Do divorced parents suddenly have a lot of solo time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m married, but I would love to be a little bit divorced as far as custody. Wouldn’t it be amazing to just know, say, that you have every Wednesday and Thursday evening free? You could schedule haircuts or take meetings late or go to happy hour or plan to get things done and know there was a time available to do it.

Divorce is hard, and I don’t envy anyone who has gone through it, but I would love to have regular, predictable, uninterrupted time away from my children.

Cant you just let you let spouse know you want this time?

Of course he knows. This is probably our biggest fight. If you really boil it down, it’s probably the underlying cause of 90% of our arguments.

He will get the kids if he is done with work, but he can never guarantee it. I would say that he is done before daycare closes 30-50% of the time, and it’s completely random. He doesn’t usually let me know until a few minutes before he leaves. I don’t think he knows what it’s like to never have that flexibility.

What does he do? And what do you do that you are ALWAYS able to get the kids? My husband and I talked and I said that our jobs are equally as important and that on the days he's responsible for picking the kids up, he needs to make it work. If that means rescheduling a call or hanging up early, then that's what he has to do. There is no reason why I should be the one to always have to do it. (I'm a lawyer, he's an engineer, for what that's worth, so both jobs we now do from home, and we make about the same salary).

Make him make it work. I mean, if he's in surgery he can't very well leave the patient on the table because daycare is closing, but I'm very curious as to what his job is that he can't guarantee when he's done with work. Spoiler alert - we're never done with work! There is always more work to do. But sometimes you have to stop doing work to pick up your kids and then figure out when you're going to finish the work at another time.

Well, my husband has made it pretty clear over the years that his job takes priority over mine. Like I said, this is our biggest fight. It sounds like you and your husband are on the same page. I guess that I don’t understand why you are thinking of divorce or why you are on this thread.