Are we insane? Need perspective, please! Full time nanny and full time preschool?

[Anonymous]

I would avoid coops - with infant twins and a full-time job, I'm sure you don't have time to deal with all the crap that sending your kid to a coop entails (lots of volunteering, having to go out and buy very specific things, etc.). So if you can't find something like a church-based half day program, I would stick to the full day program if you can afford it. I agree that your three year old needs some socialization and wouldn't be getting a ton of attention from the nanny whose focus will be on the babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FT preschool (i assume you mean 9-5 daycare) us asking a lot of your 3 yr old. That will be a super long day and a hard transition from what he's used to. Throw in TWO new (and needy)baby siblings and it will be miserable.

Is the coop preschool shorter? Like 9-12 MWF- type? Have you asked about parent commitment? Not all coop are the same so just bc you both work FT doesn't mean you still can't be part of the classroom experience.

There ate no other true preschools nearby which offer a good compromise of not being FT, but still offer socialization/friendships, etc.

Have you looked near your base elementary school? I ask bc there's a greater chance kids in a preschool near your base elem school also live nearby (easy play dates, commonality) and will also be familiar faces in 2 yrs when it's time for kindergarten. (that was our strategy).

The solution here is to start him in full-day preschool before the babies are born so that he can get used to it, and he will. We started my daughter in full-day preschool about 2 months before her baby sister was born (she was moving from a very small in home daycare so she moved from her+3 kids to a 12 kid classroom) and I'm glad we did it that way so we could have one transition at a time.

The only downside here is that you'll have a couple months where you're paying your nanny to do nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks very much for all the responses and perspective. To answer a few questions that have come up in case that changes advice:

- Babies would be about 6-7 months by the time preschool starts for toddler, so we're hoping that is staggered enough so not too many transitions at once
- Toddler had been in nanny share and spends 2 half a days a week in a local library program (with nanny) so he has some social experience / germ exposure, obviously school would be very different
- FT preschool appears to mean 9-3 pm
- The closest coops only offer 2 mornings a week, one does have a buyout option, but still not sure what that accomplishes given that an adult still needs to be responsible for short turn around time and all the time NOT in school

thanks everyone!

This sound like a great solution - 9-3 is ideal, you'll just need to make sure nanny works the naps around that pickup time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can't toddler stay home with nanny until more school age appropriate like 3 or 4?

[Anonymous]

Nanny here -

Your nanny won’t stay unless your toddler goes to school/daycare. It’s an impossible job and will lead to burn out. Miserable for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Twin parent here - absolutely do the nanny and FT preschool.

+1

[Anonymous]

We did the full day preschool. My son skipped about 1-2 days a week because my H had weekend work sometime so he would not take him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FT preschool (i assume you mean 9-5 daycare) us asking a lot of your 3 yr old. That will be a super long day and a hard transition from what he's used to. Throw in TWO new (and needy)baby siblings and it will be miserable.

Is the coop preschool shorter? Like 9-12 MWF- type? Have you asked about parent commitment? Not all coop are the same so just bc you both work FT doesn't mean you still can't be part of the classroom experience.

There ate no other true preschools nearby which offer a good compromise of not being FT, but still offer socialization/friendships, etc.

Have you looked near your base elementary school? I ask bc there's a greater chance kids in a preschool near your base elem school also live nearby (easy play dates, commonality) and will also be familiar faces in 2 yrs when it's time for kindergarten. (that was our strategy).

The solution here is to start him in full-day preschool before the babies are born so that he can get used to it, and he will. We started my daughter in full-day preschool about 2 months before her baby sister was born (she was moving from a very small in home daycare so she moved from her+3 kids to a 12 kid classroom) and I'm glad we did it that way so we could have one transition at a time.

The only downside here is that you'll have a couple months where you're paying your nanny to do nothing.

Ugh....

If you are hiring temporary then pay your nanny a lot more. No one takes jobs for a few months...
Go hire your mom to do nothing

[Anonymous]

I have twins and a pre schooler. The twins have a full time nanny and the preschooler is in school full time since they were 4 months old. We tried three with the nanny and it’s too difficult for one person. No one gets adequate attention. My older son is happier around his peers and the twins get the attention that they need. Yes eventually the viruses make their way around the house but the nanny still comes when they are sick as long as she’s well. That way we don’t miss too much work.

[Anonymous]

Here's what I did: toddler was 2y9m when twins arrived. He went to 1/2 day preschool, 2 days per week at 2 different schools. I started him the month before I delivered. You have to know your kid, but I knew mine would be miserable at home with babies and nanny (and I was SAHM). I would have and should have put him in one of the schools for 3 days and the other for 2---because everyone was unhappy on Fridays!!

Toddler was a very social boy who had no trouble moving from one class/school to the other. I think he did 5 half-days the next year, and finally day pre-K the year twins turned 2
With three under three, if you have resources, it is worth is to pay for all the help you need.

[Anonymous]

"finally all day pre K"

[Anonymous]

PP twin parent here - do not do a co-op. They're a lovely concept, but not going to work for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FT preschool (i assume you mean 9-5 daycare) us asking a lot of your 3 yr old. That will be a super long day and a hard transition from what he's used to. Throw in TWO new (and needy)baby siblings and it will be miserable.

Is the coop preschool shorter? Like 9-12 MWF- type? Have you asked about parent commitment? Not all coop are the same so just bc you both work FT doesn't mean you still can't be part of the classroom experience.

Agree.
"FT preschool" = daycare.
Preschool only lasts a few hours a day, preferably in the morning when the kids are fresh and ready to absorb the experience. By afternoon, they are worn out. It's a lot to put on a little kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FT preschool (i assume you mean 9-5 daycare) us asking a lot of your 3 yr old. That will be a super long day and a hard transition from what he's used to. Throw in TWO new (and needy)baby siblings and it will be miserable.

Is the coop preschool shorter? Like 9-12 MWF- type? Have you asked about parent commitment? Not all coop are the same so just bc you both work FT doesn't mean you still can't be part of the classroom experience.

There ate no other true preschools nearby which offer a good compromise of not being FT, but still offer socialization/friendships, etc.

Have you looked near your base elementary school? I ask bc there's a greater chance kids in a preschool near your base elem school also live nearby (easy play dates, commonality) and will also be familiar faces in 2 yrs when it's time for kindergarten. (that was our strategy).

The solution here is to start him in full-day preschool before the babies are born so that he can get used to it, and he will. We started my daughter in full-day preschool about 2 months before her baby sister was born (she was moving from a very small in home daycare so she moved from her+3 kids to a 12 kid classroom) and I'm glad we did it that way so we could have one transition at a time.

The only downside here is that you'll have a couple months where you're paying your nanny to do nothing.

Ugh....

If you are hiring temporary then pay your nanny a lot more. No one takes jobs for a few months...
Go hire your mom to do nothing

Did you not read the OP? She already has a nanny that she loves and is going to keep employed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FT preschool (i assume you mean 9-5 daycare) us asking a lot of your 3 yr old. That will be a super long day and a hard transition from what he's used to. Throw in TWO new (and needy)baby siblings and it will be miserable.

Is the coop preschool shorter? Like 9-12 MWF- type? Have you asked about parent commitment? Not all coop are the same so just bc you both work FT doesn't mean you still can't be part of the classroom experience.

Agree.
"FT preschool" = daycare.
Preschool only lasts a few hours a day, preferably in the morning when the kids are fresh and ready to absorb the experience. By afternoon, they are worn out. It's a lot to put on a little kid.

OMG, not this AGAIN. I don't know why stay at home moms are so offended by the concept of full day preschool. It's a thing, it's not what you have for your kid, but it's preschool. Get over it. Get a life and stop worrying about stuff like this. You're so annoying!