How many nights to stay when moving kid into dorms? Advice BTDT please
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
I should add to my post that when I say picking stuff up the day before, I didn't mean shopping except for last minute stuff. Many big box stores near college towns (Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, etc) allow you to order and pay for what you need in your hometown store or online and pick it up at your college store destination. College Boxes is also very popular. |
Anonymous
LOL. My parents stuck around for maybe half a day, max? Then we were each off to do our own celebratory thing, and it was all good. |
Anonymous
First year, we dropped off during covid. Flew in, dropped boxes outside dorm where kid and helpers took them upstairs, and drove kid to the quarantine hotel where they waited for their test results (took a day) and DH left. No fanfare. Got a text with a sad picture out the hotel window of DH driving away. 
Last year, got there a day early and did a little bit of touristy stuff, had a couple of good meals, picked up a few things. Dropped kid at school the next morning and flew home that afternoon. |
Anonymous
geez. This brought a tear to my eyes. It is so emotional. Just thinking of all the times from a little baby to launch time. Gulp. |
Anonymous
| Will depend on when the move in time is. I moved in twins last summer and it took about half a day for both. I’d plan for two hours max to help them get boxes in and then get out. My kids were very ready for us to take off as they wanted to get to know their roommate and kids on the hall. There is absolutely NO reason to hang around after move in and certainly wouldn’t plan on a dinner. Do yourself a favor and get out of dodge as soon as possible! |
Anonymous
| I would drive in one day, move in the next day, spend one night, have dinner (or not if the kid wants to socialize) and leave the following morning. |
Anonymous
| Most colleges don't want parents hanging around more than move in day. They plan activities the same or next day for students to start becoming acclimated to their new college home. We have twins at different schools. One is 4 hours away and the other is 2 hours away. We stayed overnight for the 4 hour drive. It was a traffic clogged headache and would have been too exhausting to get back on the road right after helping our son unpack and get settled. So, I booked a hotel room in advance. We had breakfast with our son the next morning at a nearby town center, dropped him back at campus and hit the road. For the 2 hour drive. We drove up, got our daughter unpacked, and then left. |
Anonymous
|
You leave your kid immediately. So, this just depends on your driving schedule.
You don't want to arrive to move-in tired, so arrive the night before ... or be close, say within an hour of the university, the night before. After drop off you should leave right away. I'd say get on the road and leave. Even if you're going to get very far, leave. Again, if there is a pleasant place to stay, away from the university, stay there. |
Anonymous
That’s why you keep it short and sweet. Keep everyone busy hauling and cleaning and unpacking. Kiss Goodbye. And walk away. There are definitely parents who planned to stay for a week at my first kid’s school “just in case,” “just so I can pick stuff up and be helpful,” “just so I can see them settled,” “I’ll check out the area and be there if they need me”. The drawing it out and hanging around while the kid tries to adult for the first time helps no one. It’s a bandaid you gotta just tear off. Having been there done that, I recommend: Stopping somewhere nice on the way home for a night or two to reconnect with your spouse or spouse and kid who also said goodbye and get your bearings. A little time for the remaining family members to bond and adjusts walking into the house without your kid and adjusting to a new way of operating less harsh. Set up a Zoom call about a week after move in. Keep it light. Keep it short. Include the dog. Ask to be shown the dorm room. Seeing your kid settling into their dorm and life is very comforting. For me, it was during COVID, and that was when I knew it would all be okay. Invite over that mom whose also just sent a kid to college, watch beaches and ugly cry (at the movie, of course) Schedule something for your family members at home to look forward too. If you are empty nesting, there is nothing stopping you and DH from heading the Caribbean in October, during what would normally a school week. I always write my kids a Mommy letter I hand them when I say goodbye. An I love you, I’m proud of you, I’m always here if you need me note, in which I talk about the personal growth and accomplishments they’ve had and challenges they’ve overcome in the last year. It’s my way of saying the mushy stuff without embarrassing them and crying. And it seems important to them. They ask before we leave home if I have written the mommy letter. That’s all I got. |
Anonymous
Yeah I actually felt better getting out of the area. To me there is nothing sadder than knowing that I was in the same city and not going to see them (rightly so). I needed to get a clean break. We live two hours away so yeah that made it easier but I’d definitely not plan on hanging around. I was already home, cleaned their room, washed their sheets all before 8 pm. |
Anonymous
-1 disagree completely. Move in day is hectic, often hot, and can be stressful for parents and child alike. Leaving at 4am, driving 10 hours, and then trying to do move-in all on the same day does not sound like a recipe for success at all, You want to be well-rested and refreshed for move-in day. I say drive to college area the day before move-in, stay the night, move in the following day (and do the requisite Target run), have dinner/say your goodbyes, stay in the hotel again that night, and then leave the following morning. (Not to mention, a lot of colleges stagger their move in times so you don't have 500 kids and their parents trying to use the three elevators at 2 flights of stairs all at one time. You could very well get a move in time in the morning so would not be logistically possible to drive it that day.) |
Anonymous
\ Yes, find out if this is the case. My son's large in state U didn't have any events- we drove 4 hours, dropped him off at allocated time, took him out to eat then headed home. My DD goes to a large OOS state school. We flew there the night before move in, spent a morning unpacking and doing Target runs, then went to the family orientation program, cook out and other events planned by the school, spent night 2 at hotel and in the morning took DD to Target for one last time and dropped her off-said goodbye. |
Anonymous
| My older DC went to Purdue. We would drive to Richmond Indiana on the Ohio border and spend the night. We would get up, timing depended on what time slot he was given for dropping off, and drive the rest of the way, and move him in. We would do a Target run and lunch and drop him off. Then head back to the same hotel in Richmond, Indiana. Drive home the next day. I think once we made it to Dayton on the way back. |
Anonymous
for us, move in day was pretty crazy and tiring. no way I would have wanted to do a 10 hour drive afterwards! I would plan to spend the night, but not to spend time with your student. |
Anonymous
+1 DS had a 10am move in slot last Fall. We drove down the day before. He's about 5 hrs away so we drove home that afternoon. But with a 10 hr drive I'd definitely plan for two nights. |