Gender Tropes, Reluctant Truths

[Anonymous]

Simple question: When it comes to these marriage/relationship/gender discussions and debates, what is one trope that rings more true about your own gender than you would like to readily admit?

I'm often engaged in these discussions trying to provide a male perspective on a lot of the issues that are raised. I'm often called misogynist or MRA for some of the opinions I raise here, and that is to be expected on the internet and with such charged topics. I think one problem with these discussions is that people cannot separate their immediate circle, circumstances and experiences from broader set of actors and forces in the dating/marriage landscape. My circle of friends is largely responsible, respectful, self-sufficient, intelligent men, so it can be hard for me to fathom and really digest a lot of the complaints about men that I hear, because it is not reflective of my immediate surroundings. I have to do extra work to overcome my cognitive biases and ingest those possibilities (realities) and realize that there is an entire other universe of men out there that are not like my friend group or circle. This factors into how women conduct themselves, vet mates, follow certain "rules", etc.

I was reminded of this last month when told story about a friend's husband who unilaterally scheduled an invasive procedure without consulting her that would immobilize him for a while, under the assumption that his younger wife just handle everything, including the finances, her own, time-consuming, full-time job, the kids and pets and her own ailing parent. Like...who does that?

Another problem is that people dig in their heels and just reject anything that goes against their team/gender, which completely belies the complexity and gray areas of some of these topics. So maybe for one thread we can not do that?

So the reluctant truth: A lot more men than I would like to admit do just want a wife to "mother" them and completely handle everything in their lives and they are kind of bummy.

Anyone have any?

[Anonymous]

A lot more women than we’d care to admit use their sex appeal to manipulate people around them.

[Anonymous]

People, regardless of gender, are immature and selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People, regardless of gender, are immature and selfish.

And also people, regardless of gender, are mature and generous.

[Anonymous]

OP if you seek clarity or truth, you need to get off the internet and especially dcum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP if you seek clarity or truth, you need to get off the internet and especially dcum.

Thanks. Never thought of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Simple question: When it comes to these marriage/relationship/gender discussions and debates, what is one trope that rings more true about your own gender than you would like to readily admit?

I'm often engaged in these discussions trying to provide a male perspective on a lot of the issues that are raised. I'm often called misogynist or MRA for some of the opinions I raise here, and that is to be expected on the internet and with such charged topics. I think one problem with these discussions is that people cannot separate their immediate circle, circumstances and experiences from broader set of actors and forces in the dating/marriage landscape. My circle of friends is largely responsible, respectful, self-sufficient, intelligent men, so it can be hard for me to fathom and really digest a lot of the complaints about men that I hear, because it is not reflective of my immediate surroundings. I have to do extra work to overcome my cognitive biases and ingest those possibilities (realities) and realize that there is an entire other universe of men out there that are not like my friend group or circle. This factors into how women conduct themselves, vet mates, follow certain "rules", etc.

I was reminded of this last month when told story about a friend's husband who unilaterally scheduled an invasive procedure without consulting her that would immobilize him for a while, under the assumption that his younger wife just handle everything, including the finances, her own, time-consuming, full-time job, the kids and pets and her own ailing parent. Like...who does that?

Another problem is that people dig in their heels and just reject anything that goes against their team/gender, which completely belies the complexity and gray areas of some of these topics. So maybe for one thread we can not do that?

So the reluctant truth: A lot more men than I would like to admit do just want a wife to "mother" them and completely handle everything in their lives and they are kind of bummy.

Anyone have any?

How do you think men got that way?

Their mommies babied them far beyond infancy. Many mommies will never give up on this insanity, even when it threatens the stability of their boy’s marriage.

Wives keep complaining, yet I see them repeating the same thing with their own sons. Funny how that works.

[Anonymous]

OP, I bet you have a PhD!

[Anonymous]

Tzbzh I think if you asked the wives of a lot of your stable responsible friends they would tell you that this isn’t two different groups of men, it’s two different behaviors (work/home, public/private, with men/with women or his wife) from the same men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot more women than we’d care to admit use their sex appeal to manipulate people around them.

That's because men are idiots and women are evil.

[Anonymous]

Women have options, men, unless they look like a model or are sports stars, have to settle for who picks them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tzbzh I think if you asked the wives of a lot of your stable responsible friends they would tell you that this isn’t two different groups of men, it’s two different behaviors (work/home, public/private, with men/with women or his wife) from the same men.

Bingo.

[Anonymous]

I think even the "good" husbands/fathers are still just slightly on the clueless side. My dh is amazing, for example, but I still have to do a lot of the mental load to keep our family moving.

[Anonymous]

What’s the question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot more women than we’d care to admit use their sex appeal to manipulate people around them.

No! When did this start, about 10000BC?