WARNING - DD filmed by two older men in Plaza America Reston Starbucks

[Anonymous]

My 18-year-old DD would have kicked him in the shins. Then in the balls.

[Anonymous]

It’s not illegal to photograph a person without their permission in a place without a reasonable expectation of privacy.

A private business that is a place of public accommodation does not offer a reasonable expectation of privacy. Period.

The person recording video was doing nothing illegal.

Your daughter was also being recorded at the same time by the CCTV security cameras within the Starbucks. And virtually every time she goes into a business, most of which have cameras and constantly record everyone within the space.


People can take your picture or record you in a public space.

Get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 18-year-old DD would have kicked him in the shins. Then in the balls.

And then she’d have a criminal record.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 18-year-old DD would have kicked him in the shins. Then in the balls.

Well then you’ve raised a low intellect, hyper aggressive imbecile…..congrats!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not illegal to photograph a person without their permission in a place without a reasonable expectation of privacy.

A private business that is a place of public accommodation does not offer a reasonable expectation of privacy. Period.

The person recording video was doing nothing illegal.

Your daughter was also being recorded at the same time by the CCTV security cameras within the Starbucks. And virtually every time she goes into a business, most of which have cameras and constantly record everyone within the space.


People can take your picture or record you in a public space.

Get over it.

Yeah, but she would be one of hundreds in the week's store recordings, not fodder for some pervert's spank bank.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your 25 year old daughter couldn’t figure out what to do without your help? Yikes.

It is really disturbing that a 25 year old’s first instinct when faced with a troubling situation was to text her mother. What has happened to this generation?

Also, it’s creepy and gross but not a crime to film in public. Calling the police was not the right advice.

Meh, not OP but I don't think it's disturbing. I'm 46, but in my 20s I had many strange men make me nervous in public. Women are conditioned to not rankle men or make them uncomfortable so I would tolerate it - try to not rock the boat - then after the encounter I'd always regret it. I used to feel horrible about it until social media in the last 10 years introduced me to a ton of feminists who would call out and label this behavior as totally normal survival skills.

I'd love to think a 25 year old woman would go over and call these guys out - but in the moment it's normal to freeze.

I don’t think it’s disturbing that they didn’t confront the men. Clearly that is not usually going to be your safest bet. But it is a bit disturbing that they didn’t go over to staff or call the police themselves first. They aren’t 17, they are 25.

NP. And at 25 they likely, unfortunately, know that confronting these men could lead to the men waiting in the parking lot to follow them when they leave.

It's appalling that so many posters here are saying it's "disturbing" etc. that the young women did not know what to do in a moment of stress and confusion. I guess these PPs are always perfectly composed and ready to engage with creeps, and have no concerns about what else could happen afterward.

As a more reasonable PP noted, it's easy to freeze in the moment. The adult DD must have a good relationship with her mom, to contact mom in that moment. People need to stop piling on as if it's the DD and not the creeps who were in the wrong. These guys could be filming to do who knows what with the images. A friend's adult DD ended up with her face used by someone on Facebook as their own picture. People do strange and potentially damaging things with images now, as the DD surely knows. Two men filming like that probably had something other than Facebook face-stealing in mind, too. At a minimum they were enjoying the fact the DD was sitting there getting creeped out. They knew they were making her uncomfortable in that moment and got off on it.

The barista deserves not only a tip, OP, but also please advise your DD to contact the manager of that Starbucks ASAP and heap praise and thanks on that barista (even if she doesn't know the barista's name). Lots of praise. It benefits the wonderful barista and will encourage others who work there to remember this and be ready to help when things like this happen.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry this happened to your Dd. I think her calling you is fine, though maybe your advice ought to have been a bit different. She needs to be taught how to handle these situations. If she did not want to call the police then she could either confront the men or leave. I would have turned my camera onto them.

Getting the male barista involved doesn’t sit well with me. It’s not his place to tell customers to delete footage from their phone. That could escalate the situation and I’m glad he was not hurt. She could ask him to be a witness as she confronted the man but not get him to be her voice. She needs to feel empowered enough to use her own voice. This will, sadly, not be the last time a man will make her uncomfortable or cross her boundaries, teach her to speak up for herself.

[Anonymous]

The “get over it” poster must be men. They have no idea what it’s like to be viewed as prey on a weekly basis your entire life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 18-year-old DD would have kicked him in the shins. Then in the balls.

Well then you’ve raised a low intellect, hyper aggressive imbecile…..congrats!

I was the same way when I was young. Women have to be careful because men don't like when we defend ourselves. One guy tried to punch me in the face when I cussed him out for grabbing my rear. If not for the men who held him back, my jaw would've surely been broken.

[Anonymous]

So did the men confirm they were actually filming your daughter? What did they do next?

That sounds very creepy, but also, what exactly are they going to do with footage of 25 year old women drinking coffee at starbucks? Not rhetorical question - genuinely curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry this happened to your Dd. I think her calling you is fine, though maybe your advice ought to have been a bit different. She needs to be taught how to handle these situations. If she did not want to call the police then she could either confront the men or leave. I would have turned my camera onto them.

Getting the male barista involved doesn’t sit well with me. It’s not his place to tell customers to delete footage from their phone. That could escalate the situation and I’m glad he was not hurt. She could ask him to be a witness as she confronted the man but not get him to be her voice. She needs to feel empowered enough to use her own voice. This will, sadly, not be the last time a man will make her uncomfortable or cross her boundaries, teach her to speak up for herself.

Are you male or female? These entitled men don't take women seriously, which is why we need other men to assist us. If they took us seriously, they wouldn't violate us in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not illegal to photograph a person without their permission in a place without a reasonable expectation of privacy.

A private business that is a place of public accommodation does not offer a reasonable expectation of privacy. Period.

The person recording video was doing nothing illegal.

Your daughter was also being recorded at the same time by the CCTV security cameras within the Starbucks. And virtually every time she goes into a business, most of which have cameras and constantly record everyone within the space.


People can take your picture or record you in a public space.

Get over it.

Not OP, but -- if you can't see, or won't see, the difference between CCTV security filming and what this jerk was doing, you are seriously twisted.

Your post comes across like a defense of these pervs.

Sure, it's not illegal to record in public spaces. But "not illegal" is the lowest possible bar for behavior. I wonder what else you justify as OK because, hey, it's not illegal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The “get over it” poster must be men. They have no idea what it’s like to be viewed as prey on a weekly basis your entire life.

Eh, I think you’re flattering yourself. No one is thinking of you as “prey” every week, drama llama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The “get over it” poster must be men. They have no idea what it’s like to be viewed as prey on a weekly basis your entire life.

Eh, I think you’re flattering yourself. No one is thinking of you as “prey” every week, drama llama.

Some girls and women are preyed on daily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your 25 year old daughter couldn’t figure out what to do without your help? Yikes.

I wouldn't have known exactly what to do and I'm 34.

Really? How about just get up and leave. OP is a hysterical loon.

+1. I opened this thread assuming the DD was a young teen. She is a fully grown woman

I also have a hard time believing that the tough-guy bartender demanded that the guys delete the recording, and they complied