How to address family with different last names on holiday card?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I forgot I have an even trickier one.

Mom and kids are hyphenated Smith-Jones. Dad just has his original last name Jones but didn't add the hyphen.

Is Smith/Jones still acceptable here? Or do I do the Smith-Jones Family with a hypen instead, but that sort of ignores dad?

In that case I do "Smith Jones Family" and allow them to either think the lack of hyphen was on purpose or by accident! Either way bases covered and no one really insulted.

I also privately think dad is a jerk for not just hyphenating his name like everyone else is. They all have to take his name but he can't add his wife's name? Come on, dude.

Lol, seriously.

To answer your question OP, we have the same set up as the family your'e asking about. I'm Larla Kim and DH and the kids are Larlo, Larlito and Larlita Park. I would do "Park/Kim family", but also, I personally am not offended by things addressed to "The Park Family" and in conversation I often refer to our family as "the Parks". The only thing that really annoys me is people who should know better (ie not strangers or people who only know me through my kids) straight up getting my last name wrong and directly calling me Larla Park. IMO as long as you don't do that you're good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is how my family is set up and any of the options people have listed so far would be fine for me. I am not picky.

The only unacceptable option for me is to simply ignore the fact that I have a different name and do something like "The Jones Family" (if I"m the Smith) or "Mr. and Mrs. Jones and Family" or whatever. When I get stuff addressed that way, I do feel kind of erased.

Also, something a lot of people may not realize is that my kids have my last name, but as their middle names. So it's not actually accurate to say the kids all have their dad's name -- they may have their mom's name or another family name, it's just not their surname.

That doesn't count. Middle names are throwaway names. For all intents and purposes, the kids do not have your name.

[Anonymous]

I would just use first names and throw in the dog for good measure

[Anonymous]

This is our set up too. Another option is just Larlo Smith and Larla Jones. You can add "and family" at the end if you want. But is anyone really going to be offended with not explicitly acknowledging the kids in the holiday card? aren't the cards really just for adults anyhow?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is how my family is set up and any of the options people have listed so far would be fine for me. I am not picky.

The only unacceptable option for me is to simply ignore the fact that I have a different name and do something like "The Jones Family" (if I"m the Smith) or "Mr. and Mrs. Jones and Family" or whatever. When I get stuff addressed that way, I do feel kind of erased.

Also, something a lot of people may not realize is that my kids have my last name, but as their middle names. So it's not actually accurate to say the kids all have their dad's name -- they may have their mom's name or another family name, it's just not their surname.

That doesn't count. Middle names are throwaway names. For all intents and purposes, the kids do not have your name.

NP. Lol, no. I go by my full name (first + middle + last) in all formal and professional situations specifically in order to honor my grandfather whose first name is my middle name.

does that mean I insist on getting Christmas cards addressed with my full name? no. but it's also not a "throwaway" just because you personally don't use yours.

[Anonymous]

We are: one parent Smith, one parent Jones, child Smith-Jones.

We get Smith/Jones, Smith Jones, Smith-Jones, Mary Smith and family, etc. All are fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is how my family is set up and any of the options people have listed so far would be fine for me. I am not picky.

The only unacceptable option for me is to simply ignore the fact that I have a different name and do something like "The Jones Family" (if I"m the Smith) or "Mr. and Mrs. Jones and Family" or whatever. When I get stuff addressed that way, I do feel kind of erased.

Also, something a lot of people may not realize is that my kids have my last name, but as their middle names. So it's not actually accurate to say the kids all have their dad's name -- they may have their mom's name or another family name, it's just not their surname.

We're the same and agree that the only thing that would be rude would be to entirely ignore my last name (like my in-laws every time). Other than that, any combo is fine.

[Anonymous]

Too much drama. My brother in law (wife’s brother) has a kooky wife who hyphenated her last name. Think

John Smith and Ann Smith-Jones.

What did I do with that? I just written the Smith Family in envelope and first names inside

[Anonymous]

I have a different last name than DH, kids have my last name as middle and his as last. Any of these options are fine, and personally I couldn't care less if people addressed us as "The DHlastname Family." I also don't care if people who don't know call me Mrs. DHlastname. My husband has also gotten Mr. Mylastname It really doesn't matter!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Too much drama. My brother in law (wife’s brother) has a kooky wife who hyphenated her last name. Think

John Smith and Ann Smith-Jones.

What did I do with that? I just written the Smith Family in envelope and first names inside

There's nothing kooky or drama about this, except for the drama you are creating in your mind.

[Anonymous]

My parents were married for 45 years until my dad died and every single member of his family always addresses things to my mom as Mrs. Smith even though she kept her last name AND they made the mutual decision to give me her last name because his name was a challenge to pronounce and spell. Even when he died last year she received condolence cards to Mrs Jane Smith and sometimes even to Mrs. John Smith, even though her name is Jane Jones.

I decided as a kid that I would change my name to my husband’s when I got married because it was easier for us all to have the same last name, but I use both last names for work, so I’m Anna Jones Brown in my work life and Anna Brown socially. My kids are Larlo & Larla Brown.

I address most families with multiple last names as the Smith Jones family or the Smith/Jones family. Would never forget one name. We even have some friends who each kept their last name and gave their child a complete different last name, in that case they would be the Smith/Jones/Brown family on a card from me.

[Anonymous]

If I know the names FOR SURE, I would say, "Anna Smith, Greg Jones and family"

If I'm not sure, but, say, Anna is my friend so I am sure about her name, I might just say "Anna Smith and family"

[Anonymous]

The Smith/Jones family is fine.

[Anonymous]

Slash is fine. If one is hyphenated, maybe "The Jones-Smith and Smith Family."

My friends who knew me before marriage make sure to include my hyphenation. Newer friends ignore it completely, and that bugs me.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I have different last names and he thinks it's funny when people send something to "the xxx family", using my last name.