Tips for dating divorced dads? How to interact with their kids or their mom if you meet them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New women ie step mothers bring new traditions, and domestic stuff like new food and “how we do holidays”. Men generally do not, so they are perceived as less threatening to the original family. A step dad is like this benevolent friendly extra uncle. A step mom, even well meaning, can really mess things up.

Step-sons do not think this. On some level they hate they guy who is fcking their mom.

I think a guy who wants to get involved with a woman who's had kids is kinda desperate and not the cream of the crop anyway. So it's no surprise that the woman's kids don't like him.

Desperate? No, just realistic. All women come with baggage, and a non-crazy one with kids beats a crazy one without.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New women ie step mothers bring new traditions, and domestic stuff like new food and “how we do holidays”. Men generally do not, so they are perceived as less threatening to the original family. A step dad is like this benevolent friendly extra uncle. A step mom, even well meaning, can really mess things up.

Step-sons do not think this. On some level they hate they guy who is fcking their mom.

I think a guy who wants to get involved with a woman who's had kids is kinda desperate and not the cream of the crop anyway. So it's no surprise that the woman's kids don't like him.

Unless of course their Dad is a dirt bag, then step Dad is the coolest guy on Earth. But there are no abusive Dads out there...

I can never understand a man who wants to raise another man's children.

I don't get where you're coming from. Do you have personal experience? I do. My father raised my mom's kids from a previous marriage. He loved my mom, that's reason enough.

Good for you but your stepdad isn't the norm. Many DCUM divorced moms have trouble remarrying because of this. If they do, it's because the second husbands weren't able to get more eligible women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New women ie step mothers bring new traditions, and domestic stuff like new food and “how we do holidays”. Men generally do not, so they are perceived as less threatening to the original family. A step dad is like this benevolent friendly extra uncle. A step mom, even well meaning, can really mess things up.

Step-sons do not think this. On some level they hate they guy who is fcking their mom.

I think a guy who wants to get involved with a woman who's had kids is kinda desperate and not the cream of the crop anyway. So it's no surprise that the woman's kids don't like him.

Desperate? No, just realistic. All women come with baggage, and a non-crazy one with kids beats a crazy one without.

Like somehow having kids makes a woman uncrazy? A woman who's been through divorce with baggage in tow is more likely to be crazy.

[Anonymous]

Men dating in their 40s and 50s are in exactly the same situation as women the same age — there are limited options and many of the best people will have kids / be divorced. If you rule out women with kids you are ruling out a lot of people you might be compatible with. Plus, a lot of times the guy has kids too. Bottom line, men are in the same situation as women when it comes to dating someone with kids and if you don’t find it surprising that high quality women get involved in such situations you shouldn’t find it surprising that high quality men do too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New women ie step mothers bring new traditions, and domestic stuff like new food and “how we do holidays”. Men generally do not, so they are perceived as less threatening to the original family. A step dad is like this benevolent friendly extra uncle. A step mom, even well meaning, can really mess things up.

Step-sons do not think this. On some level they hate they guy who is fcking their mom.

I think a guy who wants to get involved with a woman who's had kids is kinda desperate and not the cream of the crop anyway. So it's no surprise that the woman's kids don't like him.

Desperate? No, just realistic. All women come with baggage, and a non-crazy one with kids beats a crazy one without.

Like somehow having kids makes a woman uncrazy? A woman who's been through divorce with baggage in tow is more likely to be crazy.

Who is more likely to be eccentric or “crazy” - a 48 year old man who has never married or had kids, or a divorced 48 year old dad with a 15 year marriage behind him?

Right, same for women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men dating in their 40s and 50s are in exactly the same situation as women the same age — there are limited options and many of the best people will have kids / be divorced. If you rule out women with kids you are ruling out a lot of people you might be compatible with. Plus, a lot of times the guy has kids too. Bottom line, men are in the same situation as women when it comes to dating someone with kids and if you don’t find it surprising that high quality women get involved in such situations you shouldn’t find it surprising that high quality men do too.

Older men can choose from women who don't have kids. Older women not so much. Honestly the preference will always be for someone with no kids because it's just less stressful that way. This thread already supports that entering a relationship where the other party has kids is just fraught with so many emotional minefields just because OP prefers to live in her own domicile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New women ie step mothers bring new traditions, and domestic stuff like new food and “how we do holidays”. Men generally do not, so they are perceived as less threatening to the original family. A step dad is like this benevolent friendly extra uncle. A step mom, even well meaning, can really mess things up.

Step-sons do not think this. On some level they hate they guy who is fcking their mom.

I think a guy who wants to get involved with a woman who's had kids is kinda desperate and not the cream of the crop anyway. So it's no surprise that the woman's kids don't like him.

Desperate? No, just realistic. All women come with baggage, and a non-crazy one with kids beats a crazy one without.

Like somehow having kids makes a woman uncrazy? A woman who's been through divorce with baggage in tow is more likely to be crazy.

Who is more likely to be eccentric or “crazy” - a 48 year old man who has never married or had kids, or a divorced 48 year old dad with a 15 year marriage behind him?

Right, same for women.

So are Bill Maher or Leo DiCaprio crazy for never having married or kids? More like smart for not getting embroiled and losing their $$$

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men dating in their 40s and 50s are in exactly the same situation as women the same age — there are limited options and many of the best people will have kids / be divorced. If you rule out women with kids you are ruling out a lot of people you might be compatible with. Plus, a lot of times the guy has kids too. Bottom line, men are in the same situation as women when it comes to dating someone with kids and if you don’t find it surprising that high quality women get involved in such situations you shouldn’t find it surprising that high quality men do too.

Men in thier 40s and 50s still primarily date childless late 20s and 30s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New women ie step mothers bring new traditions, and domestic stuff like new food and “how we do holidays”. Men generally do not, so they are perceived as less threatening to the original family. A step dad is like this benevolent friendly extra uncle. A step mom, even well meaning, can really mess things up.

Step-sons do not think this. On some level they hate they guy who is fcking their mom.

I think a guy who wants to get involved with a woman who's had kids is kinda desperate and not the cream of the crop anyway. So it's no surprise that the woman's kids don't like him.

Desperate? No, just realistic. All women come with baggage, and a non-crazy one with kids beats a crazy one without.

Like somehow having kids makes a woman uncrazy? A woman who's been through divorce with baggage in tow is more likely to be crazy.

Who is more likely to be eccentric or “crazy” - a 48 year old man who has never married or had kids, or a divorced 48 year old dad with a 15 year marriage behind him?

Right, same for women.

So are Bill Maher or Leo DiCaprio crazy for never having married or kids? More like smart for not getting embroiled and losing their $$$

NP. I think Bill and Leo would have a very difficult time settling into married life without unrealistic demands or uzpextaopms. When you’ve been able to live single and selfish for a while, your priorities and approach change. That’s why these men don’t marry. Long term girlfriends maybe. But old singles get comfortable. And crazy.

A divorced mom is the least crazy. She’s already dealt with the BS and has a low tolerance for shenanigans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men dating in their 40s and 50s are in exactly the same situation as women the same age — there are limited options and many of the best people will have kids / be divorced. If you rule out women with kids you are ruling out a lot of people you might be compatible with. Plus, a lot of times the guy has kids too. Bottom line, men are in the same situation as women when it comes to dating someone with kids and if you don’t find it surprising that high quality women get involved in such situations you shouldn’t find it surprising that high quality men do too.

Men in thier 40s and 50s still primarily date childless late 20s and 30s

Depends on what they want, as with all things. Bachelors that don’t want to settle down will do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New women ie step mothers bring new traditions, and domestic stuff like new food and “how we do holidays”. Men generally do not, so they are perceived as less threatening to the original family. A step dad is like this benevolent friendly extra uncle. A step mom, even well meaning, can really mess things up.

Step-sons do not think this. On some level they hate they guy who is fcking their mom.

I think a guy who wants to get involved with a woman who's had kids is kinda desperate and not the cream of the crop anyway. So it's no surprise that the woman's kids don't like him.

Desperate? No, just realistic. All women come with baggage, and a non-crazy one with kids beats a crazy one without.

Like somehow having kids makes a woman uncrazy? A woman who's been through divorce with baggage in tow is more likely to be crazy.

Kids and divorce absolutely calm the crazy down in a woman. We are too tired to care. Finally we meet the man’s reduced intensity of emotional investment. It’s glorious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex-h has a girlfriend turned fiancée who interacts with my daughters. I despise her. The mother of your boyfriend’s kids probably also despises you. It’s nothing personal, I’m sure you are lovely, normal person. Mothers do not like other women crowding into the mothering role however. This is fact. Best advice is stay out of the way, and have a great time with your new boyfriend but don’t interfere even in the slightest. You most likely not be warmly received, by no fault of of your own. Be hands off, don’t post pictures of yourself in a motherly pose, don’t do specula milestone things like get ears pierced, don’t bribe them with lavish gifts, don’t interfere with parenting decisions like what kind of electronics the kids are allowed, etc.

I also have a boyfriend with a daughter, so I know both sides of this experience. It’s not easy. Unless you feel you are soulmates or are passionately, deeply in love, don’t bother...

You know two sides, not all sides. This attitude is terrible for kids full stop.

- grown up step kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men dating in their 40s and 50s are in exactly the same situation as women the same age — there are limited options and many of the best people will have kids / be divorced. If you rule out women with kids you are ruling out a lot of people you might be compatible with. Plus, a lot of times the guy has kids too. Bottom line, men are in the same situation as women when it comes to dating someone with kids and if you don’t find it surprising that high quality women get involved in such situations you shouldn’t find it surprising that high quality men do too.

Men in thier 40s and 50s still primarily date childless late 20s and 30s

This is not true, it’s some kind of weird MRA fantasy. I’m a single man dating in my 50s so I should know.

Older men have exactly the same ability to find childless partners as older women do — there are plenty of younger childless men who will date older women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men dating in their 40s and 50s are in exactly the same situation as women the same age — there are limited options and many of the best people will have kids / be divorced. If you rule out women with kids you are ruling out a lot of people you might be compatible with. Plus, a lot of times the guy has kids too. Bottom line, men are in the same situation as women when it comes to dating someone with kids and if you don’t find it surprising that high quality women get involved in such situations you shouldn’t find it surprising that high quality men do too.

Men in thier 40s and 50s still primarily date childless late 20s and 30s

This is not true, it’s some kind of weird MRA fantasy. I’m a single man dating in my 50s so I should know.

Older men have exactly the same ability to find childless partners as older women do — there are plenty of younger childless men who will date older women.

But an older women with kids? No way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men dating in their 40s and 50s are in exactly the same situation as women the same age — there are limited options and many of the best people will have kids / be divorced. If you rule out women with kids you are ruling out a lot of people you might be compatible with. Plus, a lot of times the guy has kids too. Bottom line, men are in the same situation as women when it comes to dating someone with kids and if you don’t find it surprising that high quality women get involved in such situations you shouldn’t find it surprising that high quality men do too.

Men in thier 40s and 50s still primarily date childless late 20s and 30s

This is not true, it’s some kind of weird MRA fantasy. I’m a single man dating in my 50s so I should know.

Older men have exactly the same ability to find childless partners as older women do — there are plenty of younger childless men who will date older women.

But an older women with kids? No way.

If she is kind, healthy, gorgeous, eductated, sexy, loving, and authentic - yes. Even with kids. Absolutely a way.