Anyone who moves more than a hour from their childhood home for work or school or a spouse has to is to manage.

We don’t all live 5-20 minutes from Ma, Grandma and Great Gma. Or in the same multigenerational home for decades. Maybe in Texas? Keep passing the house down and never leave the state or city?

Well, you made that deliberate choice to move away. It has pros of course, but there are cons too that you must accept.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Common. Usually a 1 or 2 bad apples estrange themselves.

Ha! The entitled giant assh*le who drove away the siblings has found the thread. LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White people? Very common. No one wants to inconvenience themselves. And when you are socializing there is a lot of inconvenienceing yourself.

Imagine how hard it is when you are hosting a dinner. All the work that goes in it.

I think you should create a WhatsApp group or something and then try and get a reunion going. Maybe you will get some interest. Even if 2 families want to get together, you should do it.

Yeah because Black families are highly intact.

Oh shiiiiiiiiit!

[Anonymous]

I think it's pretty common (not necessarily outright estrangement but general distance and disinterest) and imo is an important component of falling birthrates. I have two kids and for sure would have had there if we lived near grandparents and aunts/uncles. I don't want to repeat this with my kids if at all avoidable.

When parents complain about intensive raising kids today is, one of the reasons for this is that our nuclear families are sort claustrophobic in a way that extended family helps diffuse the parent - child relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White people? Very common. No one wants to inconvenience themselves. And when you are socializing there is a lot of inconvenienceing yourself.

Imagine how hard it is when you are hosting a dinner. All the work that goes in it.

I think you should create a WhatsApp group or something and then try and get a reunion going. Maybe you will get some interest. Even if 2 families want to get together, you should do it.

Anyone who moves more than a hour from their childhood home for work or school or a spouse has to is to manage.

We don’t all live 5-20 minutes from Ma, Grandma and Great Gma. Or in the same multigenerational home for decades. Maybe in Texas? Keep passing the house down and never leave the state or city?

Well, you made that deliberate choice to move away. It has pros of course, but there are cons too that you must accept.

Absolutely. A fantastic college, grad school, job and career move are very valid reasons to not live with your parents or move to a new city or state. Enjoy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:White people? Very common. No one wants to inconvenience themselves. And when you are socializing there is a lot of inconvenienceing yourself.

Imagine how hard it is when you are hosting a dinner. All the work that goes in it.

I think you should create a WhatsApp group or something and then try and get a reunion going. Maybe you will get some interest. Even if 2 families want to get together, you should do it.

I'm white, and am close with my second cousins and even third cousins. I have a large extended family that still lives in the small town my father grew up in in the south, and technology has made it easy to stay in touch on a regular basis. I see some more often than others but we all communicate regularly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White people? Very common. No one wants to inconvenience themselves. And when you are socializing there is a lot of inconvenienceing yourself.

Imagine how hard it is when you are hosting a dinner. All the work that goes in it.

I think you should create a WhatsApp group or something and then try and get a reunion going. Maybe you will get some interest. Even if 2 families want to get together, you should do it.

Anyone who moves more than a hour from their childhood home for work or school or a spouse has to is to manage.

We don’t all live 5-20 minutes from Ma, Grandma and Great Gma. Or in the same multigenerational home for decades. Maybe in Texas? Keep passing the house down and never leave the state or city?

Well, you made that deliberate choice to move away. It has pros of course, but there are cons too that you must accept.

The real deliberate choice here is to not stay in touch and not have any family traditions.

If you had family traditions, they people would fly in for a major holiday or beach trip or birthdays or 1-4x a year.

And flights go both directions, so the parents and grandparents can as well.

This is about communication, values, traditions and sense of community. You return home to see them occasionally or you meet up wherever they may be occasionally.

Just like friendships or relationships take work, so does maintaining extending family relations and traditions.

And don’t dump it all on Mom or wifey to do!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White people? Very common. No one wants to inconvenience themselves. And when you are socializing there is a lot of inconvenienceing yourself.

Imagine how hard it is when you are hosting a dinner. All the work that goes in it.

I think you should create a WhatsApp group or something and then try and get a reunion going. Maybe you will get some interest. Even if 2 families want to get together, you should do it.

Anyone who moves more than a hour from their childhood home for work or school or a spouse has to is to manage.

We don’t all live 5-20 minutes from Ma, Grandma and Great Gma. Or in the same multigenerational home for decades. Maybe in Texas? Keep passing the house down and never leave the state or city?

Well, you made that deliberate choice to move away. It has pros of course, but there are cons too that you must accept.

Enjoy having no family ties!
Absolutely. A fantastic college, grad school, job and career move are very valid reasons to not live with your parents or move to a new city or state. Enjoy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White people? Very common. No one wants to inconvenience themselves. And when you are socializing there is a lot of inconvenienceing yourself.

Imagine how hard it is when you are hosting a dinner. All the work that goes in it.

I think you should create a WhatsApp group or something and then try and get a reunion going. Maybe you will get some interest. Even if 2 families want to get together, you should do it.

I'm white, and am close with my second cousins and even third cousins. I have a large extended family that still lives in the small town my father grew up in in the south, and technology has made it easy to stay in touch on a regular basis. I see some more often than others but we all communicate regularly.

Same. We have 300 personal family reunions each August. Now the 40 yos run it, the 70 yos handed over the torch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White people? Very common. No one wants to inconvenience themselves. And when you are socializing there is a lot of inconvenienceing yourself.

Imagine how hard it is when you are hosting a dinner. All the work that goes in it.

I think you should create a WhatsApp group or something and then try and get a reunion going. Maybe you will get some interest. Even if 2 families want to get together, you should do it.

Anyone who moves more than a hour from their childhood home for work or school or a spouse has to is to manage.

We don’t all live 5-20 minutes from Ma, Grandma and Great Gma. Or in the same multigenerational home for decades. Maybe in Texas? Keep passing the house down and never leave the state or city?

I’m a native and I have met so many others that also grew up in DC or Arlington/Alexandria, MoCO. A lot of us left for a bit but came back to DC area for work. My kids have several generations of Dc families at their school. So many alumni have kids attending, and grandparents are often at events.

I get for those that grew up in small towns or areas of the country with no jobs—but Dc area has lots of tech, biotech, govt, etc. Huge job market.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White people? Very common. No one wants to inconvenience themselves. And when you are socializing there is a lot of inconvenienceing yourself.

Imagine how hard it is when you are hosting a dinner. All the work that goes in it.

I think you should create a WhatsApp group or something and then try and get a reunion going. Maybe you will get some interest. Even if 2 families want to get together, you should do it.

Anyone who moves more than a hour from their childhood home for work or school or a spouse has to is to manage.

We don’t all live 5-20 minutes from Ma, Grandma and Great Gma. Or in the same multigenerational home for decades. Maybe in Texas? Keep passing the house down and never leave the state or city?

Well, you made that deliberate choice to move away. It has pros of course, but there are cons too that you must accept.

The real deliberate choice here is to not stay in touch and not have any family traditions.

If you had family traditions, they people would fly in for a major holiday or beach trip or birthdays or 1-4x a year.

And flights go both directions, so the parents and grandparents can as well.

This is about communication, values, traditions and sense of community. You return home to see them occasionally or you meet up wherever they may be occasionally.

Just like friendships or relationships take work, so does maintaining extending family relations and traditions.

And don’t dump it all on Mom or wifey to do!

+100 my parents and grandparents had so many traditions and fun. Everyone went to weddings, milestone bday parties, family reunions, etc. I am very close to my first cousins even though they all grew up in New England and my mom and dad settled in DC.

The passing of the torch will start happening soon as the aunts/uncles are all in their 70s. Some of my fondest memories are summer vacation on the rocky New England coast with my cousins and the aunts/uncles and grandparents having happy hours.

[Anonymous]

My family of 9 is estranged from each other. I am hoping that once my 96 year old mother dies good things will happen. She orchestrates this dysfunction by extreme lying, manipulation. There is definitely systemic mental illness. Only the good die young and she will live forever. It’s very very sad.

Back in the day Catholics could not get birth control. Women who were not mentally stable had many children and this resulted in a generation (baby boomers) of much abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White people? Very common. No one wants to inconvenience themselves. And when you are socializing there is a lot of inconvenienceing yourself.

Imagine how hard it is when you are hosting a dinner. All the work that goes in it.

I think you should create a WhatsApp group or something and then try and get a reunion going. Maybe you will get some interest. Even if 2 families want to get together, you should do it.

Anyone who moves more than a hour from their childhood home for work or school or a spouse has to is to manage.

We don’t all live 5-20 minutes from Ma, Grandma and Great Gma. Or in the same multigenerational home for decades. Maybe in Texas? Keep passing the house down and never leave the state or city?

I’m a native and I have met so many others that also grew up in DC or Arlington/Alexandria, MoCO. A lot of us left for a bit but came back to DC area for work. My kids have several generations of Dc families at their school. So many alumni have kids attending, and grandparents are often at events.

I get for those that grew up in small towns or areas of the country with no jobs—but Dc area has lots of tech, biotech, govt, etc. Huge job market.

Bfd.

People from any state or city could say the same. They returned to their hometown on purpose: they picked a regional grad school there on purpose. They moved to where one or both sets of grandparents are.

Some people move. Some people never move. Others are in the middle. Tomato tomahto.

[Anonymous]

Untreated or undiagnosed mental illness estranges a family or a member.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White people? Very common. No one wants to inconvenience themselves. And when you are socializing there is a lot of inconvenienceing yourself.

Imagine how hard it is when you are hosting a dinner. All the work that goes in it.

I think you should create a WhatsApp group or something and then try and get a reunion going. Maybe you will get some interest. Even if 2 families want to get together, you should do it.

Anyone who moves more than a hour from their childhood home for work or school or a spouse has to is to manage.

We don’t all live 5-20 minutes from Ma, Grandma and Great Gma. Or in the same multigenerational home for decades. Maybe in Texas? Keep passing the house down and never leave the state or city?

I’m a native and I have met so many others that also grew up in DC or Arlington/Alexandria, MoCO. A lot of us left for a bit but came back to DC area for work. My kids have several generations of Dc families at their school. So many alumni have kids attending, and grandparents are often at events.

I get for those that grew up in small towns or areas of the country with no jobs—but Dc area has lots of tech, biotech, govt, etc. Huge job market.

Bfd.

People from any state or city could say the same. They returned to their hometown on purpose: they picked a regional grad school there on purpose. They moved to where one or both sets of grandparents are.

Some people move. Some people never move. Others are in the middle. Tomato tomahto.

Read the thread. It was in response to only people in Texas stay near family (this was pointing out that’s ridiculous):

“We don’t all live 5-20 minutes from Ma, Grandma and Great Gma. Or in the same multigenerational home for decades. Maybe in Texas? Keep passing the house down and never leave the state or city?”