I hate Mother’s Day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here… I guess I’m mostly frustrated that my mom won’t give up the day AND doesn’t ask maybe what I’d like to do. If I have to share the day, fine, but taking my young kids to brunch isn’t it.

So open your mouth and tell her this. Maybe she isn’t treating you like an adult because you are reverting to acting like a child around her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here… I guess I’m mostly frustrated that my mom won’t give up the day AND doesn’t ask maybe what I’d like to do. If I have to share the day, fine, but taking my young kids to brunch isn’t it.

Dude. You are an adult and a parent to children. The problem is that you believe it’s her day to “give up” or not. Next year, inform her in advance what your plan is. If she pitches a temper tantrum, oh well.

[Anonymous]

So much victimhood here.

[Anonymous]

I am so pissed. My Dh basically lied to me about where we were going. It was a day with his mom. All her favorite foods and we drove 3 hours each way to see her. My infant has been screaming his head off for 2 hours. He lied to me because he knew I asked to go to a winery or a nice picnic. Clearly he thought his mom was more important than me and that my feelings weren’t as important as hers. He thought I could just suck it up and celebrate another day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so pissed. My Dh basically lied to me about where we were going. It was a day with his mom. All her favorite foods and we drove 3 hours each way to see her. My infant has been screaming his head off for 2 hours. He lied to me because he knew I asked to go to a winery or a nice picnic. Clearly he thought his mom was more important than me and that my feelings weren’t as important as hers. He thought I could just suck it up and celebrate another day.

Oooh, so more details are needed here.
What exactly did he say? What time did you leave? Get back?
What did you do with MIL?

[Anonymous]

Op, why not celebrate with your mom on a different day? Take her to brunch on Friday or Saturday solo without the kids. Just say I prefer to spend my mother's day enjoying time with my kids and welcome her to join in what you like.

To the other poster who ended up celebrating mother in law and having the long drive, I would lay down the law and say I will never ever again spend mothers day doing things your mother enjoys. If that is the case he should visit his mom solo. Sounds like this may be on of your first mothers days as you mentioned an infant. Better establish expectations early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, why not celebrate with your mom on a different day? Take her to brunch on Friday or Saturday solo without the kids. Just say I prefer to spend my mother's day enjoying time with my kids and welcome her to join in what you like.

To the other poster who ended up celebrating mother in law and having the long drive, I would lay down the law and say I will never ever again spend mothers day doing things your mother enjoys. If that is the case he should visit his mom solo. Sounds like this may be on of your first mothers days as you mentioned an infant. Better establish expectations early.

I have tried to celebrate and all hell breaks loose. This is the path of least resistance, so that’s what we did this year, but I’m just resentful.

[Anonymous]

You guys are nuts. I do Mom dad for my mom on Saturday. I just told her that is when I can get together.

Sunday is my day (kids still in the house).

Do the same Father’s Day weekend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so pissed. My Dh basically lied to me about where we were going. It was a day with his mom. All her favorite foods and we drove 3 hours each way to see her. My infant has been screaming his head off for 2 hours. He lied to me because he knew I asked to go to a winery or a nice picnic. Clearly he thought his mom was more important than me and that my feelings weren’t as important as hers. He thought I could just suck it up and celebrate another day.

Oof. You win the Sucky Husband award for the day. I hope you aren’t having sex with him for a good long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, why not celebrate with your mom on a different day? Take her to brunch on Friday or Saturday solo without the kids. Just say I prefer to spend my mother's day enjoying time with my kids and welcome her to join in what you like.

To the other poster who ended up celebrating mother in law and having the long drive, I would lay down the law and say I will never ever again spend mothers day doing things your mother enjoys. If that is the case he should visit his mom solo. Sounds like this may be on of your first mothers days as you mentioned an infant. Better establish expectations early.

I have tried to celebrate and all hell breaks loose. This is the path of least resistance, so that’s what we did this year, but I’m just resentful.

Sorry, but that’s not good enough. You have to lean into the nonsense and embrace it. So what if they have a tantrum? Stop trying to please everyone so that you get to be the resentful martyr. It’s not a good look.

[Anonymous]

Its so freeing to get old (42), have older kids (tweens and teens), and be married a long time (18 years). I truly just don't GAF about the actual day of mother's day. So we spend the day with my local inlaws every year. (My mom is dead.) Sometime in the week or so before, I get myself a massage and a mani-pedi, buy some new spring clothes, and have DH go with me to a favorite restaurant. He doesn't have to disappoint his petulant immature guilt-tripping mother, and I score points for being the most understanding wife ever.

It takes so much less energy to just not care.

[Anonymous]

Wow, nothing is stopping you from checking into a hotel and getting away. People will walk all over you if you let them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just book a getaway for next year’s Mother’s Day weekend. Write nice messages to them on Facebook or send e-cards to them.

This is what my friend started doing 5 years ago. Every year for Mother’s Day she books herself a weekend getaway. It caused a lot of drama at first be she didn’t give a fu$k. She’s been encouraging me to do the same. She said it’s the best self care thing she’s done for herself in a long time. She was tired of feeling frustrated, disappointed, and annoyed and decided to take control of the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, why not celebrate with your mom on a different day? Take her to brunch on Friday or Saturday solo without the kids. Just say I prefer to spend my mother's day enjoying time with my kids and welcome her to join in what you like.

To the other poster who ended up celebrating mother in law and having the long drive, I would lay down the law and say I will never ever again spend mothers day doing things your mother enjoys. If that is the case he should visit his mom solo. Sounds like this may be on of your first mothers days as you mentioned an infant. Better establish expectations early.

I have tried to celebrate and all hell breaks loose. This is the path of least resistance, so that’s what we did this year, but I’m just resentful.

How old are you OP? Why are you putting up with this nonsense from your mom?
Just tell your mom that you will visit with her on Saturday or the next weekend. That’s it. Not up for discussion.
At some point, you have to be ok with not pleasing everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so pissed. My Dh basically lied to me about where we were going. It was a day with his mom. All her favorite foods and we drove 3 hours each way to see her. My infant has been screaming his head off for 2 hours. He lied to me because he knew I asked to go to a winery or a nice picnic. Clearly he thought his mom was more important than me and that my feelings weren’t as important as hers. He thought I could just suck it up and celebrate another day.

I would be checking into a hotel this evening.