Being single and seeing my friends get married and have kids

[Anonymous]

LOL Barnes and Noble? What do you do just sit there and wait for a man to approach you? Hahahaha.

It's 2022. Men do not approach women in public. Maybe in bars when they are shitfaced but that's not the kind of attention you want anyways because they're just looking for a one night stand. Then again at your age it might be a way to trap man through unplanned pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL Barnes and Noble? What do you do just sit there and wait for a man to approach you? Hahahaha.

It's 2022. Men do not approach women in public. Maybe in bars when they are shitfaced but that's not the kind of attention you want anyways because they're just looking for a one night stand. Then again at your age it might be a way to trap man through unplanned pregnancy.

Man here. You're right. I have single male friends in their 30s. They'd never go to a yoga class and I don't think they'd be hanging around the few Barnes & Nobles that haven't shut down. Even if they did, they're not going to flirt with women -- you can easily get branded a harasser and banned from the store. Why risk it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL Barnes and Noble? What do you do just sit there and wait for a man to approach you? Hahahaha.

It's 2022. Men do not approach women in public. Maybe in bars when they are shitfaced but that's not the kind of attention you want anyways because they're just looking for a one night stand. Then again at your age it might be a way to trap man through unplanned pregnancy.

Man here. You're right. I have single male friends in their 30s. They'd never go to a yoga class and I don't think they'd be hanging around the few Barnes & Nobles that haven't shut down. Even if they did, they're not going to flirt with women -- you can easily get branded a harasser and banned from the store. Why risk it?

There are no good ways to meet women these days outside of apps. Work is too risky (unless you work some low tier job where it doesn’t matter). Public is too risky. Bars and clubs only work well for certain types of people. So we have to go on apps where the average man barely gets any matches even if he’s above average (not saying that I am). It sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL Barnes and Noble? What do you do just sit there and wait for a man to approach you? Hahahaha.

It's 2022. Men do not approach women in public. Maybe in bars when they are shitfaced but that's not the kind of attention you want anyways because they're just looking for a one night stand. Then again at your age it might be a way to trap man through unplanned pregnancy.

Man here. You're right. I have single male friends in their 30s. They'd never go to a yoga class and I don't think they'd be hanging around the few Barnes & Nobles that haven't shut down. Even if they did, they're not going to flirt with women -- you can easily get branded a harasser and banned from the store. Why risk it?

There are no good ways to meet women these days outside of apps. Work is too risky (unless you work some low tier job where it doesn’t matter). Public is too risky. Bars and clubs only work well for certain types of people. So we have to go on apps where the average man barely gets any matches even if he’s above average (not saying that I am). It sucks.

what do you do at socials/parties?

[Anonymous]

I would consider divorced with kids men. It's not ideal but I know several women around my age (36) who married one and quickly got pregnant after the wedding. The common theme of these men is that they have custody of the kids so that probably weeds out a lot of deadbeats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL Barnes and Noble? What do you do just sit there and wait for a man to approach you? Hahahaha.

It's 2022. Men do not approach women in public. Maybe in bars when they are shitfaced but that's not the kind of attention you want anyways because they're just looking for a one night stand. Then again at your age it might be a way to trap man through unplanned pregnancy.

Man here. You're right. I have single male friends in their 30s. They'd never go to a yoga class and I don't think they'd be hanging around the few Barnes & Nobles that haven't shut down. Even if they did, they're not going to flirt with women -- you can easily get branded a harasser and banned from the store. Why risk it?

There are no good ways to meet women these days outside of apps. Work is too risky (unless you work some low tier job where it doesn’t matter). Public is too risky. Bars and clubs only work well for certain types of people. So we have to go on apps where the average man barely gets any matches even if he’s above average (not saying that I am). It sucks.

what do you do at socials/parties?

Most of the parties I go to are house parties with friends who are coupled up or are other single men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do other ladies here who are single get sad because they see their friends getting married and having kids? I know it sounds lame but I get depressed and sad because I can’t find anyone. Mid 30s and single and each guy I meet, they are either talking to multiple women, divorced with kids, or either jobless or have a blue-collar job…not that I have anything against that, but I’m looking for a family soon.

What do you do to cope and meet guys? I try to go to yoga classes, bookstores like Barnes and noble, I’m even trying kickball leagues this spring.

Executive MBA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do other ladies here who are single get sad because they see their friends getting married and having kids? I know it sounds lame but I get depressed and sad because I can’t find anyone. Mid 30s and single and each guy I meet, they are either talking to multiple women, divorced with kids, or either jobless or have a blue-collar job…not that I have anything against that, but I’m looking for a family soon.

What do you do to cope and meet guys? I try to go to yoga classes, bookstores like Barnes and noble, I’m even trying kickball leagues this spring.

My sister got clinically depressed because everyone she knew was getting married, it led to a hasty decision to someone who always wanted to do things he wasn’t good at but collected a degree for. It was a financially troubled marriage where she had to be the primary breadwinner and take on double responsibility to give her kids a good life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do other ladies here who are single get sad because they see their friends getting married and having kids? I know it sounds lame but I get depressed and sad because I can’t find anyone. Mid 30s and single and each guy I meet, they are either talking to multiple women, divorced with kids, or either jobless or have a blue-collar job…not that I have anything against that, but I’m looking for a family soon.

What do you do to cope and meet guys? I try to go to yoga classes, bookstores like Barnes and noble, I’m even trying kickball leagues this spring.

Executive MBA

This is good advice but make sure it’s a high-tier program or it’s not worth it.

Online dating will let you filter for your red flags. Use one of the systems designed for serious relationships, not one designed for hookups.

Do not lower your standards, but do work on whatever your unpartnered priorities would be— if you want kids, for example, start considering what means you’d use if you don’t marry, don’t pass up big milestones like home-ownership, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mid 30s and single and each guy I meet, they are either talking to multiple women, divorced with kids, or either jobless or have a blue-collar job…not that I have anything against that, but I’m looking for a family soon.

Yes, because you waited too long to get serious about wanting to be married. You should have focused on this in your 20s. At this point, you need to lower your standards. That man with a "blue collar job" or "divorced with kids" or a man in his 40s or 50s (likely with kids) are your options now. That is the cold, hard truth. It's time to lower your price.

Nope. Not yet. She’s too young for that and should not waste her time on those complicated situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL Barnes and Noble? What do you do just sit there and wait for a man to approach you? Hahahaha.

It's 2022. Men do not approach women in public. Maybe in bars when they are shitfaced but that's not the kind of attention you want anyways because they're just looking for a one night stand. Then again at your age it might be a way to trap man through unplanned pregnancy.

Man here. You're right. I have single male friends in their 30s. They'd never go to a yoga class and I don't think they'd be hanging around the few Barnes & Nobles that haven't shut down. Even if they did, they're not going to flirt with women -- you can easily get branded a harasser and banned from the store. Why risk it?

There are no good ways to meet women these days outside of apps. Work is too risky (unless you work some low tier job where it doesn’t matter). Public is too risky. Bars and clubs only work well for certain types of people. So we have to go on apps where the average man barely gets any matches even if he’s above average (not saying that I am). It sucks.

The answer is college and college alum meetups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do other ladies here who are single get sad because they see their friends getting married and having kids? I know it sounds lame but I get depressed and sad because I can’t find anyone. Mid 30s and single and each guy I meet, they are either talking to multiple women, divorced with kids, or either jobless or have a blue-collar job…not that I have anything against that, but I’m looking for a family soon.

What do you do to cope and meet guys? I try to go to yoga classes, bookstores like Barnes and noble, I’m even trying kickball leagues this spring.

I get depressed and sad when I see beautiful, thin, young women who are still full of life and vitality and have the freedom to do whatever they want and still think life will be full of joy. Then I go home to an H that would rather watch basketball than talk to me, a kid that tells me I'm the worst mom ever because I won't make chicken nuggets, and a 2 month old that shrieks like a banshee every time I set her down to take a dump so I just hold it in for days because it's easier. As I finally get a chance to sit on the toilet and push out 3 days' worth a crap from a butthole that is still healing from tearing during childbirth, I look in the mirror and just see the shell of the woman I used to be, beaten down by life, bags under my eyes and lines on my face, shackled to a family that probably wouldn't even notice if I died because they're too busy on their screens, until the pantry held nothing but crumbs and an inch thick layer of filth covered everything, and then they'd finally look up from their devices and wonder....what happened to the magic that used to do all of this for us?

[Anonymous]

Skiing or snowboarding. The numbers are greatly in your favor - like 6 guys for every woman. Involves travel + you need money to do it.

You’re welcome.

[Anonymous]

I’d focus on creating the best life you can.

I can assure you that marriage and kids aren’t the end all / be all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d focus on creating the best life you can.

I can assure you that marriage and kids aren’t the end all / be all.

+1. You're not trapped with an infertile man, crazy inlaws, a cheater, abuser, etc. Get a sperm donor and live your best life and don't worry about anyone else.