thanks for making dinner

[Anonymous]

If you cook, do you expect your DH to say "this taste great!" or some form of verbal appreciation for making dinner? Just wondering if I'm expecting too much?

[Anonymous]

My family thanks me for making dinner, but if they don’t like it, they tell me that too.

[Anonymous]

I mean, not every night, but yes, some appreciation from time to time is nice.

[Anonymous]

DH and I thank each other for everything, including cooking dinner (he thanks me) and cleaning up dinner (I thank him). When he does cook dinner, I always thank him even though I don't particularly like it when he cooks; and I always clean and he thanks me.

There are a lot DH and I get wrong, but this is one thing we get right. We thank each other for taking out the trash, doing laundry, handling dinner and homework and bedtime if one of us has to work late, etc.

[Anonymous]

We usually say something like, mmm, this is a great dinner. Or if it misses the mark, we'd give honest feedback too, such as, too little salt, maybe not cooked long enough?

[Anonymous]

Yes, some acknowledgement that someone made you a meal is basically required in our house. Whoever cooks gets some gratitude from everyone who eats. Even if it turns out they don't like the meal! That's fine, you don't have to eat something you don't like. But you do need to thank the person who took the time to plan and execute a meal for you.

It's pretty much the bare minimum.

DH and I don't have a perfect relationship by a long shot, but the two things we do a lot are express gratitude for each other and make sure to let each other know we love each other. It's amazing how far these habits will go to smoothing over the rough spots, especially when you have kids and especially in middle age when work and family stuff can be a huge slog and you might not have a ton left for each other. "Thank you" and "I love you" do a lot of work to keep us on an even keel.

[Anonymous]

Yes, we’ve talked about this together before. He should thank me or say something nice about the meal that he liked, because I want that role modeled for my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I thank each other for everything, including cooking dinner (he thanks me) and cleaning up dinner (I thank him). When he does cook dinner, I always thank him even though I don't particularly like it when he cooks; and I always clean and he thanks me.

There are a lot DH and I get wrong, but this is one thing we get right. We thank each other for taking out the trash, doing laundry, handling dinner and homework and bedtime if one of us has to work late, etc.

This, all of this. It's so easy to take all the stuff for granted in a marriage and if you just get in the habit of always acknowledging when your partner has done anything that makes your life easier, you can avoid a lot of resentment. Also, I have found that we are more likely to do nice "extras" for each other because we thank each other a lot. Like my DH will just make me a tea without me asking, or I'll put his clothes away when the laundry's done instead of just leaving it on the bed for him to put away. I think we are more likely to go a little above and beyond for each other because we know the other person appreciates us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I thank each other for everything, including cooking dinner (he thanks me) and cleaning up dinner (I thank him). When he does cook dinner, I always thank him even though I don't particularly like it when he cooks; and I always clean and he thanks me.

There are a lot DH and I get wrong, but this is one thing we get right. We thank each other for taking out the trash, doing laundry, handling dinner and homework and bedtime if one of us has to work late, etc.

This, all of this. It's so easy to take all the stuff for granted in a marriage and if you just get in the habit of always acknowledging when your partner has done anything that makes your life easier, you can avoid a lot of resentment. Also, I have found that we are more likely to do nice "extras" for each other because we thank each other a lot. Like my DH will just make me a tea without me asking, or I'll put his clothes away when the laundry's done instead of just leaving it on the bed for him to put away. I think we are more likely to go a little above and beyond for each other because we know the other person appreciates us.

Very impressed, I will have to implement this stuff pronto!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I thank each other for everything, including cooking dinner (he thanks me) and cleaning up dinner (I thank him). When he does cook dinner, I always thank him even though I don't particularly like it when he cooks; and I always clean and he thanks me.

There are a lot DH and I get wrong, but this is one thing we get right. We thank each other for taking out the trash, doing laundry, handling dinner and homework and bedtime if one of us has to work late, etc.

Why?

[Anonymous]

Of course, little expressions of gratitude are one of those things that keep a relationship healthy.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I think that's a reasonable expectation. My DH is usually pretty good about it. He cooks sometimes too, and I always thank him when he does. The kids are hit or miss

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I thank each other for everything, including cooking dinner (he thanks me) and cleaning up dinner (I thank him). When he does cook dinner, I always thank him even though I don't particularly like it when he cooks; and I always clean and he thanks me.

There are a lot DH and I get wrong, but this is one thing we get right. We thank each other for taking out the trash, doing laundry, handling dinner and homework and bedtime if one of us has to work late, etc.

Why?

NP. Because appreciation is kind? Because you want your partner to feel good? Because we should all celebrate the little things?

Just because somebody should do something doesn't mean somebody else shouldn't give some verbal appreciation. It's very depressing to go through life with no recognition of the efforts you make. There is no reason to withhold appreciation.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely a reasonable expectation. He doesn't have to lie but if somebody cooks for you, saying thank you is the least you can do.

[Anonymous]

Yes. We model this for our kids too. We expect that everyone at the table thanks the person who prepared the meal. They don't have to say it tastes great if they don't think it does, but they do have to say thank you for cooking.