Are we insane? Need perspective, please! Full time nanny and full time preschool?
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Anonymous
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About to have 3 very young kids - have an almost 3 yr old and expecting twins any day now. As of now we have a nanny, who is committed and ready to stay with us (with a raise, obviously) once twins arrive.
Question is really - what is best plan for the toddler this fall? Once babies are less vulnerable to infection and older, we're thinking he needs to get out of the house and have more stimulation. It will also be harder for nanny to manage all 3 once babies are mobile and I'm back at work. Issue: the most convenient preschools in terms of commute and our favorites are either coops or full day programs. Coops are cheap but not really sure what we get out of them since we both work full time. Next best option appears to be the full day program. So we'd be doing a full time nanny for babies and full time preschool for toddler? Assuming that is (barely? probably?) within our budget, is that just insane? Any advice or takes appreciated! |
Anonymous
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I do believe preschool is important for socialization, OP. The nanny will do pick-up and can look after your 3 year old before you come back from work. In my affluent neighborhood, there are lots of people who do that. Now, are you affluent enough, is the question?
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Anonymous
I’d get a live in ASAP and yes full-time |
Anonymous
| If one of you wasn't working, what would that person do? If it's send the older one to preschool and then stay home with the twins, that's essentially what you're asking this nanny to do. The difference is you're paying for that person too. So I think your choice makes sense (preschool + full time nanny). It's a question of what you can afford. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| I can’t think of any other way to do this. Having the preschooler with the infant twins all day would be torture for everyone. I get that it’s expensive but I think it just is what it is. |
Anonymous
| My coworker has a 3.5 year old and 6-month old twins. The older child was going to a daycare which also does a preschool curriculum. She has kept her there. Twins have a nanny. Nanny also watches the older kid if she can’t go to daycare. It’s expensive but they can afford it and it seems to be working very well for them. |
Anonymous
| This is the only way to do it if you can afford it. |
Anonymous
| Twin parent here - absolutely do the nanny and FT preschool. |
Anonymous
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Sure, if it's in your finances.
Just be aware that if your 3 yr old hasn't been in a situation like this before, has been home all this time and not around other kids, he/she is probably going to be velcro for every virus there is out there. And that's okay! My kids, in FT daycare once they were 12 weeks old, experienced this. Then they started elementary school and were rarely sick. |
Anonymous
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FT preschool (i assume you mean 9-5 daycare) us asking a lot of your 3 yr old. That will be a super long day and a hard transition from what he's used to. Throw in TWO new (and needy)baby siblings and it will be miserable.
Is the coop preschool shorter? Like 9-12 MWF- type? Have you asked about parent commitment? Not all coop are the same so just bc you both work FT doesn't mean you still can't be part of the classroom experience. There ate no other true preschools nearby which offer a good compromise of not being FT, but still offer socialization/friendships, etc. Have you looked near your base elementary school? I ask bc there's a greater chance kids in a preschool near your base elem school also live nearby (easy play dates, commonality) and will also be familiar faces in 2 yrs when it's time for kindergarten. (that was our strategy). |
Anonymous
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OP here. Thanks very much for all the responses and perspective. To answer a few questions that have come up in case that changes advice:
- Babies would be about 6-7 months by the time preschool starts for toddler, so we're hoping that is staggered enough so not too many transitions at once - Toddler had been in nanny share and spends 2 half a days a week in a local library program (with nanny) so he has some social experience / germ exposure, obviously school would be very different - FT preschool appears to mean 9-3 pm - The closest coops only offer 2 mornings a week, one does have a buyout option, but still not sure what that accomplishes given that an adult still needs to be responsible for short turn around time and all the time NOT in school thanks everyone! |
Anonymous
| Why can't toddler stay home with nanny until more school age appropriate like 3 or 4? |
Anonymous
| When I was a SAHM, I wanted a couple hours of preschool for my 3 yr old. What was available for a short time was not up to par. I enrolled him in a full time pre-school and used it for a couple hours every day. I was paying 1K a month and used it for two years. I thought it was wonderful. |
Anonymous
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I have twins. A nanny that will care for the twins and watch a preschooler that is sick is a great resource for working parents if you can afford it.
The 3 year old will love the full-day preschool as opposed to playing second fiddle to younger siblings needs. |