Why would you want to bring a girl to family dinner?

[Anonymous]

There are a number of possible explanations and we don’t know enough about your bil to judge between them.

What is he like otherwise? Is he close to your brother? Is he cheap? Does he retain romantic notions about family that he is trying to maintain? Is he a player or does he think each new girl could be the one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s bored and wants someone to entertain him and shied him from annoying questions and conversations. Instead you’ll talk to the girlfriend.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You seem obsessed with the idea that he should introduce women to his mother. But you said he's not close with his mother.

I am not obsessed with anything. I don’t want to host random people at my house. I don’t want to scramble to feed extra adults.

I just was wondering if he is trying to get free food or what. Like you date for a few weeks and bring them to my house. WTF.[/quote



Come on, OP. You are being naive. This is the “you know my family” game that players play.

Lol. Puke.

[Anonymous]

It's weird that you're so bothered by it. Why does it matter to you? I could see if he was married and bringing his sidechicks to your home, but this is just dumb.

[Anonymous]

I guess I’m not understanding why it bothers you so much. Are you feeling put out because you have to share your food? I guess it would be annoying if he didn’t tell you in advance so you didn’t have to opportunity to prepare..is that it?

[Anonymous]

He just like randomly shows up? I would say "Hi Bill, how nice to see you! We were just about to take the kids to Chuck E. Cheese-- want to come along?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's weird that you're so bothered by it. Why does it matter to you? I could see if he was married and bringing his sidechicks to your home, but this is just dumb.

Yeah. Who doesn’t have relatives with new dates always stopping by your household of four during Covid and demanding you cook, feed and entertain them for an evening.
So cool.

He’s like OPs constant surprise charity case.

[Anonymous]

What does your DH think about it? Not to be blunt, but why is this your problem? If you your BIL is dropping by on a Tuesday night out of the blue looking for dinner and bringing a guest with him and your DH sees no problem with it - cool, your DH would be responsible for figuring out how to feed brother and the date and like pp said, I would be polite but not trying to lead the conversation. If you are hosting family dinners with yours ILs and BIL is bringing a date with him, again your DH should be the one stepping up if there is an issue.

It doesn’t really matter why for the BIL, it’s why aren’t you and DH on the same page.

[Anonymous]

Wait, if your BIL is not invited, how does he know when to show up for a family dinner? SOMEONE is telling him. Who?

[Anonymous]

He is bringing a date, a companion. You probably should give up hosting altogether: You aren’t cut out for it.

[Anonymous]

Couldn’t you just enjoy his date without being judgmental? I don’t understand why this annoys you. Don’t be so narrow minded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think he brings the girlfriend because he doesn't want to have any personal conversations and the food is free.

Bingo!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Couldn’t you just enjoy his date without being judgmental? I don’t understand why this annoys you. Don’t be so narrow minded.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Couldn’t you just enjoy his date without being judgmental? I don’t understand why this annoys you. Don’t be so narrow minded.

I have 3 kids and busy. No, I don’t want to enjoy his date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You seem obsessed with the idea that he should introduce women to his mother. But you said he's not close with his mother.

Right. You guys are his closest family. He doesn’t have a relationship with his parents. You want him to fake it? I really don’t understand why you have a problem. Unless he is bringing over drugged out sex workers, what is the big deal? If the women are generally nice and normal, it is the same as inviting a friend with him. He wants to have a family connection and you guys are it.