Would you "let" your 23 year old get engaged to a grad student?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've already told all my kids they are not to get engaged/married until they've had a few years of having a fully developed brain, which happens around 24-25. So they won't get engaged until 27 at the earliest, unless they go rogue.

I'm so thankful my parents didn't try to control me this way, I definitely would have gotten married at 18 out of spite!

I wouldn't have but probably emancipated way before that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've already told all my kids they are not to get engaged/married until they've had a few years of having a fully developed brain, which happens around 24-25. So they won't get engaged until 27 at the earliest, unless they go rogue.

How old are your children? What if one of your kids demonstrates some really poor and immature choices in young adulthood? Would you push back the time they are allowed to be engaged, say early 30s?

And once the kid gets married will they still be controlled by mom and dad or will control switch to their spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've already told all my kids they are not to get engaged/married until they've had a few years of having a fully developed brain, which happens around 24-25. So they won't get engaged until 27 at the earliest, unless they go rogue.

How old are your children? What if one of your kids demonstrates some really poor and immature choices in young adulthood? Would you push back the time they are allowed to be engaged, say early 30s?

And once the kid gets married will they still be controlled by mom and dad or will control switch to their spouse?

In-laws from hell start somewhere.

[Anonymous]

She has a six figure job and trust fund at 23. She'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

I would be thrilled that my son found someone he loves who has a career and passions of her own! Yay for them both!

Why wouldn’t you be happy for them? They can enjoy being married/learning to be adults together and have lots of time together before feeling rushed for babies.

[Anonymous]

Getting married at 22 was the best decision I ever made. I found my person, there was no need to keep looking. Congratulations to your son!

—celebrating 15 years next summer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Getting married at 22 was the best decision I ever made. I found my person, there was no need to keep looking. Congratulations to your son!

—celebrating 15 years next summer

By my math we are the same age. I got married at 27 and would have loved to have met even sooner. It’s so nice to have shared so much.

[Anonymous]

Op, you describe 2 very motivated and disciplined young adults. What makes you better than them? What makes you think you know better than them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting married at 22 was the best decision I ever made. I found my person, there was no need to keep looking. Congratulations to your son!

—celebrating 15 years next summer

By my math we are the same age. I got married at 27 and would have loved to have met even sooner. It’s so nice to have shared so much.

Yes! I always say how lucky we were to have grown up together instead of trying to merge separate households and finances and philosophies at a later date.

[Anonymous]

It’s strange that you equate a PhD student to some kind of failure.

[Anonymous]

TF are you talking about, “let”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she has a six figure job, no student loans and a small trust fund while he is applying to unpaid PhD programs and has large student loans.

At 23 my cousin was already married, expecting her first born and finishing her first year in med school. She is now 20 years later still married, 2 kids and still doctor. Her husband was in med school at same time. It worked for them. Sure it does and does not for others. If just about $, prenup it.

[Anonymous]

What a bizarre thread. I’d be thrilled, especially that my child had met someone they loved so early in life.

[Anonymous]

23 is a completely normal age and life stage to become engaged. Most parents would be thrilled that their (adult) child was marrying a PhD candidate. He won't be a grad student forever.

[Anonymous]

I think you can only talk about your concerns for her long term happiness, and also a pre-nup. Money seems to be your main concern.