"Um, I'm on a really important work call" - he says, half naked in our bathroom

[Anonymous]

Women, in general, need to learn how to let go small things. I am this sounds so petty to me. Come on OP. Do better. Be better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are 100% wrong. I hate when people come in the bathroom to ask me questions. Just wait 10 minutes unless you are dying or the house is on fire.

OP here, and to be clear this is a large master bathroom and the door was not closed. I've never in my life waited until he was out of the bathroom to come in.

Well then, that's on him. Tell him if he is going to get pissy with you for coming in, he should lock the door.

[Anonymous]

You only have 1 bathroom.

Let it go lady.

[Anonymous]

He's ridiculous and this world is ridiculous. I would just laugh at him, tell your best friend, and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be annoyed as well. I wouldn't expect my spouse to be on a work call in the bathroom.

What I expect from my spouse is to have some privacy for 10-15 it takes me to poop and shower.

Agreed. But all that goes out the window if you leave the door open.

Leaving the door open is the universal signal that it’s okay for someone to come in the room. Leaving the door open is the universal signal that you do NOT need privacy. Basically, you can’t have it both ways.

I do not enter our bathroom if my DH is in there without some verbal question. My DH does not enter the bathroom when I am in there without some verbal question. I would lose my mind if he did that all the time.

Really?

I close the door when I want privacy. I teach my children the same thing. I can’t imagine going to bathroom with the door open and getting mad that someone walked in on me and violated my privacy. That seems so bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are 100% wrong. I hate when people come in the bathroom to ask me questions. Just wait 10 minutes unless you are dying or the house is on fire.

OP here, and to be clear this is a large master bathroom and the door was not closed. I've never in my life waited until he was out of the bathroom to come in.

Well then, that's on him. Tell him if he is going to get pissy with you for coming in, he should lock the door.

Yes he could’ve handled it differently. A quick I’m on the phone gesture would have avoided all of this. He was likely feeling overwhelmed but no excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be annoyed as well. I wouldn't expect my spouse to be on a work call in the bathroom.

What I expect from my spouse is to have some privacy for 10-15 it takes me to poop and shower.

Agreed. But all that goes out the window if you leave the door open.

Leaving the door open is the universal signal that it’s okay for someone to come in the room. Leaving the door open is the universal signal that you do NOT need privacy. Basically, you can’t have it both ways.

I do not enter our bathroom if my DH is in there without some verbal question. My DH does not enter the bathroom when I am in there without some verbal question. I would lose my mind if he did that all the time.

Really?

I close the door when I want privacy. I teach my children the same thing. I can’t imagine going to bathroom with the door open and getting mad that someone walked in on me and violated my privacy. That seems so bizarre.

I don't always close the door if I assume no one is coming to the bedroom that is attached to the bathroom. I also often open the door after a shower because of steam. If one of us sees the other person is in the bathroom, we will say, are you busy or can I come in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be annoyed as well. I wouldn't expect my spouse to be on a work call in the bathroom.

What I expect from my spouse is to have some privacy for 10-15 it takes me to poop and shower.

Agreed. But all that goes out the window if you leave the door open.

Leaving the door open is the universal signal that it’s okay for someone to come in the room. Leaving the door open is the universal signal that you do NOT need privacy. Basically, you can’t have it both ways.

I do not enter our bathroom if my DH is in there without some verbal question. My DH does not enter the bathroom when I am in there without some verbal question. I would lose my mind if he did that all the time.

Really?

I close the door when I want privacy. I teach my children the same thing. I can’t imagine going to bathroom with the door open and getting mad that someone walked in on me and violated my privacy. That seems so bizarre.

In most bathrooms in the house this is the case I agree. The door is open I assume it is empty. In my master bath there is kind of a hallway before you get to the main bathroom bathroom, and since that hallway/wall provides an element of privacy, I usually make sure to announce myself in some way if I have any reason to suspect he is in there. I would be absolutely mortified to have someone walk in on my pooping or something and my DH knows this and accepts that we need just that tiny bit of mystery between us.

[Anonymous]

Take a deep breath - it is a cold Monday in the longest WFH stretch ever. While I agree he did not need to be so dramatic, I also feel like the bathroom is one place I like to not be disturbed.

[Anonymous]

I'm so happy I live alone.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have no idea why you posted here other than you must not have any friends. This is such a non issue but you're trying to make it one. Move on and find something useful to do in your life.

[Anonymous]

In our house DH and I also leave the master bathroom doors open. There is a separate room just for the toilet and we close that door when we are using it. We talk while the other is showering all the time and are both fine with that. So if that’s the status quo and you didn’t hear him talking to someone, that’s on him. DH likes to move around when he’s on calls, but he shuts himself in the bedroom or basement. We all know not to open the door at those times.

That being said, I’d let it go, but ask him to close the door when he doesn’t want to be disturbed.

[Anonymous]

I think some people here have very different house set ups if they are getting so hung up on the bathroom issue.

We have a powder room with a separate door, but you have to cross the big bathroom to get into it. The big bathroom has his-and-her sinks and a shower.

We basically have zero expectation of privacy in the big bathroom. i am assuming this is similar to what you are talking about.

Overall though this is just one of those we've-all-been-cooped-up-working-together-too-long things. I'd try to let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the middle of the day my husband was standing in our bathroom, half naked, putting on deodorant because he'd just gotten out of the shower. He also had his air pods in. I quietly asked him a quick question about what he was doing, partially with words and partially with a gesture, because *I* wanted to use our bathroom. And he reacts to me by pulling out one air pod and saying in a dismissive, annoyed-as-hell voice, "Um, I'm on a really important work call," - like, how dare you disturb me right now, I'm obviously working.

WTF?

He got off his call and I tried to approach it in a joking manner - like, you can forgive me for not realizing you couldn't be disturbed - and he saw no humor in it. In his mind, I should have magically known not to disturb him. Even when he's standing in OUR bathroom, and I'm trying to figure out if he's going to be in there for long because I have to pee. In my bathroom.

God I'm annoyed and I really want to hear from others that my annoyance is justified.

You were the rude one for going into the bathroom while he was in there. Don't you have another bathroom?

Also, no, I wouldn't be annoyed. I would roll my eyes and keep it moving .There are way more important things to worry about. The fact it is still bothering you enough that you wanted to post to see if people take your side tells me a lot!

[Anonymous]

OP, this thread is taking off in the direction of everyone's preferences and routines and home layouts etc. and questions re: Is an open door a universal sign it's OK to enter, should one use "verbal questions" first (aren't they all going to be verbal, unless you pass your spouse a note through the open doorway while averting your gaze?) etc. etc.

People are missing the larger issue here! WTF is it with people who take WORK calls in the bathroom?If they were in an office they wouldn't be trailing around with their airpods in, doing work calls in the office bathroom, flushing sounds and water sounds and all -- would they? Were people that insane before the pandemic when offices were a thing?

I realize not everyone has a dedicated, private office in their homes. Fine. But you can still pick a place, or a couple of places, inside your home where you do take and make work calls and do your work, and leave the freaking bathrooms and one's own bedroom out of that equation. It's just civilized. It lets everyone in the household have better separation between work spaces and living spaces, and between work time and non-work time.

My DH works in our dining room. He takes and makes a lot of calls. It would never even occur to him to take phone into or wear airpods in the bathroom. If someone calls in the very short time he's in there, he will do that very old-fashioned thing of actually calling them back, because--bathroom. Call of nature. But your DH was showering, not using the toilet--why was he doing that if this was such a "really importat call? He should have taken (or made) the call somewhere he could give it his full attention, not half-ass it while he's drying off. Yes, OP, you are right to be pi$$ed with him. He's letting work spill into places where it's ridiculous to let work happen. And expects you to read his mind too. .

This is the kind of always on call, "no boundaries between work and home" problem that is a huge negative about WFH, but it can be resolved if people pick places where work is off limits. Like bathrooms.

There is a recent thread here where the DW is peeved with the DH wandering all over the house including into their bedroom, where she does her own work during the day, while he's talking on calls. Is that you, by any chance, OP? I think both you and she need to tell these guys that the entire house is not one big office space for them.