WFH Frustrations

[Anonymous]

Make daycare arrangements.

[Anonymous]

What do you mean he can’t deal with her there?

[Anonymous]

Agree with the PP who said to set a schedule in advance. When we think school is going to be canceled the next day, we take a few minutes the night before to review our schedules and come up with a plan for who is responsible for the kids during what times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make daycare arrangements.

Lol she’s SIX

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean he can’t deal with her there?

Basically if I’m not there, there’s issues because he gets pissed if she needs anything and she gets borderline neglected

[Anonymous]

Tell him to shape up or ship out.

[Anonymous]

So, yes, he’s acting like a baby.

But my husband and I have both realized - we can’t parent and work simultaneously. Now, our kid is a bit younger. But still. We can’t do it. We end up sucking at both and feeling like crap. So - I think one problem here might be that you can and so you assume he can/should be able to as well.

Well, guess what? He can’t.

If you accept that, then you can figure out where to go from here. If he has other good qualities and you can do this, then WFH when she’s home like this, knowing you won’t get help. And have him pick up slack in other areas. Or, insist that he take a sick day or PTO. Or, use a strict schedule. Can he work from 9-1, then watch her, then work from 8pm-11pm? Or catch up on work on the weekends (when you are watching her)? Is there a neighborhood kid that you could arrange a switch with? Maybe he would take a PTO day to watch both kids in exchange for the neighbor watch both the next time? Or some combo of these four?

I just think treating this like a practical problem will help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have had terrible winter weather + Covid issues at school lately. So school has been very intermittent lately. DH and I both work full time. He’s full time WFH, I’m in the office most days. We have one DD, 6. DH just cannot handle WFH with her there. So that means I usually also WFH when DD has to be home. Not huge deal, I can WFH, flexible company, no issues there.

The problem is DH. He just cannot adapt his schedule at all to stagger having DD home or come do anything with her at all during the day. She’s pretty self sufficient for 6, but there’s lots of “I’m borrrrred” When I WFH when she’s home, I get up early to get a jump start on what I know is going to be a hectic day. Usually working by 6am, she gets up around 7:30. Today DH slept in till 8:30 and has just generally been pissy about her presence. I had one call (out of many!!) today where I just absolutely could not be bothered during and he refused to leave his office and hang with her while I locked myself in our bedroom to take the call. I don’t have a private space to work in the house since I’m mostly in the office.

I’m just so mad and annoyed today. He keeps saying “I don’t have time for this today” Well guess what, I don’t either but I’m making her lunch and helping with a toy while on a conference call, so I don’t know, deal with it?? FWIW we are equal breadwinners, but mine is a leadership role (I manage most aspects of our business while still being a project manager). I’m on the phone constantly, while he’s on the phone a couple hours a day. It seems so blatant that he’s not pulling his weight.

Hopefully come spring and less crap weather and Covid, this won’t be a thing, but would you say something?? I’ve made some comments but not directly addressed it. And god willing, he will go back to the office part time in March

Whyy the was your daughter not able to entertain herself during that one call? If your child needs constant attention/supervision, you need a back-up childcare plan for school closures because if neither of you has the flexibility to take off completely those days.

[Anonymous]

Agree with both of the posts above. One of you should take a half-day off to spend time with her. The rest of the day can be split between screen time and independent play/reading time. I am a woman but I would not be able to concentrate on work with my children bugging me. That is why we kept our nanny FT

[Anonymous]

Why don’t people hire babysitters for days like this? I keep a list of people with availability during the weekday.

[Anonymous]

Remember? 5 contingency plans, no less otherwise you aren’t competent to hold down a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t people hire babysitters for days like this? I keep a list of people with availability during the weekday.

How do you have a whole list of people just waiting by the phone to babysit for you? That sounds magical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make daycare arrangements.

Lol she’s SIX

Doesn’t her school have childcare? Most do for before/after/summer and random days off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t people hire babysitters for days like this? I keep a list of people with availability during the weekday.

How do you have a whole list of people just waiting by the phone to babysit for you? That sounds magical.

Right?? The weather was so bad here Wednesday that no babysitter was coming to watch my kid. C’mon

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make daycare arrangements.

Lol she’s SIX

Doesn’t her school have childcare? Most do for before/after/summer and random days off.

Not when they close for Covid Or inclement weather. They do for a scheduled day off, which none of these were