Heavy woman not getting many dates via OLD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m fat and I did OLD in the Bay Area. My BMI was more like mid to high 30s at the time, but I’m quite muscular.

It’s a numbers game. I never got tons of interest online but did have a boyfriend that way.

I was super inflexible on a few things (I didn’t want someone who had kids already or who was unemployed or living with parents). I dated foreign guys and guys older than me.

The bolded shows some flexibility. PP.

OP, had you considered those 2 ?

How about broadening your racial preference (if you have any?)

Are you on several OLD platforms at once? Agree it is a numbers game.

[Anonymous]

Pakistani men.

[Anonymous]

OP- I’m white, it seems that makes a difference? And I would say the men that tend to be at least somewhat into me are extremely nerdy, borderline ASD white men or south Asian men, almost all work in engineering/tech. I kind of realized I may be a back up for these men, as they probably don’t get a lot of attention. I tend to not get involved with the south Asian men because I feel like they’re fetishizing me for being white. Though I am nerdy and into nerdy men, I just don’t know, nobody ever seems super into me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- I’m white, it seems that makes a difference? And I would say the men that tend to be at least somewhat into me are extremely nerdy, borderline ASD white men or south Asian men, almost all work in engineering/tech. I kind of realized I may be a back up for these men, as they probably don’t get a lot of attention. I tend to not get involved with the south Asian men because I feel like they’re fetishizing me for being white. Though I am nerdy and into nerdy men, I just don’t know, nobody ever seems super into me.

Let me give you some old lady advice - sometimes you need to like people that like you. I am not saying you need to settle, but you DO need to be realistic.

You have listed a group of people that are into you, and you have come up with excuses not to date them. And you basically mean socially awkward...which doesn't necessarily mean they are borderline ASD.

The 6'3" prince that is kind, good looking, incredibly muscular, and a doctor is not coming for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- I’m white, it seems that makes a difference? And I would say the men that tend to be at least somewhat into me are extremely nerdy, borderline ASD white men or south Asian men, almost all work in engineering/tech. I kind of realized I may be a back up for these men, as they probably don’t get a lot of attention. I tend to not get involved with the south Asian men because I feel like they’re fetishizing me for being white. Though I am nerdy and into nerdy men, I just don’t know, nobody ever seems super into me.

Let me give you some old lady advice - sometimes you need to like people that like you. I am not saying you need to settle, but you DO need to be realistic.

You have listed a group of people that are into you, and you have come up with excuses not to date them. And you basically mean socially awkward...which doesn't necessarily mean they are borderline ASD.

The 6'3" prince that is kind, good looking, incredibly muscular, and a doctor is not coming for you.

OP: I’m fine dating socially awkward men, it’s actually a preference as I’m kind of awkward. And a few of them have told me they have ASD. It’s just that they don’t seem that into me and I end up having to be initiator for almost everything. Because of my weight, I then assume it’s a relationship of convenience on their part. I’ve also had one of these type of men literally tell he was not physically attracted to me, which dampened my self esteem for the future.

[Anonymous]

Doesn’t matter if it’s only 1% or 20% of men who will consider dating her, those men will be broken or unattractive themselves in some way.

[Anonymous]

Nobody has addressed the most important issue here - does she have huge tiddies? Not always true in obese women, and that can make up for a lot.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'd concentrate on getting healthy and building your self esteem now. You are right - you are attracting creeps or the ones you like are not available right now. You don't need heartbreak now.

[Anonymous]

My friend is big and found a wonderful man on Hinge. He’s older, divorced with a kid but she likes him a lot, they’re getting married. She started the Keto diet after meeting him, she’s still big but making progress.

All of this to say put yourself put there, don’t eliminate prospects based on prejudgements. I too get a lot of attention from South Indian men but I vet and choose who I go out with.

[Anonymous]

What is OLD? I even googled it and could not find what it is. Also, why are South Asian men interested in heavier woman? I have not found that to be true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is OLD? I even googled it and could not find what it is. Also, why are South Asian men interested in heavier woman? I have not found that to be true.

A lot of South Asian men are attracted to the ‘white’ part of the equation. That’s a thing in India (for instance); skin color being equated to desirability. I figured it’s leftover from colonialism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is OLD? I even googled it and could not find what it is. Also, why are South Asian men interested in heavier woman? I have not found that to be true.

A lot of South Asian men are attracted to the ‘white’ part of the equation. That’s a thing in India (for instance); skin color being equated to desirability. I figured it’s leftover from colonialism.

No, it's because of the caste system, which has been around for thousands of years. Higher caste people tend to be lighter, especially in South India.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is OLD? I even googled it and could not find what it is. Also, why are South Asian men interested in heavier woman? I have not found that to be true.

A lot of South Asian men are attracted to the ‘white’ part of the equation. That’s a thing in India (for instance); skin color being equated to desirability. I figured it’s leftover from colonialism.

No, it's because of the caste system, which has been around for thousands of years. Higher caste people tend to be lighter, especially in South India.

This is not what OP needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- I’m white, it seems that makes a difference? And I would say the men that tend to be at least somewhat into me are extremely nerdy, borderline ASD white men or south Asian men, almost all work in engineering/tech. I kind of realized I may be a back up for these men, as they probably don’t get a lot of attention. I tend to not get involved with the south Asian men because I feel like they’re fetishizing me for being white. Though I am nerdy and into nerdy men, I just don’t know, nobody ever seems super into me.

Let me give you some old lady advice - sometimes you need to like people that like you. I am not saying you need to settle, but you DO need to be realistic.

You have listed a group of people that are into you, and you have come up with excuses not to date them. And you basically mean socially awkward...which doesn't necessarily mean they are borderline ASD.

The 6'3" prince that is kind, good looking, incredibly muscular, and a doctor is not coming for you.

OP: I’m fine dating socially awkward men, it’s actually a preference as I’m kind of awkward. And a few of them have told me they have ASD. It’s just that they don’t seem that into me and I end up having to be initiator for almost everything. Because of my weight, I then assume it’s a relationship of convenience on their part. I’ve also had one of these type of men literally tell he was not physically attracted to me, which dampened my self esteem for the future.

Do it. I know an American dude of south asian descent who married a grumbly, obese, woman with three kids which weren't his. Made a lot of money too-I think some second generation South Asian-American make solid incomes and come from a culture with female gods, prime ministers, philosophers, etc.

[Anonymous]

If she ain’t 280, she ain’t a lady!