We do this too. We don't have to, but it feels nice to thank and be thanked. And our kids picked up on it, too. |
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I cook a meal almost every single night. My husband not only has never thanked me, but doesn't even comment on it or help clean up. Unless there are people over and he wants to put on a show of being a helpful guy.
But more importantly I wanted to say that my son (21) always tells me thank you and lets me know how good it tastes. Last night, it was just catching my eye and giving me the thumbs up while he was chewing. It means a lot to me, and it's nice to hear and see, at least once in a while. My other kids also express their gratitude in varying ways, and it makes life much more pleasant to at least be noticed by someone. |
| We always thank the cook. You do not have to love it, but you should appreciate the effort |
| I never get thanked. On the rare occasions that DH cooks, he gets effusively thanked. I point this out to the kids and they acknowledge the problem but still seem to do it. |
| Not only do I thank but I never complain if it’s not my favorite. |
Same. We're kind to each other. Your love language might be words of affirmation. Mine is definitely acts of service and dh knows it. I REALLY appreciate him doing chores and I notice every single one. We talk a lot to the kids at dinner, so we normally ask how they like dinner. It segues into talking about their day. |
Because gratitude and acknowledgment are good building blocks of love, respect and connection? Are you OK? |
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No. I also don’t say thanks for doing the dishes. That’s insane.
Do you thank them for every single chore? Thanks for getting the baby dressed, thanks for hanging the diaper, thanks for taking the trash out, etc |
Diluted gratitude are the opposite of love and respect. |
Well regardless, I think I'm going to try some of this thanking out. |
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BIL and SIL went for marriage counseling. The counselor encouraged a level of gratitude that was ridiculous.
BIL made breakfast. SIL: Thank you, honey for making breakfast! That was so delicious!! Totally forced, totally fake. But hey, she said the words. DS's girlfriend's mom insisted on a compliment after the first bite, even if it wasn't very good. I tend to not drip honey over every day things. I noticed that he didn't thank her for cleaning up the kitchen after the fact. |
See if it add to anything positive going on. |
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We always say thank you to whoever cooked, and I didn't think about it much until I noticed that when DH's family visits, they do not say thank you and it feels very rude. They also don't thank each other in their own house as much when someone cooks.
I remember once hosting his entire family at our house and DH spent a bunch of time planning a meal and getting it ready (I helped a little but mostly was taking care of a new baby at the time). He also entertained his parents while he was cooking, just being a very gracious host. And the only person who thanked him for cooking or told him it tasted good was me. It was crazy to me. It was literally hours of work and he'd clearly pulled out all the stops for his family, and they didn't even bother with "oh thanks for cooking" or "looks good" or whatever. He was really hurt, but that is just how they are. I'm so glad we aren't like that. I think we are happier and our relationships are healthier. We don't just expect people to do things for us without acknowledgement or thanks. |
| My family eats the meal and that is considered thanks. Coming for seconds is considered very appreciative. My family is spoiled. They will not eat if they don’t love the food. They will order take out. |
My husband and I thank each other for doing the daily stuff: putting the kids to bed, cleaning the kitchen, making the bed, making a meal etc. I think it’s a small but meaningful gesture that helps keep us connected and keeps our marriage strong. Gratitude is important! |