Your daily reminder that expecting parents to teach their kids at home is super inequitable

[Anonymous]

As a matter of public policy we really can't expect parents to do much of anything besides get kids to school well-fed and -rest, and half that time families need support just to pull that off.

Still, folks need to face the fact that the public schools just don't have the time/resources to educate our children to the standard most UMC folks demand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is directed towards posters who retort “teach them yourselves!” when parents complain that their school doesn’t teach phonics, handwriting, spelling, grammar, multiplication tables, etc.

The *only* thing parents should be responsible for is ensuring their kids are well fed and rested, and mentally and physically ready to learn at school. If there are not enough hours in the school day to do everything, teachers should be sending explicit instructions to the parents about what to do at home (eg please have your child drill these times tables until they’ve memorized them). This is also known as “homework”.

No. Your entire post is the height of parental laziness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you just argue for the sake of arguing. Are you all frustrated lawyers?

No one said that parents *shouldn’t* supplement, just that they shouldn’t be *expected* to fill in the gaps for school curriculum.

Take your irrelevant stories and shove them up your a**

They're not irrelevant. You just feel called out by them. Oh well.

Shove your defensiveness and your crappy attitude in the same place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you just argue for the sake of arguing. Are you all frustrated lawyers?

No one said that parents *shouldn’t* supplement, just that they shouldn’t be *expected* to fill in the gaps for school curriculum.

Take your irrelevant stories and shove them up your a**

Hopefully this isn’t the example you are setting for your kids. If this is the way you behave regularly, your kids’ teachers are doing more parenting of your kids than is expected from them— and that’s something they shouldn’t have to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a matter of public policy we really can't expect parents to do much of anything besides get kids to school well-fed and -rest, and half that time families need support just to pull that off.

Still, folks need to face the fact that the public schools just don't have the time/resources to educate our children to the standard most UMC folks demand.

I grew up in a very poor area and still had my math facts down cold by fifth grade. How do teachers here not have the time and resources to make that happen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is directed towards posters who retort “teach them yourselves!” when parents complain that their school doesn’t teach phonics, handwriting, spelling, grammar, multiplication tables, etc.

The *only* thing parents should be responsible for is ensuring their kids are well fed and rested, and mentally and physically ready to learn at school. If there are not enough hours in the school day to do everything, teachers should be sending explicit instructions to the parents about what to do at home (eg please have your child drill these times tables until they’ve memorized them). This is also known as “homework”.

No. Your entire post is the height of parental laziness.

How do you get that? OP wasn’t even talking about what she wants for herself, she’s just talking about what she wants for kids whose parents won’t or can’t teach.

[Anonymous]

How is this even a complaint? You think asking for a parent's help in an assignment from a teacher is inequitable?

If it's graded on whether a parent helped, then maybe. If an adult, any adult, can't help your child with their homework, that's really awful.

The government is not responsible for everything for your child except for food and a place to sleep. Really re-think how much your believe you are entitled to.

[Anonymous]

I don't think that it's bad for parents to help their kids. Parents can do whatever they want with their kids.

I do think it's bad when teachers decide they aren't teaching something that's part of the curriculum, because parents "should" teach it at home. Teachers need to teach the entire curriculum, the entire curriculum needs to be accessible to every child, not just the ones whose parents have the ability to teach them at home.

So, for example, when I hear that AAP programs "expect" kids to come in with their multiplication tables memorized? Or Kindergarten teachers "expect" kids to come in knowing all the letters, I think that's unacceptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a matter of public policy we really can't expect parents to do much of anything besides get kids to school well-fed and -rest, and half that time families need support just to pull that off.

Still, folks need to face the fact that the public schools just don't have the time/resources to educate our children to the standard most UMC folks demand.

I grew up in a very poor area and still had my math facts down cold by fifth grade. How do teachers here not have the time and resources to make that happen?

Today, at least, I think most UMC parents would expect a mastery of math facts well before 5th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I strongly disagree.

What about my husband's WAR REFUGEE parents who came to their host country with nothing, worked hard, and found time to teach their 4 children, all of whom became doctors, bankers or engineers?

We are not wealthy, and until recently didn't have the resources to outsource my son's special needs therapies, executive coaching and tutoring he has needed since he was little. We did 90% of the work ourselves until last year when we put our hard-earned money into great tutors for him, to get him to the next level.

There will always be unfit parents who are not able to parent, absent parents who are not there to help, and all kinds of situations where children are not getting what they need from their families, or lack thereof.

It does NOT mean that the rest of us, rich or poor, should purposefully refrain from helping our children in any way we can.

Schools will provide what governments and society decide they should pay for. It may not be enough for some children. If you, the loving parent, can't make up the difference, nobody will pick up the slack, OP.

Your husband’s family came here with no debt.

??? They came WITH NOTHING but a couple of suitcases. My husband remembers being left in an empty room with his 3 brothers (all under the age of 7), while their mother went to sort out paperwork, and only a bucket to pee in. No furniture. No food. Nothing. He remembers being hungry for years.

What do you mean, no debt?!?!! Are you trying to be funny? Can you even fathom what it means to be a child, hungry and cold and not speak the language? He clawed his way out of poverty and he became a doctor.

Yet his immigrant parents were able to help him and his brothers with homework, teach him math beyond the school's curriculum and get him ahead in most subjects, all while living in a crappy house in a dangerous neighborhood.

So don't give me excuses on why you can't teach your child. It's important to demand great public schools so that all children can be well served. But you need to do your job as a parent too.

Okay. None of that invalidates the effects of systemic racism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I strongly disagree.

What about my husband's WAR REFUGEE parents who came to their host country with nothing, worked hard, and found time to teach their 4 children, all of whom became doctors, bankers or engineers?

We are not wealthy, and until recently didn't have the resources to outsource my son's special needs therapies, executive coaching and tutoring he has needed since he was little. We did 90% of the work ourselves until last year when we put our hard-earned money into great tutors for him, to get him to the next level.

There will always be unfit parents who are not able to parent, absent parents who are not there to help, and all kinds of situations where children are not getting what they need from their families, or lack thereof.

It does NOT mean that the rest of us, rich or poor, should purposefully refrain from helping our children in any way we can.

Schools will provide what governments and society decide they should pay for. It may not be enough for some children. If you, the loving parent, can't make up the difference, nobody will pick up the slack, OP.

Your husband’s family came here with no debt.

??? They came WITH NOTHING but a couple of suitcases. My husband remembers being left in an empty room with his 3 brothers (all under the age of 7), while their mother went to sort out paperwork, and only a bucket to pee in. No furniture. No food. Nothing. He remembers being hungry for years.

What do you mean, no debt?!?!! Are you trying to be funny? Can you even fathom what it means to be a child, hungry and cold and not speak the language? He clawed his way out of poverty and he became a doctor.

Yet his immigrant parents were able to help him and his brothers with homework, teach him math beyond the school's curriculum and get him ahead in most subjects, all while living in a crappy house in a dangerous neighborhood.

So don't give me excuses on why you can't teach your child. It's important to demand great public schools so that all children can be well served. But you need to do your job as a parent too.

oh. so they were well-educated themselves, unlike the majority of refugees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I strongly disagree.

What about my husband's WAR REFUGEE parents who came to their host country with nothing, worked hard, and found time to teach their 4 children, all of whom became doctors, bankers or engineers?

We are not wealthy, and until recently didn't have the resources to outsource my son's special needs therapies, executive coaching and tutoring he has needed since he was little. We did 90% of the work ourselves until last year when we put our hard-earned money into great tutors for him, to get him to the next level.

There will always be unfit parents who are not able to parent, absent parents who are not there to help, and all kinds of situations where children are not getting what they need from their families, or lack thereof.

It does NOT mean that the rest of us, rich or poor, should purposefully refrain from helping our children in any way we can.

Schools will provide what governments and society decide they should pay for. It may not be enough for some children. If you, the loving parent, can't make up the difference, nobody will pick up the slack, OP.

Your husband’s family came here with no debt.

??? They came WITH NOTHING but a couple of suitcases. My husband remembers being left in an empty room with his 3 brothers (all under the age of 7), while their mother went to sort out paperwork, and only a bucket to pee in. No furniture. No food. Nothing. He remembers being hungry for years.

What do you mean, no debt?!?!! Are you trying to be funny? Can you even fathom what it means to be a child, hungry and cold and not speak the language? He clawed his way out of poverty and he became a doctor.

Yet his immigrant parents were able to help him and his brothers with homework, teach him math beyond the school's curriculum and get him ahead in most subjects, all while living in a crappy house in a dangerous neighborhood.

So don't give me excuses on why you can't teach your child. It's important to demand great public schools so that all children can be well served. But you need to do your job as a parent too.

oh. so they were well-educated themselves, unlike the majority of refugees.

Penniless refugee immigrants who don’t speak the language and have small children to care for but nevertheless raised their kids to be successful, contributing members of society? Sorry, you lose on this one.

[Anonymous]

As a black parent, I don't have the luxury of expecting the school to do the heavy lifting in terms of core math and ELA. Maybe little white kids can survive entering K with zero literacy or numeracy skills, but my little black boys wouldn't be taken seriously, nor would I as a responsible parent. Don't talk to be about "equity" when some of you want the "privilege" of sending your kids to school unprepared, notwithstanding the fact that you have the resources to do so.

No, the school shouldn't expect much from parents, but you should expect more from yourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is this even a complaint? You think asking for a parent's help in an assignment from a teacher is inequitable?

If it's graded on whether a parent helped, then maybe. If an adult, any adult, can't help your child with their homework, that's really awful.

The government is not responsible for everything for your child except for food and a place to sleep. Really re-think how much your believe you are entitled to.

Again, some of you either can’t read, or argue for the sake of arguing. Go back and re-read the OP. I said it’s wrong for schools to expect parents to research gaps in curriculum and fill them in. Parents are welcome to do what they wish, but they shouldn’t have to make up for a school’s failing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is directed towards posters who retort “teach them yourselves!” when parents complain that their school doesn’t teach phonics, handwriting, spelling, grammar, multiplication tables, etc.

The *only* thing parents should be responsible for is ensuring their kids are well fed and rested, and mentally and physically ready to learn at school. If there are not enough hours in the school day to do everything, teachers should be sending explicit instructions to the parents about what to do at home (eg please have your child drill these times tables until they’ve memorized them). This is also known as “homework”.

No. Your entire post is the height of parental laziness.

Lol, no. I am the least lazy parent. I take my kids to museums, hikes, volunteer activities, cultural activities. Play with them outside a lot. I also have the time to fill in curriculum gaps if I needed to (though I send to private so I don’t have to). However, many parents are time-poor or lack the education and resources themselves to recognize and fill in curriculum gaps. They shouldn’t have to. Their kids SHOULD be educated well enough at school so that they don’t have to.