I'd like to tell Sheryl Sandberg to STFU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just posted.
So I challenge the women on this board, if Sheryl Sandberg isn't a role model and inspiration to business women then who is?
and don't mention any women in government, because although there are some great women in government, it is a totally different world than the business/law/finance/industry world- which is dominated by men.

Who should be our role models?

Why do you need one? Did Hillary need to see a woman as POTUS to aspire to it and run for the position?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a man, I found the book helpful to realizing some of my own blind spots with respect to female colleagues and also to making sure that I am a "real partner" to my wife and share the household duties 50/50. These aren't revolutionary concepts, and no she isn't exactly breaking new ground. But I thought the book did a good job of highlighting some of the imbalances a lot of well-intentioned men are sometimes oblivious to. It was something that helped me learn and grow.

I honestly didn't find the book preachy or grating like so many of you obviously did. I don't think she ever said anything like "success is easy if you just do 1, 2, and 3. I interpreted her message more as "These are some obstacles that ambitious, driven women are facing in today's workplace. Here are some strategies/devices to deal with them."

Did the book solve all of women's problems? No. Was it a useful contribution? Yes.

It is so easy to criticize and condemn. It's much harder to do something constructive.

Cool story bro

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think we need more Sheryl Sandbergs in this world, from all backgrounds. And we all need to look for them and lift them up. What is the point in tearing her down if she's sharing her truth? If it doesn't resonate with you, change the channel or pick up another book.

I don't think we need more Sheryl Sandbergs. Do we want young women to seek out their "daddy/mentor", like she did. Decrepit old Larry Summers, president of Harvard couldn't resist helping this bright young thing, a Harvard student, mentoring her out of the goodness of his heart. If Sheryl clawed her way up without Lar Bear, I would respect her. She's a fraud and she will damage FB before it's over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This bothers me a bit. There are only so many hours in a day. Losing a parent as a child changes the course of your life. Btdt. I just don't see how she can be there for her kids as they deal with their grief, while still "leaning in", working, writing books, and dating. That's the part that makes me question her perspective.

I'm with you. Her first book didn't bother me the way this one does - maybe because this time around the book feels like "capitalizing on the tragedy" in almost narcissistic sense... It's been less than 2 years and she really has all that "free time" to first write and now promote this book on every channel and news outlet? If she just wanted to "share" with others in the similar situation why not use her own platform i.e. post on Facebook?
And, the whole dating thing... trying not to judge but well, just hope her kids are doing ok.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think we need more Sheryl Sandbergs in this world, from all backgrounds. And we all need to look for them and lift them up. What is the point in tearing her down if she's sharing her truth? If it doesn't resonate with you, change the channel or pick up another book.

Yes.
This post is part of the reason women haven't risen to the top in the workplace. Everyone wants to cut down and poke holes in an aspiring lifting message from one of the most successful women in Corporate America (through her own hard work- not through marriage or working for Dad). This board is one excuse after another about what's holding women back from success or tearing down Sandberg's success. We have enough to overcome from men, so shouldn't women pull together even more? How about just looking at some of the VERY valid points in the book to help yourself like:
- pick and marry a good life partner (if you don't everything can fall apart. true)
- Don't leave before you leave. I've seen too many women mentally check out or start planning for part-time, while they are pregnant or even just thinking about starting a family. You haven't even had the kid yet. Who knows yet if you really want to stop working.
- attach yourself and become indispensable to bosses above you. When you are their go-to person, they will pull you up with them.

Meanwhile, men pull each other up, look out for each other, overlook the negative, give each other breaks and second chances.
Many women, like me, who work in upper management, know we have to work almost twice as hard as men to overcome all the male... and female bullshit.
I wonder how much further we could go, if women truly supported and cheered for each other the way men do.

+1000. It makes me so sad, whether it is a successful well known woman, or just the usual crapping on working moms or stay at home moms, DCUM is all about putting women down. If a successful woman like Sandberg has a message, it is shot down because it doesn't resonate with everyone, perfectly, in every stage of their life, and she can't possibly relate to the average woman, even though, for many years she WAS the average woman who achieved a great deal of success...which is the damn point of her book.

ITA. I was a SAHM when I read her book, and I didn't feel threatened or pissed. Now, I'm working in a small office of women and I'm the one constantly reminding them (gently) that our women clients, vendors, friends aren't the enemies. It makes me sad. I'm not perfect, nor are my friends, and it's okay. We don't have to take everything so personally.

[Anonymous]

I feel like she must be unattainably perfect as a businesswoman, and that intimidates me. It integrigues me that she canbe both emotional as a woman and also powerful as f. I am a working FT mom of 2 who somehow ended up in a fairly powerful position in my field -- working closely with big name execs, some of whom are brilliant, powerful -- and childless women-- and I suffer from constant imposter syndrome. I am anatual wxtrovert and ideas person, butbeing around "important" people, as I have been inmy last couple of jobs, makes me feel like a complete mess. I dont feel that I lookor sound nearly professional enough (i have a very youthful sounding voice), small gaffes make me paralyzed with self consciousness, and I am an rmptional person who has cried in front of coworkers (i lost my parent recently and am coping with some other heavy family problems). I know i need to cut myself some slack, but i feel like everytime i lean in, i screw uo, yet I also know i am a valued team member and well liked... i just feel like i cant live up to that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see why she annoys people. But I also she's calling out some pretty real shit and people don't like hearing it. The idea that who you marry will be the most important decision you make in terms of your career couldn't be more spot on.

This is so ridiculous because she says she could only be ask successful as she is because of her husband thereby shutting the door to that level of success for all single women.

I agree, op. I find nothing she says to be relevant to me as a single working mother of two at my big firm job.

[Anonymous]

Pp here - sorry for all the typos. I meant to say I am a "natural extrovert" and an"emotional" person.

[Anonymous]

Interesting. Notice how no men ever start a thread to bash Jeff Immelt when he releases a book. Women shouldn't be so defensive and insecure that they feel the need to take down a successful woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just posted.
So I challenge the women on this board, if Sheryl Sandberg isn't a role model and inspiration to business women then who is?
and don't mention any women in government, because although there are some great women in government, it is a totally different world than the business/law/finance/industry world- which is dominated by men.

Who should be our role models?

I'm only inspired by people I actually know and work with. I don't trust the public personas people can create. I have had wonderful mentors at my firm.

[Anonymous]

so her husband died and now she is an expert on grief..good lord. next thing she will bump her car and write a book about car insurance.

I find it annoying that she feels she must reflect on her experiences in such a public way and use them as a leading oportunity not for herself but for everyone. so annoying? isn't she busy enough at work? i have a much more pedestrian job and I would have time to run around and push book about my experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting. Notice how no men ever start a thread to bash Jeff Immelt when he releases a book. Women shouldn't be so defensive and insecure that they feel the need to take down a successful woman.

This. But it will fall on deaf ears here.

[Anonymous]

It's just another way to make money. Monetize everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting. Notice how no men ever start a thread to bash Jeff Immelt when he releases a book. Women shouldn't be so defensive and insecure that they feel the need to take down a successful woman.

This. But it will fall on deaf ears here.

+1 To paraphrase Madeline Albright, there's a special place in hell for women who unfairly bash other women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think we need more Sheryl Sandbergs in this world, from all backgrounds. And we all need to look for them and lift them up. What is the point in tearing her down if she's sharing her truth? If it doesn't resonate with you, change the channel or pick up another book.

I don't think we need more Sheryl Sandbergs. Do we want young women to seek out their "daddy/mentor", like she did. Decrepit old Larry Summers, president of Harvard couldn't resist helping this bright young thing, a Harvard student, mentoring her out of the goodness of his heart. If Sheryl clawed her way up without Lar Bear, I would respect her. She's a fraud and she will damage FB before it's over.

What are you talking about? She was a summa cum laude Harvard graduate, a Harvard MBA, and in addition to the time she spent working with Larry Summers at Treasury, she was a senior manager at Google before going to Facebook. For someone to attribute her success to a "daddy/mentor" is sad.