S/O What is our obligation as parents regarding college $$$?

[Anonymous]

The recent thread about paying for college has me wondering. What do you think is your obligation to your children regarding secondary education? How much does it depend on your income/wealth?

Personally, we are striving for four years of in state tuition/room/board for our two kids. We'll probably get there, but just barely. Our HHI is 450K, but we just got there and our oldest is four years from college. But I honestly think that is all I would pay regardless of my ability... I'm not sure I see a guaranteed difference in outcomes between say UMD and Vassar that would justify the experiences we would forfeit to get there...

Just wondering what others' perspectives are on this?

[Anonymous]

At 450K, you will be expected to be full pay no matter where your child attends. You don’t determine your obligation. A combination of the federal government and college financial aid offices do. You can pay with cash, savings, or private loans, but you will be expected to pay. No emotions accepted.

[Anonymous]

At your income level there is zero excuse not to pay for college and graduate school. I think it depends on the child of what school is best.

[Anonymous]

We hope to cover public college for our two children. If I could afford it, I’d happily cover four years at private, but it’s just out of reach for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 450K, you will be expected to be full pay no matter where your child attends. You don’t determine your obligation. A combination of the federal government and college financial aid offices do. You can pay with cash, savings, or private loans, but you will be expected to pay. No emotions accepted.

Um, I absolutely get to determine how to spend my money. Sorry if the word "obligation" threw you off. We all place value on different things and to different degrees. Some parents do not feel obligated to pay for a secondary education...and they don't. Some parents feel like their greatest obligation as a parent is to provide the "best" education their child can get up to and including graduate school. And presumably many degrees in between (community college, in state, not room and board, not a liberal arts school, etc. etc.) I'm asking what this board thinks about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At your income level there is zero excuse not to pay for college and graduate school. I think it depends on the child of what school is best.

So to change this into an answer to my question: You feel an obligation to pay for the best both college and graduate school for your children, or would if your HHI was 450k?

[Anonymous]

We make 130 HHI and have three kids (admittedly, HHI was over 200k for some years before I became a SAHM). We’ve prepaid state (VA) schools for two and put in 80k so far for one. My goal is to pay all of college and grad school for all three.

For us, providing good education is like putting healthy food on the table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 450K, you will be expected to be full pay no matter where your child attends. You don’t determine your obligation. A combination of the federal government and college financial aid offices do. You can pay with cash, savings, or private loans, but you will be expected to pay. No emotions accepted.

Um, I absolutely get to determine how to spend my money. Sorry if the word "obligation" threw you off. We all place value on different things and to different degrees. Some parents do not feel obligated to pay for a secondary education...and they don't. Some parents feel like their greatest obligation as a parent is to provide the "best" education their child can get up to and including graduate school. And presumably many degrees in between (community college, in state, not room and board, not a liberal arts school, etc. etc.) I'm asking what this board thinks about that.

I think its sad at your income and your lifestyle, that this is even a question. We have 1/3 your income and will pay for a state school and graduate school, more if we can. If we had your income we'd fully pay for any school and the only catch is they need a major that will leave to a job, not a fun major. At a minimum we will pay tuition, room and board. I hope we can do a private if that's where they want to go but I see mine happy at our state school. Best is subjective as best isn't necessarily a private school. I went to both for college and much happier at the public school. But, at that income level why would you pay for a 4 year school and 2-3 years of graduate school. Is your million+ dollar house, fancy cars and vacations more important than making sure your kids get a good start to life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
We make 130 HHI and have three kids (admittedly, HHI was over 200k for some years before I became a SAHM). We’ve prepaid state (VA) schools for two and put in 80k so far for one. My goal is to pay all of college and grad school for all three.

For us, providing good education is like putting healthy food on the table.

+1000, I don't need a big fancy house, cars or vacations but my kids need college and graduate school with as little to no debt to give them a good start to life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We make 130 HHI and have three kids (admittedly, HHI was over 200k for some years before I became a SAHM). We’ve prepaid state (VA) schools for two and put in 80k so far for one. My goal is to pay all of college and grad school for all three.

For us, providing good education is like putting healthy food on the table.

+1000, I don't need a big fancy house, cars or vacations but my kids need college and graduate school with as little to no debt to give them a good start to life.

Yay! Another reasonable person!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure I see a guaranteed difference in outcomes between say UMD and Vassar that would justify the experiences we would forfeit to get there...

What about the difference in your child's experiences between UMD and Vassar? For my kid it would be worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 450K, you will be expected to be full pay no matter where your child attends. You don’t determine your obligation. A combination of the federal government and college financial aid offices do. You can pay with cash, savings, or private loans, but you will be expected to pay. No emotions accepted.

Um, I absolutely get to determine how to spend my money. Sorry if the word "obligation" threw you off. We all place value on different things and to different degrees. Some parents do not feel obligated to pay for a secondary education...and they don't. Some parents feel like their greatest obligation as a parent is to provide the "best" education their child can get up to and including graduate school. And presumably many degrees in between (community college, in state, not room and board, not a liberal arts school, etc. etc.) I'm asking what this board thinks about that.

You misunderstood my post. Your child will not receive federal aid or loans. You will be expected to pay unless you financially emancipate her. As in no more claiming her as a dependent on your taxes.

Not my opinion- those are the rules.

[Anonymous]

With your income you are being stingy. You could absolutely afford private. Or the delta of private minus some merit. We are full pay for undergrad and happy to do it as we do indeed see it as our obligation.

[Anonymous]

The EFC is what I personally think parents owe unless they're in a very unusual situation (e.g. parent with cancer, younger sibling with cerebral palsy).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 450K, you will be expected to be full pay no matter where your child attends. You don’t determine your obligation. A combination of the federal government and college financial aid offices do. You can pay with cash, savings, or private loans, but you will be expected to pay. No emotions accepted.

Um, I absolutely get to determine how to spend my money. Sorry if the word "obligation" threw you off. We all place value on different things and to different degrees. Some parents do not feel obligated to pay for a secondary education...and they don't. Some parents feel like their greatest obligation as a parent is to provide the "best" education their child can get up to and including graduate school. And presumably many degrees in between (community college, in state, not room and board, not a liberal arts school, etc. etc.) I'm asking what this board thinks about that.

I think its sad at your income and your lifestyle, that this is even a question. We have 1/3 your income and will pay for a state school and graduate school, more if we can. If we had your income we'd fully pay for any school and the only catch is they need a major that will leave to a job, not a fun major. At a minimum we will pay tuition, room and board. I hope we can do a private if that's where they want to go but I see mine happy at our state school. Best is subjective as best isn't necessarily a private school. I went to both for college and much happier at the public school. But, at that income level why would you pay for a 4 year school and 2-3 years of graduate school. Is your million+ dollar house, fancy cars and vacations more important than making sure your kids get a good start to life?

So I'll cut through the attacks on me here, and focus on something you wrote that I think is interesting. I think there are valid differences of opinion on what count as "a good start in life." I absolutely think education is important. But "what success looks like" for my kids from my perspective is not tied to earning potential (beyond a certain floor, of course) or social stature. I believe that a stable home, an upbringing with lots of enriching experiences and a good dose of learning independence and responsibility, and four years of paid education at a really good state school is a good start in life.