Physically heterosexual but male entitlement has ruined it for me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP phrased it oddly, but I can sort of see her point.

I'm a straight white female and this whole last year or two has made me sort of low-level pissed off at straight white dudes who act in an entitled fashion.

If I ever had time to date (I'm a single mom of a young kid and we are very active), it would probably affect my love life. It probably does affect my love life in that I'm less inclined to make the effort to date because I'm low-level annoyed at straight white guys. (my usual type.)

If I was on the market, I might be more attracted to men of color myself. It's hard to find a white man who actually understands what it's like to live in this system and not be at the top. I've only met a handful in my life. Good catches, those ones.

If you really think men of color do not feel entitled to a woman's body and her decisionmaking abilities, I've got a bridge to sell you.

Yeah, I'm a "person of color" who finds attitudes like the two PPs who ponder running off to non-white men pretty off-putting and dehumanizing, to be frank.

Non-white dudes can be sexist too. They're men just like white men are. Take people on an individual level to see that they match what you're looking for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP phrased it oddly, but I can sort of see her point.

I'm a straight white female and this whole last year or two has made me sort of low-level pissed off at straight white dudes who act in an entitled fashion.

If I ever had time to date (I'm a single mom of a young kid and we are very active), it would probably affect my love life. It probably does affect my love life in that I'm less inclined to make the effort to date because I'm low-level annoyed at straight white guys. (my usual type.)

If I was on the market, I might be more attracted to men of color myself. It's hard to find a white man who actually understands what it's like to live in this system and not be at the top. I've only met a handful in my life. Good catches, those ones.

If you really think men of color do not feel entitled to a woman's body and her decisionmaking abilities, I've got a bridge to sell you.

Yeah, I'm a "person of color" who finds attitudes like the two PPs who ponder running off to non-white men pretty off-putting and dehumanizing, to be frank.

Non-white dudes can be sexist too. They're men just like white men are. Take people on an individual level to see that they match what you're looking for.

Yes. The unspoken inference is that she isn't really into non-white men, but will swirl now that her first choice isn't working for her.

[Anonymous]

There is no more self important, narcissistic, entitled group of people than WASP women

[Anonymous]

If only women like OP would make sure to self-identify as bitter third wave feminists. That way sane, non-self hating white men can avoid you and it would save everyone a whole lot of grief.

I got your patriarchy right here, toots!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What type of helpless, spineless, uncaring baby men are you people marrying?

My spouse, though not perfect, is nothing like any man described here.

He was in the military for over 2 decades and now we own a small business.

He has never refused to help with our home and kids.

He has supported me through an advanced cancer diagnosis, while working, and arranged household help.

He is supporting our kids as they obtain their college degrees, financially.

We are not wealthy, but he works hard to get that paper.

Today alone he installed a new hot water tank and a reverse osmosis water purification system into our home.

He's the least "baby" on the planet.

I have zero idea of what men you all are running up
against.

46 year old woman here. THESE are the men I know. I don't know any men who are simply assholes. Even those who initially seem to be assholes ... usually aren't. Men are lovely, fantastic people who are different from women.

[Anonymous]

The cultural problems mentioned in this thread do not involve claiming that all men are "simply assholes."

Plenty of women fail to acknowledge the impact of patriarchy and indeed -- as some PP noted above -- are affected by it and participate in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:12:24 - you think patriarchy is disgusting? or you think anyone objecting to it is disgusting? it really wasn't clear.

The posters here who seems so amazed and shocked and think this is an abstract term from a college seminar with no relevance in the real world are quite something. That's why these problems endure. Most don't even question these behaviors or link them together or think they could ever be changed.

The problems are there, but describing them with jargon like "patriarchy" doesn't really help anything. It prompts the choir to say, "amen," but does not bring opponents to your side and tends to alienate those who are merely indifferent. Use every-day words to describe the problems and solutions.

Ah yes, the typical complaint leveled against women -- it's not that I'm opposed to the substance of your complaint, it's just that I don't like the way you talked about your complaint. You didn't ask nicely enough. You didn't offer enough detail or proof. You didn't offer solutions that (I, the male, think) are viable. The way you ask scares people off.

Do you not realize your response is emblematic of exactly the kind of privilege about which OP is complaining?

Are you referring to "tone policing"?

Why should you be exempt from treating people with the level of respect that you demand from others when expressing a concern? Seems a bit infantile to insist that others just grin and bear it as if their own feelings are irrelevant.

You do not treat people with any level of respect. You just classify people by gender. Women are beyond reproach while man are the cause of all problems. You are just a sexist bigot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP phrased it oddly, but I can sort of see her point.

I'm a straight white female and this whole last year or two has made me sort of low-level pissed off at straight white dudes who act in an entitled fashion.

If I ever had time to date (I'm a single mom of a young kid and we are very active), it would probably affect my love life. It probably does affect my love life in that I'm less inclined to make the effort to date because I'm low-level annoyed at straight white guys. (my usual type.)

If I was on the market, I might be more attracted to men of color myself. It's hard to find a white man who actually understands what it's like to live in this system and not be at the top. I've only met a handful in my life. Good catches, those ones.

If you really think men of color do not feel entitled to a woman's body and her decisionmaking abilities, I've got a bridge to sell you.

Yeah, I'm a "person of color" who finds attitudes like the two PPs who ponder running off to non-white men pretty off-putting and dehumanizing, to be frank.

Non-white dudes can be sexist too. They're men just like white men are. Take people on an individual level to see that they match what you're looking for.

I know. It's like oh I am going to punish the white men by running off with a man of color! Its wrong on so many levels. It really show how narcissistic feminists are. New flash...no one cares who you date( the expection being the poor man who gets stuck with you).

[Anonymous]

13:57 and 13:32 read together are instructive. It seems these super angry posters lack the ability to appreciate nuance -- not the feminist who posted above at 13:32.

[Anonymous]

OP has a lot in common with Milo Yiannopolous:

“Most of the reason I went gay is so I didn’t have to deal with nutty broads. Imagine how much worse they’re going to get when the passive aggressive manipulation tactics stop working because the guy can get himself off with a thinner, hotter robot any time he wants to."

[Anonymous]

I agree totally OP. A lot of my friends talk about the same thing

Men nowadays are just so.... horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree totally OP. A lot of my friends talk about the same thing

Men nowadays are just so.... horrible.

And women on this thread are just so ... imprecise. Horrible to you how?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no more self important, narcissistic, entitled group of people than WASP women

Yep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree totally OP. A lot of my friends talk about the same thing

Men nowadays are just so.... horrible.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree totally OP. A lot of my friends talk about the same thing

Men nowadays are just so.... horrible.

Why do your friends pursue such shitty potential mates?