Do divorced parents suddenly have a lot of solo time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m married, but I would love to be a little bit divorced as far as custody. Wouldn’t it be amazing to just know, say, that you have every Wednesday and Thursday evening free? You could schedule haircuts or take meetings late or go to happy hour or plan to get things done and know there was a time available to do it.

Divorce is hard, and I don’t envy anyone who has gone through it, but I would love to have regular, predictable, uninterrupted time away from my children.

As a separated and divorcing parent, divorce is incredibly expensive. If you can afford to divorce, you can afford a babysitter two nights a week.

[Anonymous]

Do you have any relatives that would be willing to keep them on some weekends?

[Anonymous]

Yes it’s amazing frankly. My ex only has 30%. - so I get every other weekend to be a sex goddess with my boyfriend and a mom the rest of the time. Getting rid of my ex was like losing a 4th and 5th child, work wise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m married, but I would love to be a little bit divorced as far as custody. Wouldn’t it be amazing to just know, say, that you have every Wednesday and Thursday evening free? You could schedule haircuts or take meetings late or go to happy hour or plan to get things done and know there was a time available to do it.

Divorce is hard, and I don’t envy anyone who has gone through it, but I would love to have regular, predictable, uninterrupted time away from my children.

Cant you just let you let spouse know you want this time?

[Anonymous]

I'm divorced (this year) and have 50/50.

I don't feel like I have tons of free time. I'm still mom 100% of the time (and dad is dad 100%). I'm pretty busy even when dc is with dad. I have a full time job, aging parents and adult dc that I do things with/for.

I feel like I have more time with my dc when they are with me, because I don't have to deal with the manchild exdh. Dc and I are free to do things we enjoy.

It's their dad's weekend this weekend and today I am taking my mom to run errands and going to fill sandbags due to Ian (I live in FL). No hair appts or dating here LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m married, but I would love to be a little bit divorced as far as custody. Wouldn’t it be amazing to just know, say, that you have every Wednesday and Thursday evening free? You could schedule haircuts or take meetings late or go to happy hour or plan to get things done and know there was a time available to do it.

Divorce is hard, and I don’t envy anyone who has gone through it, but I would love to have regular, predictable, uninterrupted time away from my children.

So why don’t you hire a babysitter to come every Thursday night? Or swap play dates with friends so one mom watches your kid every Thursday and you watch their kid every Tuesday? This isn’t that hard.

[Anonymous]

The divorced moms I know do. The dads didn’t do much of anything during the marriage but have to now. The moms I know love the break and are much happier.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I wish these husbands would go and read these threads and realize how much cheaper and easier it would be for them to provide this time off and in this way avoid divorce?

When my husband takes the kids and does something helpful to me or enables me to do a hobby I enjoy or see a friend, I come back with so much positive energy and goodwill towards him and all of humanity. When I get enough sleep l I have so much more patience for all the little things that otherwise really irritate me, and I can set aside and not ruminate on things that might make me angry when I'm at the edge of my rope, exhausted and lonely. When we actually spend time together I have such a good time. All these things just happen rarely so these times are relatively far and few between....

Maybe writing it down in a cost benefit analysis ("I get Thursdays off or I go berserk and leave) might really drive the point home? I don't know.

[Anonymous]

When I divorced (and still) my former spouse lived thousands of miles away, so I got significantly less alone time (saw kids every few months).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m married, but I would love to be a little bit divorced as far as custody. Wouldn’t it be amazing to just know, say, that you have every Wednesday and Thursday evening free? You could schedule haircuts or take meetings late or go to happy hour or plan to get things done and know there was a time available to do it.

Divorce is hard, and I don’t envy anyone who has gone through it, but I would love to have regular, predictable, uninterrupted time away from my children.

So why don’t you hire a babysitter to come every Thursday night? Or swap play dates with friends so one mom watches your kid every Thursday and you watch their kid every Tuesday? This isn’t that hard.

It’s actually a lot to ask someone to pick your kids up from daycare and school, feed them dinner, help with homework, and get them ready for bed. I’ve asked friends to do this in an emergency, and I’ve done it in an emergency, but I don’t know anyone who does this regularly just to give themselves and their friends a break. Do you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m married, but I would love to be a little bit divorced as far as custody. Wouldn’t it be amazing to just know, say, that you have every Wednesday and Thursday evening free? You could schedule haircuts or take meetings late or go to happy hour or plan to get things done and know there was a time available to do it.

Divorce is hard, and I don’t envy anyone who has gone through it, but I would love to have regular, predictable, uninterrupted time away from my children.

Cant you just let you let spouse know you want this time?

Of course he knows. This is probably our biggest fight. If you really boil it down, it’s probably the underlying cause of 90% of our arguments.

He will get the kids if he is done with work, but he can never guarantee it. I would say that he is done before daycare closes 30-50% of the time, and it’s completely random. He doesn’t usually let me know until a few minutes before he leaves. I don’t think he knows what it’s like to never have that flexibility.

[Anonymous]

I want to do the opposite of divorce. I want to marry another family . I always thought it would be great to live with another family in one house. That way there would be enough adults to swap childcare responsibilities easily, everyone could get a little more free time, and the kids would all be taken care of in an environment where they are comfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m married, but I would love to be a little bit divorced as far as custody. Wouldn’t it be amazing to just know, say, that you have every Wednesday and Thursday evening free? You could schedule haircuts or take meetings late or go to happy hour or plan to get things done and know there was a time available to do it.

Divorce is hard, and I don’t envy anyone who has gone through it, but I would love to have regular, predictable, uninterrupted time away from my children.

So why don’t you hire a babysitter to come every Thursday night? Or swap play dates with friends so one mom watches your kid every Thursday and you watch their kid every Tuesday? This isn’t that hard.

It’s actually a lot to ask someone to pick your kids up from daycare and school, feed them dinner, help with homework, and get them ready for bed. I’ve asked friends to do this in an emergency, and I’ve done it in an emergency, but I don’t know anyone who does this regularly just to give themselves and their friends a break. Do you?

The only way you can get this with regularity is to have live in help, eg an au pair and you give her a short day somewhere else to compensate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to do the opposite of divorce. I want to marry another family . I always thought it would be great to live with another family in one house. That way there would be enough adults to swap childcare responsibilities easily, everyone could get a little more free time, and the kids would all be taken care of in an environment where they are comfortable.

Sister wives

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to do the opposite of divorce. I want to marry another family . I always thought it would be great to live with another family in one house. That way there would be enough adults to swap childcare responsibilities easily, everyone could get a little more free time, and the kids would all be taken care of in an environment where they are comfortable.

Sister wives

Ha! Yes! But I get to choose who it is, and we both bring our own men to have sex with.