Why does everyone always ask where your kids go to college??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whenever you meet new people or talk about your kids being college age, inevitably the person needs to know where they go to school.
Do we all feed into this and then get judged (or appreciated) depending on where they go?

I find myself doing it, and it’s asked of me all the time.

No wonder rankings have become so “important”

I'm not asking so I can judge you. I'm asking because I want to get to know you, and your kids are part of your life.

I don't care if you answer Montgomery College or Harvard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whenever you meet new people or talk about your kids being college age, inevitably the person needs to know where they go to school.
Do we all feed into this and then get judged (or appreciated) depending on where they go?

I find myself doing it, and it’s asked of me all the time.

No wonder rankings have become so “important”

People are just making conversation. If this bothers you — or you feel self-conscious by this — maybe you should delve into those feelings a bit. My kid is not at a T50 school, but he is at the perfect school for him and I am happy to tell the world about it. The more confident we are in these discussions, perhaps more people will see that the elite schools are not all that. Most people I have talked to this year are actually very happy with their kids’ non-top tier schools. Some poeple I’ve talked to also say they are less-than-pleased with their top-tier school and will consider “lesser” schools for their younger kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are just makiing conversation, showing an interest. It is polite. They do not care if you say Harvard or NOVA. They will also not rember 10 minutes later.

+1

It's like some Asian custom of greeting, "Have you eaten yet?". They are not really asking what you ate. In English, we say, "How are you?" It's not a medical question about the constipation you are having. It's just a greeting like "Hi."

"How are you" has now become, "How's your kid's college turn out?" Don't mind them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know someone with two kids at HYPS and she doesn’t even want to answer anymore because people think she’s bragging (even though they asked)
Ah, to have such problems

This is true.

[Anonymous]

It's a way of assessing you, obviously. When I meet other people from the UK they often want to know where I went to university and even where I went to school, prior to university. So they can make all those value judgments that really tell them zero about the person they're talking to. So dull.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a way of assessing you, obviously. When I meet other people from the UK they often want to know where I went to university and even where I went to school, prior to university. So they can make all those value judgments that really tell them zero about the person they're talking to. So dull.

This +100000
It’s become the easiest way to judge in your 40-50’s since looks and jobs are less discriminating after a certain age!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:its an easy conversation

People are hoping it will trigger subsequent conversation (e.g., my brother went there, I used to live nearby, I almost went there—whatever). It also tells them where the kid is geographically.

You sound defensive if this bothers you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are just makiing conversation, showing an interest. It is polite. They do not care if you say Harvard or NOVA. They will also not rember 10 minutes later.

+1

It's like some Asian custom of greeting, "Have you eaten yet?". They are not really asking what you ate. In English, we say, "How are you?" It's not a medical question about the constipation you are having. It's just a greeting like "Hi."


That Chinese greeting stems from a time when many people had trouble eating everyday.

Yes, thank God, it is less literal now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know someone with two kids at HYPS and she doesn’t even want to answer anymore because people think she’s bragging (even though they asked)
Ah, to have such problems

This is true. [/quote

I do not have a college sticker or a tshirt.

[Anonymous]

I hope people will ask me. I love to humble brag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whenever you meet new people or talk about your kids being college age, inevitably the person needs to know where they go to school.
Do we all feed into this and then get judged (or appreciated) depending on where they go?

I find myself doing it, and it’s asked of me all the time.

No wonder rankings have become so “important”

I'm not asking so I can judge you. I'm asking because I want to get to know you, and your kids are part of your life.

I don't care if you answer Montgomery College or Harvard.

Same and I actually love to hear of a kid going someplace I don't know. I'd love to hear what's great about it. Much more interesting conversation than if your kid goes to Harvard

[Anonymous]

I don't mind the college question, seems like a conversation starter. The HS question bothers me thought, it seems kind of judgy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a way of assessing you, obviously. When I meet other people from the UK they often want to know where I went to university and even where I went to school, prior to university. So they can make all those value judgments that really tell them zero about the person they're talking to. So dull.

As if they can't tell by how you speak. GMAFB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whenever you meet new people or talk about your kids being college age, inevitably the person needs to know where they go to school.
Do we all feed into this and then get judged (or appreciated) depending on where they go?

I find myself doing it, and it’s asked of me all the time.

No wonder rankings have become so “important”

Not for brand new people I meet, but I ask the parents whom I've known since my DC was in elem school, "What is Larla/Larlo up to now?"

Larla could be doing anything. At Harvard, or at community college, or finding a new interest and exploring it (while at either Harvard or community college).

[Anonymous]

Curiosity and conversation. Sometimes you can connect people with others.