I get so angry with how my teen daughter dresses

[Anonymous]

I personally think it looks terrible, but hav you been to a high school? This is what they are all wearing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This morning she was wearing ultra high waisted lululemon leggings, with a gray sweater. She had tucked the sweater into the lower band of her bra, imagine a sort of draping effect, but exposing about 3-4" of skin above the ultra high waist of the leggings.

This happens with her, every so often she takes school appropriate clothes and transforms them into something overly revealing or inappropriate for school.

I get personally upset. We've been through the rules 1000 times, I hate morning battles, and I feel upset my daughter is on board with societies sexualize kids culture. I just don't get it. And I don't like how hard she is trying to force wearing stuff like this when the venue (and weather) demand otherwise. Why do kids do this. How do I not get so upset about it. I am a victim of sexual assault and my ex was extremely crude and know this affects it too.

I would be upset too. Sorry you are copping so much flack about your legit concerns for your DD. School is for education not an avant- garde fashion show for pushing the limits of what is socially acceptable. Many teachers and support staff spend a lot of time to create thoughtful classes and environments and it is easy to undermine positive learning environments with heavy peer pressure on risqué fashions.

It is very non PC to advise girls to dress modestly for their own self respect, but I agree with you. I also would not allow our son to wear a lot of current guy fashions - pants dropping below bum, nose cartilage piercings etc. So many teen images that are popular on Tik Tok/ social media are trashy but some are cool creative without looking disrespectful.

That said, the world can be dangerous for all young women (eg DMV a hot spot for teen sex trafficking), and it is not just young women who dress proactively at risk. Most sexual assaults take place either at home by known people or on campuses. Not sure dress will help much with that - still so much work to do to create safer world for our daughters.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally think it looks terrible, but hav you been to a high school? This is what they are all wearing.

Public high schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This morning she was wearing ultra high waisted lululemon leggings, with a gray sweater. She had tucked the sweater into the lower band of her bra, imagine a sort of draping effect, but exposing about 3-4" of skin above the ultra high waist of the leggings.

This happens with her, every so often she takes school appropriate clothes and transforms them into something overly revealing or inappropriate for school.

I get personally upset. We've been through the rules 1000 times, I hate morning battles, and I feel upset my daughter is on board with societies sexualize kids culture. I just don't get it. And I don't like how hard she is trying to force wearing stuff like this when the venue (and weather) demand otherwise. Why do kids do this. How do I not get so upset about it. I am a victim of sexual assault and my ex was extremely crude and know this affects it too.

This sounds like a you problem. Seek help from a mental health professional.

This.

Sounds like you are having difficulty accepting that your daughter is becoming a sexual being.

News flash: puberty causes teens to think about - sex! and that is actually normal during puberty, in case you’ve forgotten your own pubescence.

If you have set age-appropriate limits and rules (and she’s abiding by them), then the issue seems to be with your inappropriate view of who your daughter actually is at her age.

[Anonymous]

I am the same. And the battles never work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This morning she was wearing ultra high waisted lululemon leggings, with a gray sweater. She had tucked the sweater into the lower band of her bra, imagine a sort of draping effect, but exposing about 3-4" of skin above the ultra high waist of the leggings.

This happens with her, every so often she takes school appropriate clothes and transforms them into something overly revealing or inappropriate for school.

I get personally upset. We've been through the rules 1000 times, I hate morning battles, and I feel upset my daughter is on board with societies sexualize kids culture. I just don't get it. And I don't like how hard she is trying to force wearing stuff like this when the venue (and weather) demand otherwise. Why do kids do this. How do I not get so upset about it. I am a victim of sexual assault and my ex was extremely crude and know this affects it too.

OMG you are blaming your daughter? I am very sorry that happened to you however you are being ridiculous.

She is not turning on men so they can have an opportunity to assault her.

You must be a troll. No mother would do this to their daughter.

She's dressing this way because of you.

You're a terrible person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This morning she was wearing ultra high waisted lululemon leggings, with a gray sweater. She had tucked the sweater into the lower band of her bra, imagine a sort of draping effect, but exposing about 3-4" of skin above the ultra high waist of the leggings.

This happens with her, every so often she takes school appropriate clothes and transforms them into something overly revealing or inappropriate for school.

I get personally upset. We've been through the rules 1000 times, I hate morning battles, and I feel upset my daughter is on board with societies sexualize kids culture. I just don't get it. And I don't like how hard she is trying to force wearing stuff like this when the venue (and weather) demand otherwise. Why do kids do this. How do I not get so upset about it. I am a victim of sexual assault and my ex was extremely crude and know this affects it too.

ho ho ho... that's funny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It’s your hang-up, OP.
I think she dresses creatively yet still within your strictures. It’s not elegant! But it’s not off the charts inappropriate either.

Relax and work on your past.

As a mom of boys I hate this too. These girls look ridiculous and the boys know it too.

[Anonymous]

Send her to private school. See how many detentions it will take her to follow the rules.

[Anonymous]

She'll be mortified at what age wore ten years from now, so be sure to take lots of pictures. She is trying to get a rise out of you OP.

[Anonymous]

This is not the hill to die on. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This morning she was wearing ultra high waisted lululemon leggings, with a gray sweater. She had tucked the sweater into the lower band of her bra, imagine a sort of draping effect, but exposing about 3-4" of skin above the ultra high waist of the leggings.

This happens with her, every so often she takes school appropriate clothes and transforms them into something overly revealing or inappropriate for school.

I get personally upset. We've been through the rules 1000 times, I hate morning battles, and I feel upset my daughter is on board with societies sexualize kids culture. I just don't get it. And I don't like how hard she is trying to force wearing stuff like this when the venue (and weather) demand otherwise. Why do kids do this. How do I not get so upset about it. I am a victim of sexual assault and my ex was extremely crude and know this affects it too.

I would be upset too. Sorry you are copping so much flack about your legit concerns for your DD. School is for education not an avant- garde fashion show for pushing the limits of what is socially acceptable. Many teachers and support staff spend a lot of time to create thoughtful classes and environments and it is easy to undermine positive learning environments with heavy peer pressure on risqué fashions.

It is very non PC to advise girls to dress modestly for their own self respect, but I agree with you. I also would not allow our son to wear a lot of current guy fashions - pants dropping below bum, nose cartilage piercings etc. So many teen images that are popular on Tik Tok/ social media are trashy but some are cool creative without looking disrespectful.

That said, the world can be dangerous for all young women (eg DMV a hot spot for teen sex trafficking), and it is not just young women who dress proactively at risk. Most sexual assaults take place either at home by known people or on campuses. Not sure dress will help much with that - still so much work to do to create safer world for our daughters.

[Anonymous]

Meant to post, "what?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This morning she was wearing ultra high waisted lululemon leggings, with a gray sweater. She had tucked the sweater into the lower band of her bra, imagine a sort of draping effect, but exposing about 3-4" of skin above the ultra high waist of the leggings.

This happens with her, every so often she takes school appropriate clothes and transforms them into something overly revealing or inappropriate for school.

I get personally upset. We've been through the rules 1000 times, I hate morning battles, and I feel upset my daughter is on board with societies sexualize kids culture. I just don't get it. And I don't like how hard she is trying to force wearing stuff like this when the venue (and weather) demand otherwise. Why do kids do this. How do I not get so upset about it. I am a victim of sexual assault and my ex was extremely crude and know this affects it too.

Were you a victim of sexual assault based on how you were dressed or were you dressed more modestly? Because there's your answer right there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It’s your hang-up, OP.
I think she dresses creatively yet still within your strictures. It’s not elegant! But it’s not off the charts inappropriate either.

Relax and work on your past.

As a mom of boys I hate this too. These girls look ridiculous and the boys know it too.

As a mom of teenage boys I want girls to dress however they want. And I want my sons to focus on themselves, respect girls’ autonomy, and mind their own business.