My cleaning lady stole my engagement ring (and other jewelry) - what to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people are so thick!

OBTUSE!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I call troll. Typical story embellishment and refusing to answer real questions (like about police/insurance)

stfu

OP is off frying her turmeric flavored tuna sandwich, she is too busy to respond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I call troll. Typical story embellishment and refusing to answer real questions (like about police/insurance)

stfu

OP is off frying her turmeric flavored tuna sandwich, she is too busy to respond.

This is nowhere near as odd as the fried tuna lady. I have some real sympathy that her rings are gone and she may never get them back. There is almost no way to determine if they were taken by the cleaner, a family member, or a stranger who took advantage of an unlocked door one day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, the 4 year old totally took it and hid it!

We still haven't found where my then 4 year old hid my Fitbit two years ago. She can't remember either.

Pro tip, as I was the jewelry smuggler and hider when I was 6, check your floor vents. I stashed my mom's jewelry in there when I was playing cops & robbers with my cousins. Except I forgot which vents I used. My mom and dad were finding pieces for weeks in various vents.

Also, I hate to say it, but it may have been flushed. DD had a wicked fascination with flushing the toilet at age 4. Anything she could grab went in there and got flushed.

Since reading these suggestions about kids hiding things, we've gone through the entire house again. Vents, play stuff, bags, luggage, kitchen, whatever, etc. Hasn't turned up yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it's been 2 days since you posted. What are the chances you will post an update?

I'm here. Cleaning lady is coming tomorrow. As I mentioned earlier, I will just casually mention it and ask her to keep an eye out for it, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I always end up finding my "missing" jewelry and feel bad thinking who may have taken it etc...
Keep looking out for it.

OP here. I sincerely hope and wish to find these. I have never really lost anything of value (I'm generally very organized). SIGH. I am so heartbroken over this.

So far, the only suggestion is that I should ask her indirectly, rather than outright? Anyone else have thoughts?

Anyone else experienced something similar? Thank you.

My parents actually did have this happen to them. The person who cleaned their house, and had for a long time, stole some very expensive silverware to pay for Christmas presents for her kids. The police found the silverware at her house; she's now on a multi-year repayment plan with my parents. (I wish they would have just forgiven the debt. The whole situation is really awful.)

So, no advice. But it's not impossible that this did happen.

Hope you find the jewelry.

Wait, why didn't the housekeeper just return the silverware? Why the repayment plan?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I always end up finding my "missing" jewelry and feel bad thinking who may have taken it etc...
Keep looking out for it.

OP here. I sincerely hope and wish to find these. I have never really lost anything of value (I'm generally very organized). SIGH. I am so heartbroken over this.

So far, the only suggestion is that I should ask her indirectly, rather than outright? Anyone else have thoughts?

Anyone else experienced something similar? Thank you.

My parents actually did have this happen to them. The person who cleaned their house, and had for a long time, stole some very expensive silverware to pay for Christmas presents for her kids. The police found the silverware at her house; she's now on a multi-year repayment plan with my parents. (I wish they would have just forgiven the debt. The whole situation is really awful.)

So, no advice. But it's not impossible that this did happen.

Hope you find the jewelry.

Wait, why didn't the housekeeper just return the silverware? Why the repayment plan?

PP again - because she'd pawned it to pay for Christmas presents for her kids.

The court ordered repayment plan is that she pays something like $15 a month, basically forever. I think the compassionate thing to do would be for my parents to just forgive the debt, but they have not done that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I always end up finding my "missing" jewelry and feel bad thinking who may have taken it etc...
Keep looking out for it.

OP here. I sincerely hope and wish to find these. I have never really lost anything of value (I'm generally very organized). SIGH. I am so heartbroken over this.

So far, the only suggestion is that I should ask her indirectly, rather than outright? Anyone else have thoughts?

Anyone else experienced something similar? Thank you.

My parents actually did have this happen to them. The person who cleaned their house, and had for a long time, stole some very expensive silverware to pay for Christmas presents for her kids. The police found the silverware at her house; she's now on a multi-year repayment plan with my parents. (I wish they would have just forgiven the debt. The whole situation is really awful.)

So, no advice. But it's not impossible that this did happen.

Hope you find the jewelry.

Wait, why didn't the housekeeper just return the silverware? Why the repayment plan?

PP again - because she'd pawned it to pay for Christmas presents for her kids.

The court ordered repayment plan is that she pays something like $15 a month, basically forever. I think the compassionate thing to do would be for my parents to just forgive the debt, but they have not done that.

Sorry, I now see why the confusion. I guess the police didn't find the actual silverware at her house - they must have found other proof. I'm not sure what; maybe the receipt for the pawn shop or something like that.

[Anonymous]

This is ridiculous - call the police when you suspect a robbery has occurred. Let them do the investigation. Let the people who have access to your home know that a robbery occurred and that you have called the police.

We suspected the cleaning person when my Dad's house was robbed of jewelry in the two months after my Mom passed away. All of the contents of her jewelry box were gone.

Police investigated - my Dad didn't have to accuse the cleaning person - cleaning person confessed - she had pawned all the jewelry - Dad got insurance - cleaning lady paid some restitution - my Dad didn't press charges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is ridiculous - call the police when you suspect a robbery has occurred. Let them do the investigation. Let the people who have access to your home know that a robbery occurred and that you have called the police.

We suspected the cleaning person when my Dad's house was robbed of jewelry in the two months after my Mom passed away. All of the contents of her jewelry box were gone.

Police investigated - my Dad didn't have to accuse the cleaning person - cleaning person confessed - she had pawned all the jewelry - Dad got insurance - cleaning lady paid some restitution - my Dad didn't press charges.

How awful to lose your mother's jewelry so soon after her passing. I can't imagine having that happen on top of his grief. I'm sorry for your loss, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it's been 2 days since you posted. What are the chances you will post an update?

I'm here. Cleaning lady is coming tomorrow. As I mentioned earlier, I will just casually mention it and ask her to keep an eye out for it, etc.

Would offering a reward help? I mean, if you really think she took the items, maybe saying "I'm only interested in finding them. $XXX bonus if you locate them today." Then leave, so even if she has to run home to get them, she can claim to have found them and you get your rings back. Do the same with your family members. And follow through. In the end, it doesn't matter if they are really lost somewhere in your house (check the Roomba) or if someone took them. You really do just want them back, so what's the bonus money to you? Nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is ridiculous - call the police when you suspect a robbery has occurred. Let them do the investigation. Let the people who have access to your home know that a robbery occurred and that you have called the police.

We suspected the cleaning person when my Dad's house was robbed of jewelry in the two months after my Mom passed away. All of the contents of her jewelry box were gone.

Police investigated - my Dad didn't have to accuse the cleaning person - cleaning person confessed - she had pawned all the jewelry - Dad got insurance - cleaning lady paid some restitution - my Dad didn't press charges.

How awful to lose your mother's jewelry so soon after her passing. I can't imagine having that happen on top of his grief. I'm sorry for your loss, PP.

This is frankly horrifying. So many memories are tied to my mother's jewelry. It doesn't have much financial value but is priceless to me. I am so very sorry this happened, PP.

[Anonymous]

Thank you guys - I'm the PP telling the story about my Mom's jewelry. It's been a number of years, but it still is pretty raw. The cleaning person really took advantage of my Dad at a time when he was very vulnerable. And, the sentimental loss was pretty huge. (also, imagine that the cleaning person had been recommended by someone at his church.)
When my Dad got the insurance money, he split it among us three kids. The only stipulation on what we did with it was "please don't just pay bills." "Buy something that will be a remembrance of your Mom."
I bought a lovely pearl necklace and matching pearl/diamond earrings.
They will always be very special.

[Anonymous]

Sooooo what happened yesterday w the cleaning lady?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why everyone is acting like the OP is completely ridiculous. I love my cleaning lady and trust her implicitly, but my parents and grandparents (who live/d in a country where having domestic help is common) have had items of value stolen by their employees. It's not uncommon. I'm NOT saying that all, or even most, cleaning ladies/housekeepers/babysitters do this - I'm just saying that it's not totally ridiculous speculation to suggest that it might happen.

OP, I would check with your kids (if you haven't already) and if you have teenagers, ask if they've had friends over recently. It's unlikely they'd steal from you, but you never know. I wouldn't make any accusations, but let the cleaning lady and anyone else who has been to the house recently (including your cousin, kids' friends, etc.) know that you're missing your jewelry box and ask if they've seen it. I'd probably mention in passing that you've filed a police report ("it's probably just me being an idiot, but I filed a police report just in case.") Also double and triple check anywhere it could possibly be, and then check places you think it couldn't possibly be. I once convinced myself that I left my phone in Starbucks, went back and didn't find it, decided it had been stolen from there, panicked, and then found it later that day in my pajama drawer.

I wish with all my heart that I find these items in a random place and can have a good laugh/cry about it afterwards. I have a four year old and a 1 year old. I already ransacked the four year old's room. I also asked her about and she said, "I'm not a stealer." haha. 1 year old can barely walk.

Hold up! You have a 4 year old and a 1 year old and you are not at all suspecting the 4 year old because she said "I'm not a stealer" ?? Jesus christ OP. It's probably your 4 year old or her most recent playdate companion.

OP:

My 18 month old loves cleaning things. He loves to wipe things, and put things in the trash can. Last month, my 5 year old came to me and said, "Mommy! Larlo just threw your tablet away!" Sure enough, my 1 year old had put my tablet in the trash. If my 5 year old hadn't seen it and told me, it probably would have been thrown out and I would have never known what happened to it. We now check the trash every time we open it to put something in, and we have found many toys in there that we've pulled out. My 5 year old has also put items in his school bag and taken them to school without me knowing, and he's also taken toys to school with him to give to friends that "don't have many toys", and then told me about it afterwards. Just this morning he told me he gave his special gloves (the ones that have numbers on each finger) to his friend who had a pair like them but lost them and was upset.

Just some other scenarios of what could have happened to your jewelry box....