S/O What is our obligation as parents regarding college $$$?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what are you looking for? Pay for college. Or, don't. Simple.

OP is looking for someone to tell him that despite making $450k/year and being a 1%er, that it's totally fine that he doesn't want to pay for anything more than a state school for his kids. I think OP is stingy, and would ask what he plans to spend his huge income on, if not for a better future for his children.

I Agree with op. Anything other than public state school is a waste of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what are you looking for? Pay for college. Or, don't. Simple.

OP is looking for someone to tell him that despite making $450k/year and being a 1%er, that it's totally fine that he doesn't want to pay for anything more than a state school for his kids. I think OP is stingy, and would ask what he plans to spend his huge income on, if not for a better future for his

Ummmm. How about travel, 2nd or 3rd home, charity…etc..lots of other things to spend money on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you aren’t going to spend your money on your kids educations, what will you spend your money on that could possibly be more important?

NP. I’m not playing unless you answer this fundamental question about what two parents who have a $450,000 income think is a more important expenditure than any college education your kids are able to obtain. Assuming you have retirement savings well under way and are not drug addicts (?) what do you consider a better use of your money?

Why should someone substantially overpay for a similar outcome just because they make a lot of money? If my kid gets into Yale, that's one thing. If we're talking about paying $50K+ for somewhere like GW or AU when you could go to UMD in state, I don't think it's worth it. Save the money and give the $120K difference to your kid for a downpayment.

Not OP, by the way.

OP made it clear they are not paying for Yale, despite the $450,000 income. I agree 100% that it’s silly to pick a random private over UMD, which is an outstanding state flagship, especially for STEM. I’ll admit that I’m assuming OP has values I don’t respect, based on the comment re tithing 10% of income for religion. That’s a bit more defensible than paying that money for drugs, but I have no use for rich people who stint on their kids’ college education. DH and I were motivated to work hard and earn a lot primarily to help give our kids a future that we are extraordinarily lucky to have achieved, and I cannot imagine a similarly wealthy person viewing payment for a great college as something they are not willing to fund.

Not everyone thinks like you. You sound jealous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what are you looking for? Pay for college. Or, don't. Simple.

OP is looking for someone to tell him that despite making $450k/year and being a 1%er, that it's totally fine that he doesn't want to pay for anything more than a state school for his kids. I think OP is stingy, and would ask what he plans to spend his huge income on, if not for a better future for his

Ummmm. How about travel, 2nd or 3rd home, charity…etc..lots of other things to spend money on.

You really think those things should be a priority over education? Have you stopped to consider what example you are setting to your kids. Material things over people. Good plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 450K, you will be expected to be full pay no matter where your child attends. You don’t determine your obligation. A combination of the federal government and college financial aid offices do. You can pay with cash, savings, or private loans, but you will be expected to pay. No emotions accepted.

Um, I absolutely get to determine how to spend my money. Sorry if the word "obligation" threw you off. We all place value on different things and to different degrees. Some parents do not feel obligated to pay for a secondary education...and they don't. Some parents feel like their greatest obligation as a parent is to provide the "best" education their child can get up to and including graduate school. And presumably many degrees in between (community college, in state, not room and board, not a liberal arts school, etc. etc.) I'm asking what this board thinks about that.

I think its sad at your income and your lifestyle, that this is even a question. We have 1/3 your income and will pay for a state school and graduate school, more if we can. If we had your income we'd fully pay for any school and the only catch is they need a major that will leave to a job, not a fun major. At a minimum we will pay tuition, room and board. I hope we can do a private if that's where they want to go but I see mine happy at our state school. Best is subjective as best isn't necessarily a private school. I went to both for college and much happier at the public school. But, at that income level why would you pay for a 4 year school and 2-3 years of graduate school. Is your million+ dollar house, fancy cars and vacations more important than making sure your kids get a good start to life?

Often, people like OP who take this "principled" stance only do so as a facade - they want to spend more, and this is their excuse to do so.

You need to read the OP again. She just started earning $450k. A public university for 4 years costs about $120k for one child so $240k for two kids. That is an enormous amount of money and OP is giving her kids a great gift.

Simple solution. They pretend they never got the bump in salary and put that toward college. Problem solved. So, if they were making $200K and now make $450K, they can easily pay out of pocket for the school that is the best fit for their child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what are you looking for? Pay for college. Or, don't. Simple.

OP is looking for someone to tell him that despite making $450k/year and being a 1%er, that it's totally fine that he doesn't want to pay for anything more than a state school for his kids. I think OP is stingy, and would ask what he plans to spend his huge income on, if not for a better future for his children.

Its perfectly fine a state school or not to pay at all. Hope they have their nursing home picked out. With all the money they save they will be very comfortable there.

At least they will be able to pay their nursing home fees unlike you who will have to use a Medicaid nursing home because you spent all your ‘money on private school. If you think your kids will be lining up to wipe your a$$ when you are old then I have a bridge to sell you. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what are you looking for? Pay for college. Or, don't. Simple.

OP is looking for someone to tell him that despite making $450k/year and being a 1%er, that it's totally fine that he doesn't want to pay for anything more than a state school for his kids. I think OP is stingy, and would ask what he plans to spend his huge income on, if not for a better future for his

Ummmm. How about travel, 2nd or 3rd home, charity…etc..lots of other things to spend money on.

You really think those things should be a priority over education? Have you stopped to consider what example you are setting to your kids. Material things over people. Good plan.

Yep! Not raising a snowflake here. Good luck supporting your ADULT kids for years to come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We paid full tuition for both kids at the school of their choice, which in both instances were at top tuition levels. We saved for years and it honestly never occurred to me not to prioritize college education. My parents paid for my college, and DHs parents, who were very middle class paid for all 3 of their kids to go to private college. At our income level aid was out of the question so we were full pay. At $450k you can pay for college AND have these "experiences" you talk about. Maybe n state is the best option, and there is nothing wrong with that, but I wouldn't limit the choice to in-state.

You don’t sound very prudent with your money. Op is smarter and knows there is no advantage of sending their kids to private schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with OP. We chose to live in VA largely for the many options for good in-state schools, and are saving to cover in-state college for our kids. Most of the time, I don't think privates are worth the money. Both DH and I both went to in-state undergrads. HHI $180k. Several of our friends went to lower ranked schools and are making substantially more money than us too, so I don't think there is a strong school prestige-earnings link. Those friends were more ambitious and went for different careers than we did. If you're a go-getter, you'll get ahead even if you "only" have a degree from GMU or whatnot.

PPs have compared paying for college to eating healthy food. I would say private schools are like eating microgreens and endive, and in-state publics are like eating plain old spinach. It's not like you're just "feeding" your kids candy for dinner.

I love the bolded—thanks, PP!

I mean, the point of college isn’t solely about debt-free education to a fancy name. It’s about getting a good education, broadly. Part of what I want my kids to learn is that there are different ways to do that and they need to take into account what’s a good fit for them, what they’ll get out of the education, etc.
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Neither DH nor I want our kids saddled with crippling debt. Part of that is raising them to have the good judgment not to prioritize an obscenely expensive private university over everything else. My parents paid for my undergraduate tuition, and for that I’m deeply grateful. As an adult, I learned that my father made terrible financial decisions in order to do so, and I really wish he hadn’t done that. We’re not bankrupting ourselves to pay for fancy private schools.

DP. Interestingly, you refer first to how students "need to take into account what's a good fit for them, what they'll get out of the education, etc."

Then you refer to "obscenely expensive private university over everything else" and "fancy private schools."

So no private college could ever also be a "good fit for them" where they'll get what is right for them as individuals?

And every single private college is "obscenely expensive" and "fancy"?

OK! Got it. You wouldn't ever know (or care) if a school were a good fit for your kid if also were private. Too fancy. Guess you'd never find out about the scholarships or financial aid that might make that good fit affordable for your kid. This forum and this thread are so black-and-white and so anti-privates it's remarkable.

[Anonymous]

At least they will be able to pay their nursing home fees unlike you who will have to use a Medicaid nursing home because you spent all your ‘money on private school.

Only stupid people think it's an either - or

[Anonymous]

What is your net worth OP? And how many years to retirement? These are important factors

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what are you looking for? Pay for college. Or, don't. Simple.

OP is looking for someone to tell him that despite making $450k/year and being a 1%er, that it's totally fine that he doesn't want to pay for anything more than a state school for his kids. I think OP is stingy, and would ask what he plans to spend his huge income on, if not for a better future for his children.

Its perfectly fine a state school or not to pay at all. Hope they have their nursing home picked out. With all the money they save they will be very comfortable there.

At least they will be able to pay their nursing home fees unlike you who will have to use a Medicaid nursing home because you spent all your ‘money on private school. If you think your kids will be lining up to wipe your a$$ when you are old then I have a bridge to sell you. Good luck!

All nursing homes suck. And, we save for everything. So, its a non-issue. We live way under our means so we will hire help. Ours will go to the school with the best fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what are you looking for? Pay for college. Or, don't. Simple.

OP is looking for someone to tell him that despite making $450k/year and being a 1%er, that it's totally fine that he doesn't want to pay for anything more than a state school for his kids. I think OP is stingy, and would ask what he plans to spend his huge income on, if not for a better future for his

Ummmm. How about travel, 2nd or 3rd home, charity…etc..lots of other things to spend money on.

You really think those things should be a priority over education? Have you stopped to consider what example you are setting to your kids. Material things over people. Good plan.

Yep! Not raising a snowflake here. Good luck supporting your ADULT kids for years to come.

You think owning 2-3 homes, giving money to travel and charity is setting a good example. Good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

I have to admit I am kind of appalled by this - really you wouldn’t feel obligated to fund a top private? I am Asian and it is basically written into my dna that if I can afford it (and even if I can’t I would try) that I will pay for my kids’ college tuition.I kid, but It was never a question for me growing up that as long as it was a “good” school my parents would pay. That comes with all the stereotypical strings you can imagine.

My parents paid for grad school as well. I had the option of a top 30 program full ride scholarship vs a top 15 program with no scholarship. I didn’t want to take out debt but was perfectly willing to go to the lower ranked school - my parents paid for the higher ranked school. I didn’t realize how much of a leg up that gave me back then but I surely appreciate that now. Having school fully paid for did not make me a bum, as I hear people cite as a reason they think having debt is good.

Our HHI is well over 550k and we’ll absolutely pay for undergrad and grad school, within reason. Why wouldn’t I? My kids are very little now but I can’t imagine telling them to go to their second choice school or take out a crap ton of crippling debt when I can perfectly well afford it. If I couldn’t afford, it would be a different story - no one should bankrupt their retirement to pay for college - but you clearly can. Maybe this is a theoretical thought exercise for you and you’ll change your mind when / if it is a reality

[Anonymous]

I will do whatever I can to pay for my kids' college/grad school. It's why I stay in the workforce, TBH.