Teen death at Whitman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Party with drinking was broken up by parents or cops. Kids fled. This teen never made it home. SO tragic. Many teens drink...almost none end up fleeing a party and freezing in the woods. This is tragic for this family. Just an accident.

Wow so sad for the family. Makes me angry with the party house parents that allowed the drinking to happen in their home -- either directly knowing about it or indirectly by turning a blind eye.

They may not have known. Sometimes the parents aren't even home when parties happen.

Then they should have known what their kid was up to, it's their job as parents. There are no longer excuses for these parties, especially in this area where they have been screamed about for years. You would have to be deaf, dumb and blind to not know if your kid were capable of hosting something like this.

I wouldn't necessarily blame the parents without additional information. I could very easily imagine the following scenario: Parents go out of town and kid is sent to stay at a friend's house; the kid tells the host family he is going out and then goes back to his empty home and throws the party. This is how it was done back in my day.

Still, irresponsible adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I wouldn't necessarily blame the parents without additional information. I could very easily imagine the following scenario: Parents go out of town and kid is sent to stay at a friend's house; the kid tells the host family he is going out and then goes back to his empty home and throws the party. This is how it was done back in my day.

Still, irresponsible adults.

Which adults, specifically, would be irresponsible in this scenario? The parents, for going out of town? The host family, for letting the kid go out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I wouldn't necessarily blame the parents without additional information. I could very easily imagine the following scenario: Parents go out of town and kid is sent to stay at a friend's house; the kid tells the host family he is going out and then goes back to his empty home and throws the party. This is how it was done back in my day.

Still, irresponsible adults.

Which adults, specifically, would be irresponsible in this scenario? The parents, for going out of town? The host family, for letting the kid go out?

All of them. Who else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s entirely possible, maybe even likely, that none of the parents of any of the party attendees knew where their children were or what they were doing.

Which is sort of sad and scary....

How old are your children?

They are similar ages to the kids at this party. I'll also point out, that the statistics indicate that most 16/17 year old kids do not go to these types of parties.

The people who say - teens ARE going to drink, they WILL smoke pot, etc....because that's what kids do....are rationalizing this behavior in their own minds. Fact is, the majority of HS kids don't do this.

Now if you are one of the parent who has accepted that ALL kids do this and you believe that you are making things safer for your kid by giving them their teenage drinking "training wheels" before they graduate and head off to college....that is your viewpoint. It doesn't mean that most parents embrace that approach.

+1

I have two kids through high school and 1 there now. They have active social lives and went out a lot, but none of them drink or smoke (anything), and we pretty much know where they are, who they're with and when they'll be home. And no, we aren't naive. We talk about this stuff all the time, they've shared stories of who's doing what, what parties they've left, who's in trouble, etc. This crowd of "good kids" is bigger than you think.

Plenty of "good kids" drink in HS. By any definition, I was a "good kid" - top student, decent athlete (at least in uncool sports), etc. I, and my similarly situated friends, drank in HS. We didn't drink as often as some people and we certainly wouldn't get invited to all the parties, but there were a decent number of times that we drank either at parties or hanging out among our small group of friends. We didn't generally get hammered, but it happened on occasion.

None of that made us "bad kids." What happened here is a tragedy, but it doesn't necessarily mean any of the kids involved were "bad kids" and it doesn't mean HS drinking naturally leads to something like this. It sounds like a significant number of things had to play out in exactly the wrong manner for things to end as tragically as it did.

[Anonymous]

I drank and partied in HS. I was a good kid-- got good grades, had a job, etc. My parents didn't know I was partying-- they were great parents but were not on top of me every second (and I don't believe any of you who say you know where your kid is all times in HS). This could have happened to me or any of my friends. Right now, this could happen to your kids or any of their friends. If you think 'never my kid' or 'I would kill my kid for that' then you are the type of parents whose kids wont tell them when they need a ride home from such party, etc...be smart people-- maybe not all HS kids drink, but don't kid yourself that your child is somehow safe from all of this because you are such a great parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I drank and partied in HS. I was a good kid-- got good grades, had a job, etc. My parents didn't know I was partying-- they were great parents but were not on top of me every second (and I don't believe any of you who say you know where your kid is all times in HS). This could have happened to me or any of my friends. Right now, this could happen to your kids or any of their friends. If you think 'never my kid' or 'I would kill my kid for that' then you are the type of parents whose kids wont tell them when they need a ride home from such party, etc...be smart people-- maybe not all HS kids drink, but don't kid yourself that your child is somehow safe from all of this because you are such a great parent.

Exact same. I think a lot of you are pretty delusional / would be surprised to find out how easily your kid gives you lip service on this stuff

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents should be installing cameras like the ring doorbell or other cameras on their front and back doors, also in basement or rec room. This will keep them informed as to what is going on, who is entering their house and also might dissuade their kids from doing things they shouldn't be doing.

+ 1,000,000

I grew up in the Rockville/Potomac area. There was generally a party every weekend. If it wasn't at a home, it was in some random field. Where there's a will, there's a way.

Yup! I grew up in the area too and if not multiple house parties there was a field party every weekend. "Good" kids were there too, sorry to report. Not everyone binge drinks every weekend, but I would venture a guess to say true vast majority of your kids have at least experimented

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I wouldn't necessarily blame the parents without additional information. I could very easily imagine the following scenario: Parents go out of town and kid is sent to stay at a friend's house; the kid tells the host family he is going out and then goes back to his empty home and throws the party. This is how it was done back in my day.

Still, irresponsible adults.

Which adults, specifically, would be irresponsible in this scenario? The parents, for going out of town? The host family, for letting the kid go out?

All of them. Who else?

All of them FOR WHAT? (Capital letters for emphasis, not shouting.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I wouldn't necessarily blame the parents without additional information. I could very easily imagine the following scenario: Parents go out of town and kid is sent to stay at a friend's house; the kid tells the host family he is going out and then goes back to his empty home and throws the party. This is how it was done back in my day.

Still, irresponsible adults.

Which adults, specifically, would be irresponsible in this scenario? The parents, for going out of town? The host family, for letting the kid go out?

All of them. Who else?

All of them FOR WHAT? (Capital letters for emphasis, not shouting.)

Perhaps for leaving their badly behaved kids unattended?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s entirely possible, maybe even likely, that none of the parents of any of the party attendees knew where their children were or what they were doing.

Which is sort of sad and scary....

How old are your children?

They are similar ages to the kids at this party. I'll also point out, that the statistics indicate that most 16/17 year old kids do not go to these types of parties.

The people who say - teens ARE going to drink, they WILL smoke pot, etc....because that's what kids do....are rationalizing this behavior in their own minds. Fact is, the majority of HS kids don't do this.

Now if you are one of the parent who has accepted that ALL kids do this and you believe that you are making things safer for your kid by giving them their teenage drinking "training wheels" before they graduate and head off to college....that is your viewpoint. It doesn't mean that most parents embrace that approach.

And you always know where your children are and what they are doing? Would your children agree with your answer? That's the point, not whether or not all high school students drink.

Am I infallible? Are my kids absolutely perfect? No. Could they potentially wind up at a party like that w/o me knowing about it? Yep.

Honestly, they just don't seem to be interested in that type of partying. They've got lots of other things going on in their lives - I think that helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I wouldn't necessarily blame the parents without additional information. I could very easily imagine the following scenario: Parents go out of town and kid is sent to stay at a friend's house; the kid tells the host family he is going out and then goes back to his empty home and throws the party. This is how it was done back in my day.

Still, irresponsible adults.

Which adults, specifically, would be irresponsible in this scenario? The parents, for going out of town? The host family, for letting the kid go out?

All of them. Who else?

All of them FOR WHAT? (Capital letters for emphasis, not shouting.)

Perhaps for leaving their badly behaved kids unattended?

How old are your children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents should be installing cameras like the ring doorbell or other cameras on their front and back doors, also in basement or rec room. This will keep them informed as to what is going on, who is entering their house and also might dissuade their kids from doing things they shouldn't be doing.

+ 1,000,000

I grew up in the Rockville/Potomac area. There was generally a party every weekend. If it wasn't at a home, it was in some random field. Where there's a will, there's a way.

Yup! I grew up in the area too and if not multiple house parties there was a field party every weekend. "Good" kids were there too, sorry to report. Not everyone binge drinks every weekend, but I would venture a guess to say true vast majority of your kids have at least experimented

eh, back in the day kids used to go to friends' houses after school whose parents both worked. Usually the parent didn't mind if their kid had a friend or two over so having an extra car or two parked in their driveway wasn't a worry to them even if a neighbor mentioned seeing the cars. What they didn't know is that 4 to 6 friends had ridden in those cars along with the drivers. The parents had no clue that the kid was having a small party at his/her house every day after school - with drinking, pot and sex.

Everyone would leave before the parents got home and go hang out in the basements of supervised homes - buzzed and contented. I didn't do this myself. But I knew people who did.

Parks, wooded areas, spots along train tracks - also places to party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I wouldn't necessarily blame the parents without additional information. I could very easily imagine the following scenario: Parents go out of town and kid is sent to stay at a friend's house; the kid tells the host family he is going out and then goes back to his empty home and throws the party. This is how it was done back in my day.

Still, irresponsible adults.

Which adults, specifically, would be irresponsible in this scenario? The parents, for going out of town? The host family, for letting the kid go out?

All of them. Who else?

+1

Both irresponsible. The parents should have had someone watching the house. The host parents should have told the kid to be back in two hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I wouldn't necessarily blame the parents without additional information. I could very easily imagine the following scenario: Parents go out of town and kid is sent to stay at a friend's house; the kid tells the host family he is going out and then goes back to his empty home and throws the party. This is how it was done back in my day.

Still, irresponsible adults.

Which adults, specifically, would be irresponsible in this scenario? The parents, for going out of town? The host family, for letting the kid go out?

All of them. Who else?

+1

Both irresponsible. The parents should have had someone watching the house. The host parents should have told the kid to be back in two hours.

Now you're just pulling our leg.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I drank and partied in HS. I was a good kid-- got good grades, had a job, etc. My parents didn't know I was partying-- they were great parents but were not on top of me every second (and I don't believe any of you who say you know where your kid is all times in HS). This could have happened to me or any of my friends. Right now, this could happen to your kids or any of their friends. If you think 'never my kid' or 'I would kill my kid for that' then you are the type of parents whose kids wont tell them when they need a ride home from such party, etc...be smart people-- maybe not all HS kids drink, but don't kid yourself that your child is somehow safe from all of this because you are such a great parent.

Exact same. I think a lot of you are pretty delusional / would be surprised to find out how easily your kid gives you lip service on this stuff

I was a HS national champion in an academic activity. I was not cool by any stretch of the imagination. I eventually went to Yale. I drank in HS. Not a lot, but some. There was definitely a time or two when something like this could have happened. Same exact situation as PPs here.