I think I offended my boss

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:agree with PPs, in summary, try to make your boss' job easier - constantly asking for guidance is not that.
figure out on your own and only come to her when you've tried other avenues first

After my boss was not responding to me, I did go around to ask others who may have answers to my questions. But now it sounds like she’s annoyed I did that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My theory: boss is in hot water and trying to blame it on you. No bueno.

Same here. That’s the vibe I’m getting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:agree with PPs, in summary, try to make your boss' job easier - constantly asking for guidance is not that.
figure out on your own and only come to her when you've tried other avenues first

After my boss was not responding to me, I did go around to ask others who may have answers to my questions. But now it sounds like she’s annoyed I did that?

I bet anything one of those people you asked complained to your boss and now she’s mad at you.

this has all the signs of toxicity. get out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask your boss to sit down with you, detail the issues, and brainstorm on ways you can fix them. If they are a decent boss, and there is a real problem, they will be glad to do this.

If they decline to do this, then I would suggest they are not a great boss and/or they are dealing with something that has nothing to do with you and just taking it out on you.

Also, if you have any co-workers that you trust, you could ask them if they have any feedback for you or have heard any grumblings from others about your performance.

Op here. I have already said that once I picked up that my boss was unavailable, I went around on my own to solve problems and did a good job. I knew who to go to and what to say to resolve issues that arose.

I also don’t think my questions are unnecessary as they are important to moving forward in the project. I asked my boss first, she said she didn’t know and cannot handle it right now and then I went to the person she told me to go to, and I was told i apparently offended him by reaching out.

So…I’m in trouble if I don’t and I’m in trouble if I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:agree with PPs, in summary, try to make your boss' job easier - constantly asking for guidance is not that.
figure out on your own and only come to her when you've tried other avenues first

After my boss was not responding to me, I did go around to ask others who may have answers to my questions. But now it sounds like she’s annoyed I did that?

I bet anything one of those people you asked complained to your boss and now she’s mad at you.

this has all the signs of toxicity. get out!

Op here. I think this too. I feel confused as how am I supposed to move a project forward without key information? And I’m in trouble when I try to gain that information?

[Anonymous]

OP, you are too good for them. They need someone less proactive.

[Anonymous]

You are stepping too hard on the gas pedal. Do not write books, give the project some space so people can get back to you on their own time. Do not send follow ups so often.

I could be wrong, but you sound like a fly buzzing around peoples ears. The project isn't as urgent as you seem to think, so it's at the bottom of other people's lists, even though it's at the top of yours. Some organizations and projects have a slower pacing.

[Anonymous]

She just doesn't like your vibe. You are ordering her around but she is your boss and she doesn't think she needs to be racing to answer you. You are fed up with her not snapping to attention and retaliate by seeking someone else to do her job on your time line. Just chill

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:agree with PPs, in summary, try to make your boss' job easier - constantly asking for guidance is not that.
figure out on your own and only come to her when you've tried other avenues first

After my boss was not responding to me, I did go around to ask others who may have answers to my questions. But now it sounds like she’s annoyed I did that?

Could you have tried to figure out things yourself first, asked the right folks, problem solved - before going to your boss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:agree with PPs, in summary, try to make your boss' job easier - constantly asking for guidance is not that.
figure out on your own and only come to her when you've tried other avenues first

After my boss was not responding to me, I did go around to ask others who may have answers to my questions. But now it sounds like she’s annoyed I did that?

I bet anything one of those people you asked complained to your boss and now she’s mad at you.

this has all the signs of toxicity. get out!

Op here. I think this too. I feel confused as how am I supposed to move a project forward without key information? And I’m in trouble when I try to gain that information?

Is this project mission critical, or is it the only thing on your plate and you're bored?

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP. No matter what you did, your boss’s behavior towards you is unacceptable. Cancelling meetings for no good reasons, ignoring chats. If she has a legit problem with you, she needs to give you that feedback directly and dispassionately. WTF does that mean “boss from Office Space”

[Anonymous]

^ I know you’re new, but is there anybody who has been friendly to you, whom you can meet for coffee and ask for help on what is going on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are stepping too hard on the gas pedal. Do not write books, give the project some space so people can get back to you on their own time. Do not send follow ups so often.

I could be wrong, but you sound like a fly buzzing around peoples ears. The project isn't as urgent as you seem to think, so it's at the bottom of other people's lists, even though it's at the top of yours. Some organizations and projects have a slower pacing.

… and then OP will get in trouble for not “moving the project forward.”

it’s true that there are a lot of soft skills to learn when your job involves “leading from below”
and collaborating with people who are not in your chain of command. it can be VERY challenging. but it’s also basically impossible to do if your boss doesn’t support you, or if it’s a toxic workplace where you get blowback if you are proactive in any way.

OP needs to get out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She just doesn't like your vibe. You are ordering her around but she is your boss and she doesn't think she needs to be racing to answer you. You are fed up with her not snapping to attention and retaliate by seeking someone else to do her job on your time line. Just chill

a boss who would undermine a subordinate like that is just … wow.

[Anonymous]

Your boss sounds like she’s got a personality disorder.