How old is too old to adopt as a single woman?

[Anonymous]

Do you already have kids? I’m 46 and a single parent of a 16 yr old. I’m exhausted and I cannot imagine starting at this now and going for 18 years. You’d better have a ton of money and/or family help.

[Anonymous]

Go for it, just make sure you have someone as a back up in case something happens but something could happen in your 20's or 70's.

[Anonymous]

If you truly want to be a Mother, go for it ASAP. As others have noted the more savings you have the easier the next 20 years will be. Realize you may have to push back retirement and change your lifestyle. Again, if becoming a Mother is something you desperately want / these other things will be worth it. A friend in a similar situation moved closer to her parents and they extra help has been priceless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It will definitely be easier to adopt an older child. Most people want to adopt an infant. It all depends on what the birth mother values most. She may or may not prefer a married couple.

It will be far easier to adopt Internationally than Domestically in your situation.

But most counties have a rule about the maximum distance (age-wise) between the child and the parent. Get researching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:46 is great go for it.

I think it comes down to how old will they be when u die.

If you die at 80 they will be in their 30’s

But OP has no idea how old she will be when she dies. The day after she adopts she could get into a car accident and die.

That is true of everyone. At least adoptive parents have to have a letter from a doctor. Birth parents do not.

[Anonymous]

A 46-year-old single parent looking to buy an infant through a private placement? Disgusting.

[Anonymous]

I adopted a 1 year old when I was 43. That was 20 years ago. It has worked out well.

I did have a serious health scare when she was 5 though, which was terrifying. Also, taking her to and from college (the moves) are hard at this age, but mostly it has gone very smoothly.

She is my joy, that is for sure!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My preference is to adopt an infant. Is this realistic at age 46? Fully prepared to pay for a private placement and birth mother's expenses.

You are too old. Children are a lot of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you truly want to be a Mother, go for it ASAP. As others have noted the more savings you have the easier the next 20 years will be. Realize you may have to push back retirement and change your lifestyle. Again, if becoming a Mother is something you desperately want / these other things will be worth it. A friend in a similar situation moved closer to her parents and they extra help has been priceless.

This is good advice. I have three friends who adopted children as single moms in their 40s. It's not for the faint of heart.

[Anonymous]

Just gave birth at 47 so you are not too old. And it is great being a parent!

That being said adoption is hard. Agencies have age cut offs and some limit single parents. There are not many babies available. And it can take a lot of time. https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2021/10/adopt-baby-cost-process-hard/620258/

I personally felt that baby adoption was too fraught with potential unethical situations and did not feel equipped or like I would be the best parent of an older child who had gone through developmental trauma (definitely felt I needed a partner to be up for that.).

Age is the least of the barriers . (My grandmother also gave birth at 47 (her 3rd) and my aunts adopted a toddler in their early fifties.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has Covid made it easier or harder to adopt? Are there less babies for adoption or more?

Overall birth rate is down and fewer adoptive placements are occurring- many agencies are closing their infant programs to new applicants.

[Anonymous]

Would you be open to pregnancy via an egg or embryo donor?

Adoption can take a long time. I know single friends who started the process at 45 and are still waiting at 47, 48.

A donor may be a faster path to becoming a parent, especially if you are worried about your age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will definitely be easier to adopt an older child. Most people want to adopt an infant. It all depends on what the birth mother values most. She may or may not prefer a married couple.

It will be far easier to adopt Internationally than Domestically in your situation.

But most counties have a rule about the maximum distance (age-wise) between the child and the parent. Get researching.

Sorry, this should have read “countries” not “counties”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 46-year-old single parent looking to buy an infant through a private placement? Disgusting.

You are ignorant and hurtful.

There are babies who will have a better life if they are raised by an adult instead of a teen, by someone who is not addicted to drugs, by someone who wanted to parent them, etc.

[Anonymous]

Some agencies will work with you. Some birth parents may not want to place with you. Be prepared for a long wait (everyone in private adoption should be, but you more than others) and have good savings and plans for who will take care of your child if you become incapacitated while they are a minor. And really think about this--if your kid has fetal alcohol syndrome or bipolar disorder or attachment issues or learning disabilities, who in your life is able to take that on and will love your kid like you would? If you don't have someone, don't adopt. And that's not just about your age, but something true for all adoptive parents, especially single ones.