Are you envious of your friends and neighbors who have local and super-involved grandparents?

[Anonymous]

Nope. In general I’m not really jealous. I wish I was healthier, but not really jealous of people who are.

[Anonymous]

No, because my parents are only pleasant in small doses.

[Anonymous]

No. You see this from your perspective and trashed the woman who said no earlier, but my mother in law is controlling, manipulative and calculating. It’s difficult and would be better if she lived farther away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used it and trust that “involved” is a double edged sword. My in-laws babysit a lot and meddle even more.

Hahahaha we’re already bashing the in-laws? Grow up.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know why anyone WOULDN’T be jealous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Completely, openly envious but it isn’t fixable (dead), so it’s just a bummer.

Same. We have some friends with very involved grandparents (they’re wonderful people), and it stings.

My parents were also great, involved grandparents to my nieces and nephews, but died before my own kids were born.

[Anonymous]

I’m jealous of the grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. There’s usually strings attached.

Wow aren't you positive Polly! I can't imagine why someone wouldn't want to visit you!

My parents live in my neighborhood and we have a great relationship because we have boundaries (both sides do) and we equally respect the need to support and nurture relationships and to be independent. When I’m in a child care jam, they are there. When they need someone to help with something at the house or dog sit, I’m there. But none of us view the other as their plan A for anything.

[Anonymous]

No. I want my mil to have as little contact with my children as possible.

[Anonymous]

Jealousy is a hard, but natural emotion. Nobody has everything in life and I think it’s okay to acknowledge your feelings as they happen, but then let them go. 3/3 of our remaining parents are engaged and I’m very grateful for that. But I can look with passing jealousy at the people that got to choose their family size and didn’t have the choice taken away by infertility. I have friends that look at my small family with jealousy because we don’t have to deal with special needs. Others that had surprise pregnancies and are now stretched too thin. That’s just life and life is going to be unfair.

[Anonymous]

Not going to lie, I'm jealous. I see grandparents with their grand kids at the playground and wish my parents did that. I know of friends who get so much help from their families while we are scrambling when schools are closed. My family is involved but very much on their terms. My kids adore my parents, and I am happy for whatever involvement I can get. I'm sure others would be jealous of me.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Both sets of my son’s grandparents claim to be very involved, but aren’t at all. We haven’t seen either set on three months.

[Anonymous]

My parents are involved but there are plenty of strings attached! They feel free to comment on absolutely every aspect of our lives and criticize endlessly. Still I appreciate that they are helping and the kids love them. I am jealous of people who have siblings around with cousins for their kids...a big family Christmas with kids everywhere would be my dream. Instead it's our little family and four old people.

[Anonymous]

What does “super involved” even mean? Occasional babysitting ? I had a great relationship with my parents who lived 20 minutes away from me. My mom would babysit whenever I asked, but that wasn’t a weekly or even monthly occurrence. What do you need help with?

[Anonymous]

Definitely a little envious. My parents try their best but for various reasons can only help but so much. They have a great relationship with our children though.
I feel like we have the worst of both worlds with my ILs- they moved back only 5 minutes away from us and take, take, take but have little/no interest in our children. I'd greatly prefer for them to live far away because we reap zero benefits from this situation and they feel so entitled to our time and energy.
I have friends whose ILs dote on their children and offer to babysit all the time and it's frustrating because we have basically the opposite- constantly asked to do things for ILs with zero offered in enchange (would be understandable if they were elderly or something but they're young).