Gender Tropes, Reluctant Truths

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if you seek clarity or truth, you need to get off the internet and especially dcum.

Thanks. Never thought of that.

I highly recommend the Modern Wisdom podcast. I'm a woman but am really interested in human nature--not so much at the individual level but at the group level.That's what the podcast mainly focuses on--evolutionary pscyhology and why we behave the way that we do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot more women than we’d care to admit use their sex appeal to manipulate people around them.

No! When did this start, about 10000BC?

It’s called survival.

[Anonymous]

This is a weird post. It seems like you're a thoughtful, introspective, analytical person, yet the thrust of your post is "let's all say the stereotypes about men and women that we hate but are kind of true, "as if this is going to give us all any great insight. What do you expect of a discussion that is going to devolve into things like, men just want a Nurse and a purse, or women just want a rich tall man. Maybe you could use all your intelligent friends to understand those things a little better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women have options, men, unless they look like a model or are sports stars, have to settle for who picks them.

Not if they are rich like me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tzbzh I think if you asked the wives of a lot of your stable responsible friends they would tell you that this isn’t two different groups of men, it’s two different behaviors (work/home, public/private, with men/with women or his wife) from the same men.

This. Men don't like other men to see their laziness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think even the "good" husbands/fathers are still just slightly on the clueless side. My dh is amazing, for example, but I still have to do a lot of the mental load to keep our family moving.

Let go of the rope and see if the family collapses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think even the "good" husbands/fathers are still just slightly on the clueless side. My dh is amazing, for example, but I still have to do a lot of the mental load to keep our family moving.

Let go of the rope and see if the family collapses.

I have, family doesn't collapse, but they are chronically late to things and eat unhealthy foods So yeah I keep the load up because I want them to be healthy and generally on time for everything to show them the importance of being on time to things when others depend on you. My dh is good at other things that I'm not, and I'm not complaining about him, but based on my discussions with friends, releasing the mental load means things get dropped, not that the spouse picks up the slack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Simple question: When it comes to these marriage/relationship/gender discussions and debates, what is one trope that rings more true about your own gender than you would like to readily admit?

I'm often engaged in these discussions trying to provide a male perspective on a lot of the issues that are raised. I'm often called misogynist or MRA for some of the opinions I raise here, and that is to be expected on the internet and with such charged topics. I think one problem with these discussions is that people cannot separate their immediate circle, circumstances and experiences from broader set of actors and forces in the dating/marriage landscape. My circle of friends is largely responsible, respectful, self-sufficient, intelligent men, so it can be hard for me to fathom and really digest a lot of the complaints about men that I hear, because it is not reflective of my immediate surroundings. I have to do extra work to overcome my cognitive biases and ingest those possibilities (realities) and realize that there is an entire other universe of men out there that are not like my friend group or circle. This factors into how women conduct themselves, vet mates, follow certain "rules", etc.

I was reminded of this last month when told story about a friend's husband who unilaterally scheduled an invasive procedure without consulting her that would immobilize him for a while, under the assumption that his younger wife just handle everything, including the finances, her own, time-consuming, full-time job, the kids and pets and her own ailing parent. Like...who does that?

Another problem is that people dig in their heels and just reject anything that goes against their team/gender, which completely belies the complexity and gray areas of some of these topics. So maybe for one thread we can not do that?

So the reluctant truth: A lot more men than I would like to admit do just want a wife to "mother" them and completely handle everything in their lives and they are kind of bummy.

Anyone have any?

A lot of blahblahblahblah there, and you pretend to be a male.

I bet some Manolos you're a woman just trolling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I bet you have a PhD!

No way. Just took anthro that one time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Simple question: When it comes to these marriage/relationship/gender discussions and debates, what is one trope that rings more true about your own gender than you would like to readily admit?

I'm often engaged in these discussions trying to provide a male perspective on a lot of the issues that are raised. I'm often called misogynist or MRA for some of the opinions I raise here, and that is to be expected on the internet and with such charged topics. I think one problem with these discussions is that people cannot separate their immediate circle, circumstances and experiences from broader set of actors and forces in the dating/marriage landscape. My circle of friends is largely responsible, respectful, self-sufficient, intelligent men, so it can be hard for me to fathom and really digest a lot of the complaints about men that I hear, because it is not reflective of my immediate surroundings. I have to do extra work to overcome my cognitive biases and ingest those possibilities (realities) and realize that there is an entire other universe of men out there that are not like my friend group or circle. This factors into how women conduct themselves, vet mates, follow certain "rules", etc.

I was reminded of this last month when told story about a friend's husband who unilaterally scheduled an invasive procedure without consulting her that would immobilize him for a while, under the assumption that his younger wife just handle everything, including the finances, her own, time-consuming, full-time job, the kids and pets and her own ailing parent. Like...who does that?

Another problem is that people dig in their heels and just reject anything that goes against their team/gender, which completely belies the complexity and gray areas of some of these topics. So maybe for one thread we can not do that?

So the reluctant truth: A lot more men than I would like to admit do just want a wife to "mother" them and completely handle everything in their lives and they are kind of bummy.

Anyone have any?

A lot of blahblahblahblah there, and you pretend to be a male.

I bet some Manolos you're a woman just trolling.

LOl, I chuckled.

[Anonymous]

People probably call you a MRA because you cling so tightly to stereotypes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if you seek clarity or truth, you need to get off the internet and especially dcum.

Thanks. Never thought of that.

I highly recommend the Modern Wisdom podcast. I'm a woman but am really interested in human nature--not so much at the individual level but at the group level.That's what the podcast mainly focuses on--evolutionary pscyhology and why we behave the way that we do.

Thanks for the recommendation. Added to my list.

[Anonymous]

Parental alienation by women is a crisis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parental alienation by women is a crisis.

OP here. Whoa, can you say more about this? You mean because they're working outside of the house too much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parental alienation by women is a crisis.

OP here. Whoa, can you say more about this? You mean because they're working outside of the house too much?

No, I mean divorced mothers turning their kids away from their fathers purposely.