Be honest, is this why 3 kids seems to be the new magic number?

[Anonymous]

My husband is the youngest of 3. The middle brother is definitely a dud. As is my middle brother.

[Anonymous]

Who’s to say the third won’t be a dud? Then your duds would outnumber your good kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd consider three if I could afford them and hire someone else to take care of them.

I have a friend like this. She is a lawyer who works long hours. She typically saw her kids maybe thirty minutes in the morning and thirty minutes in the evening. The nanny was responsible for bathing, feeding, dressing them. So my friend just had to play with them a little in the morning and evening. Then the nanny would also sometimes work part time on the weekends, too.
Seemed like a sweet deal till covid hit. Then she and her husband (who travels a lot for work) had to take care of them all by themselves. Well, at first the nanny joined them in the country house. But then the nanny left (gee I wonder why?) and she and hubby had to take care of them, along with some grandparent help. OMG the whining. The horrors of having to actually care for your own children! I never got why she had THREE given how little time she and her husband have to care for them.

[Anonymous]

What is a dud anyway?
I suppose I’m that person in my family. I’m a childless spinster and sometimes need financial help, while my brother is a successful family man with his name on buildings. My parents adore me. My brother uses them for free child care.

[Anonymous]

What about the converse? I have two smart and beautiful little boys and I am way too afraid to have another because who hits the jackpot three times? Yes I have severe anxiety.

[Anonymous]

I definitely wanted more than one kid because my brother died when we were kids.

[Anonymous]

So gross to discuss kids as commodities. I grew up with 8 in my family so I stuck with one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about the converse? I have two smart and beautiful little boys and I am way too afraid to have another because who hits the jackpot three times? Yes I have severe anxiety.

See that's sweet. I feel like I have the greatest kid ever so I stopped at one!

[Anonymous]

It’s a crap shoot.

My friends with onlies strike me as the happiest and the research shows that only children have the best outcomes.

My great aunt and uncle had 3 kids, and all 3 died in adulthood of different causes. To have 3 kids and raise them to adulthood and lost all 3 over the course of 15 years sounds horrible.

My cousin has 3 kids, all 3 have pretty significant special needs (autism, anxiety, depression) and it’s unlikely any of them will ever achieve full independence. They are in their 20s.

You just never know. Choose the family size that works for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is a dud anyway?
I suppose I’m that person in my family. I’m a childless spinster and sometimes need financial help, while my brother is a successful family man with his name on buildings. My parents adore me. My brother uses them for free child care.

Why is his name on buildings? Is he a major donor? Or a small time developer? Just curious bc the apartment building I lived in Baltimore was called The Steve

[Anonymous]

So stupid. If this convo actually did happen then they were just messing with you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's why I have 5 kids. I'm winning at evolution

You might have three duds.

The right way:

Have one. Is s/he a dud? If yes, have a second.

So on and so forth.

- signed the baby of the family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about the converse? I have two smart and beautiful little boys and I am way too afraid to have another because who hits the jackpot three times? Yes I have severe anxiety.

See that's sweet. I feel like I have the greatest kid ever so I stopped at one!

I’m guessing neither of you have teenagers.

You’ll be surprised when your bright toddler/greatest kid ever, fizzles quickly into a dud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a crap shoot.

My friends with onlies strike me as the happiest and the research shows that only children have the best outcomes.

My great aunt and uncle had 3 kids, and all 3 died in adulthood of different causes. To have 3 kids and raise them to adulthood and lost all 3 over the course of 15 years sounds horrible.

My cousin has 3 kids, all 3 have pretty significant special needs (autism, anxiety, depression) and it’s unlikely any of them will ever achieve full independence. They are in their 20s.

You just never know. Choose the family size that works for you.

I know a guy who is one of three. His brother had significant special needs (never was able to communicate or use a toilet) and died in his teens. His sister is a homeless drug addict. He himself never married or had kids, and didn’t go to college, but he’s the family success story because he’s alive and has a roof over his head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's why I have 5 kids. I'm winning at evolution

I have one because I got it right the first time.

...kidding! Honestly, this is a weird thing people get hung up on. There are no guarantees with ANY kids.