How old is too old to adopt as a single woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I adopted a newborn at 49 and am loving every single moment of it. I have more disposable income to spend on my family and more patience than I did when I was younger. You have time to adopt more than 1 child or a sibling group. I wish you the best. You have a big heart!

I spent about six years and over a hundred grand trying to conceive as a single mother. I did initially want to adopt but was told, as a few posters did here, that it would be faster and cheaper to try to get pregnant. It's been a few years since that chapter of my life ended, and I'd made peace with it. But I still occasionally think about adoption. I'm 46 and figured I was just way too old. So your comment made me happy. I think I'd prefer to adopt an older child, perhaps a tween or teen.

Go for it. Don’t listen to those here.

[Anonymous]

I adopted a nine month old infant internationally when I was 48. I started the process at 45. My DD is now in last semester of college. I’m 70 and still working full time. For me it was definitely the right path and my DD has thrived, but from the start, it has taken significant financial support. I needed a nanny, at first live in. Though not a special needs adoption, my DD turned out to have very complex medical needs and had surgery as an infant that required round the clock care for almost a year. My family helped financially that year so I could hire extra help. As someone else posted, we frequently applied for financial aid at schools, camps, and she got generous scholarships to a great college. I have worked hard over the years to weave a network of close ties for my DD with extended family and close family friends so she will have that family context as I age. Would it have been better to have been younger? Certainly, but this has been our path, filled with love, challenge, joy and resilience.

[Anonymous]

I adopted a newborn at age 46. She just turned 8. Best thing i ever did!!!

[Anonymous]

Just be a foster parent. You ate too old. You would be 60 with a teenager. That's hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 46-year-old single parent looking to buy an infant through a private placement? Disgusting.

You are ignorant and hurtful.

There are babies who will have a better life if they are raised by an adult instead of a teen, by someone who is not addicted to drugs, by someone who wanted to parent them, etc.

There are plenty of people who want to adopt babies. The choice is not birth parent vs. OP. It's OP vs another adoptive parent, who may be younger and have a partner (which may or may not mean healthier with a wider support network). OP needs to consider her health and finances and support network.

Yep and adoption always giving the child a better life is an outdated narrative. A lot of birth mothered are coerced due to poverty not because they are unfit mothers.

[Anonymous]

Why not adopt an older child?

[Anonymous]

I started adoption process at 46. Toddler came to live with me when I was 48. Yes, I have sometimes been called the grandma. She’s now 14. I might retire while she’s in high school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 46-year-old single parent looking to buy an infant through a private placement? Disgusting.

You are ignorant and hurtful.

There are babies who will have a better life if they are raised by an adult instead of a teen, by someone who is not addicted to drugs, by someone who wanted to parent them, etc.

There are plenty of people who want to adopt babies. The choice is not birth parent vs. OP. It's OP vs another adoptive parent, who may be younger and have a partner (which may or may not mean healthier with a wider support network). OP needs to consider her health and finances and support network.

Yep and adoption always giving the child a better life is an outdated narrative. A lot of birth mothered are coerced due to poverty not because they are unfit mothers.

The adoption industry is so sick. I’m glad there is more awareness around it than there used to be. And, yes, I do think adoption can be necessary but rich people buying infants is gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not adopt an older child?

Because she doesn't want to. YOU adopt an older child if you think it's a great idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just be a foster parent. You ate too old. You would be 60 with a teenager. That's hell.

Teenagers are hell no matter how old the parents are. What a dumb comment.

[Anonymous]

Go for it OP. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I am married but wanted to comment: I'm 60 and have 3 teens. It is not hell at all, it is fun. Having my kids later in life has made me younger.

There are some pretty miserable parents out there. The older moms and single moms by choice are not among them. I count myself lucky to have a great husband who loves being a dad. If not for him I would have definitely been a single mom by choice. The ones I know really stick together and have a great system in one another.

Go for it, OP. You are only 46. Do you know how young you sound to us at 60?!

[Anonymous]

My sister's best friend adopted a 7 year old when she was 54. She had fostered for a year, then the adoption went very smoothly. She was an empty nester and such a mom at heart. Those 2 are beautifully bonded. They should do a public service announcement for foster care and adoption!

[Anonymous]

I work in a high school and we have lots of parents in 50s-70s. Thia is NOT the bad old days. You can be a mom at nearly any age. Believe you me, kids of older parents soar above kids of teen moms.

Go for the adoption, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 46-year-old single parent looking to buy an infant through a private placement? Disgusting.

You are ignorant and hurtful.

There are babies who will have a better life if they are raised by an adult instead of a teen, by someone who is not addicted to drugs, by someone who wanted to parent them, etc.

There are plenty of people who want to adopt babies. The choice is not birth parent vs. OP. It's OP vs another adoptive parent, who may be younger and have a partner (which may or may not mean healthier with a wider support network). OP needs to consider her health and finances and support network.

Yep and adoption always giving the child a better life is an outdated narrative. A lot of birth mothered are coerced due to poverty not because they are unfit mothers.

The adoption industry is so sick. I’m glad there is more awareness around it than there used to be. And, yes, I do think adoption can be necessary but rich people buying infants is gross.

That’s capitalism! Are you a communist or something?