Who is right? Son accidentally took item - disagreement results

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I understand that the lady was crazy.

However, if it was me, I would have made sure that she gets it somehow. Even if I had to send my neighbor on Uber to drop it at her house or something. Mainly because it was my DS's fault. After that I would have never had any communication with that person because best to leave toxic people out of your life. This would be called taking the high road.

Agreed. Her unreasonable request should not outweigh taking responsibility for an unfortunate mistake.

You teach your kids to take responsibility for someone else's mistake?

javascript:emoticon(''); The kid took the swimsuit. He needs to fix this mistake. Since he is a kid, his parents need to fix the kid's mistake. You are teaching the kid to take responsibility for his own mistake. The other lady did not commit a mistake. She also offered alternatives to the OP, that the OP refused.

OP is entitled. She will raise entitled brats.

OP husband is gone away. She is alone with an infant and 6 year old. You do not ask a mom to drive alone with an infant and 6 year old to meet that distance. You either drive and get your suit or buy another one. She is not entitled. Her child and the mom driving the child made a mistake. Mistakes happen. OP can return the suit on Monday. Other mom can return the suit on Monday. OP can do a Target instore pick up or fedex the suit... lots of options but its not ok to ask someone to drive at that hour.

Why do women have children if getting in a car alone with said children is so overwhelming?

[Anonymous]

I think the other woman is crazy. It was an accident. How can the kid only have one suit?? If your kid has one irreplaceable object that is going to be needed the very next morning for a trip, don't let the kid take it to a party the day before.

OP, your mistake was offering in the first place. I would have just said I'm sorry for the mix-up, Timmy will bring it to school on Monday, or I'll get it in the mail tomorrow. No one needs to be driving anywhere at night over something that can be picked up for 10 bucks at the nearest Target.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can request an item be returned, but you have to be reasonable. It's not always possible for someone to return it immediately or at the exact date/time you specify. If someone accidentally took your sweater from the office, would it be ok to call and ask them to return it at 10pm because you really need it? Of course not.

I think it really comes down to this. Requesting the item be returned is fine. Demanding the time and place for a small item is making a mountain out of a mole hill. There is being in the right and there is being a gracious person. The requesting mom might be technically in the right in the sense that the other child made the mistake and that mistake should be righted. But, a gracious person would never ask for something onerous from another person when a small effort by herself could rectify the situation. Stopping at Target between DC and Jersey is not difficult and a nice person would have done this instead of calling in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I understand that the lady was crazy.

However, if it was me, I would have made sure that she gets it somehow. Even if I had to send my neighbor on Uber to drop it at her house or something. Mainly because it was my DS's fault. After that I would have never had any communication with that person because best to leave toxic people out of your life. This would be called taking the high road.

Agreed. Her unreasonable request should not outweigh taking responsibility for an unfortunate mistake.

You teach your kids to take responsibility for someone else's mistake?

javascript:emoticon(''); The kid took the swimsuit. He needs to fix this mistake. Since he is a kid, his parents need to fix the kid's mistake. You are teaching the kid to take responsibility for his own mistake. The other lady did not commit a mistake. She also offered alternatives to the OP, that the OP refused.

OP is entitled. She will raise entitled brats.

OP husband is gone away. She is alone with an infant and 6 year old. You do not ask a mom to drive alone with an infant and 6 year old to meet that distance. You either drive and get your suit or buy another one. She is not entitled. Her child and the mom driving the child made a mistake. Mistakes happen. OP can return the suit on Monday. Other mom can return the suit on Monday. OP can do a Target instore pick up or fedex the suit... lots of options but its not ok to ask someone to drive at that hour.

Why do women have children if getting in a car alone with said children is so overwhelming?

Women capable of spontaneous parthenogenesis really piss me off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, why do you care what DCUM thinks?

Your child took someone's swimsuit, and you did not return it to the other person. Both these acts (your son taking something, and you not returning it in time) has already happened. Why do you need DCUM to approve or disapprove? We do not know you. The other person knows you somewhat, and she does not have a good impression of you. Worry about her impression because she knows you IRL.

You really are psychotic. Buy a suit on the way there, or wait until you return. Goodness!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is your son's fault.

Agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why do you care what DCUM thinks?

Your child took someone's swimsuit, and you did not return it to the other person. Both these acts (your son taking something, and you not returning it in time) has already happened. Why do you need DCUM to approve or disapprove? We do not know you. The other person knows you somewhat, and she does not have a good impression of you. Worry about her impression because she knows you IRL.

I think once the crazy lady's request starts getting out there, she's going to be the one who has to worry what people think of her.

Over a bathing suit.

She sounds self-absorbed. There will be more stories, after this one, I imagine.

How can she be self-absorbed, when it wasn't her suit that was taken by mistake? I don't think there's anything crazy about asking for a stolen by accident item to be returned immediately. OP doesn't want to return it immediately, which means she should keep closer tabs on her child who takes other people's things, if she doesn't want to be doing this for the next 10 years.

Again the word stolen. The kid is 6/7 . Really you need to let it go and just enjoy your vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, why do you care what DCUM thinks?

Your child took someone's swimsuit, and you did not return it to the other person. Both these acts (your son taking something, and you not returning it in time) has already happened. Why do you need DCUM to approve or disapprove? We do not know you. The other person knows you somewhat, and she does not have a good impression of you. Worry about her impression because she knows you IRL.

Really strange this post? iRL?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was inconvenienced because of your son's fault. That is the fact. It does not matter if you think that her inconvenience was small. That is your opinion.

You are feeling inconvenienced because you are supposed to fix your son's fault. That was your moral obligation. But you did not allow yourself to be inconvenienced to fix your son's fault. That is your selfishness and entitlement. You are not a good role model to your children in doing the right thing. Sorry, but I am not on your side. Even though I have sympathy for your situation.

Sometime doing the right thing is not easy, but not doing the right thing is wrong.

Amen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why do you care what DCUM thinks?

Your child took someone's swimsuit, and you did not return it to the other person. Both these acts (your son taking something, and you not returning it in time) has already happened. Why do you need DCUM to approve or disapprove? We do not know you. The other person knows you somewhat, and she does not have a good impression of you. Worry about her impression because she knows you IRL.

I think once the crazy lady's request starts getting out there, she's going to be the one who has to worry what people think of her.

Over a bathing suit.

She sounds self-absorbed. There will be more stories, after this one, I imagine.

How can she be self-absorbed, when it wasn't her suit that was taken by mistake? I don't think there's anything crazy about asking for a stolen by accident item to be returned immediately. OP doesn't want to return it immediately, which means she should keep closer tabs on her child who takes other people's things, if she doesn't want to be doing this for the next 10 years.

Again the word stolen. The kid is 6/7 . Really you need to let it go and just enjoy your vacation.

Again- you don't read very well. Try it again. Sound it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was inconvenienced because of your son's fault. That is the fact. It does not matter if you think that her inconvenience was small. That is your opinion.

You are feeling inconvenienced because you are supposed to fix your son's fault. That was your moral obligation. But you did not allow yourself to be inconvenienced to fix your son's fault. That is your selfishness and entitlement. You are not a good role model to your children in doing the right thing. Sorry, but I am not on your side. Even though I have sympathy for your situation.

Sometime doing the right thing is not easy, but not doing the right thing is wrong.

Amen

+2

She actually doubly inconvenienced this other family because now they need to go out of their way on their vacation to find and buy their kid a new (second) and hopefully moderately priced swimsuit. Anyone who has had to make emergency purchases such as this, particularly in vacation spot, knows how disruptive and potentially costly it can be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was inconvenienced because of your son's fault. That is the fact. It does not matter if you think that her inconvenience was small. That is your opinion.

You are feeling inconvenienced because you are supposed to fix your son's fault. That was your moral obligation. But you did not allow yourself to be inconvenienced to fix your son's fault. That is your selfishness and entitlement. You are not a good role model to your children in doing the right thing. Sorry, but I am not on your side. Even though I have sympathy for your situation.

Sometime doing the right thing is not easy, but not doing the right thing is wrong.

Amen

Please don't say "Amen" because it's just too ironic. Forgive us our trespasses and all that.

I can't believe how petty some people are. If the other mother was inconvenienced by this small mistake, then how does she live life with a child? Because these things happen. If OP's son had taken something like their car keys or their airplane tickets or medication, I could understand the urgency, but there is no "moral obligation" to return a bathing suit in time for this woman to go on her trip to the beach, a place that has an overabundance of bathing suits for sale.

No normal, rational person would call OP entitle and selfish over this. The other woman sounds entitle and selfish to expect OP to wake her baby and drive that far at 10 pm. I would never request such a thing of someone else. Absurd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why do you care what DCUM thinks?

Your child took someone's swimsuit, and you did not return it to the other person. Both these acts (your son taking something, and you not returning it in time) has already happened. Why do you need DCUM to approve or disapprove? We do not know you. The other person knows you somewhat, and she does not have a good impression of you. Worry about her impression because she knows you IRL.

I think once the crazy lady's request starts getting out there, she's going to be the one who has to worry what people think of her.

Over a bathing suit.

She sounds self-absorbed. There will be more stories, after this one, I imagine.

How can she be self-absorbed, when it wasn't her suit that was taken by mistake? I don't think there's anything crazy about asking for a stolen by accident item to be returned immediately. OP doesn't want to return it immediately, which means she should keep closer tabs on her child who takes other people's things, if she doesn't want to be doing this for the next 10 years.

Again the word stolen. The kid is 6/7 . Really you need to let it go and just enjoy your vacation.

Again- you don't read very well. Try it again. Sound it out.

The word stolen, by definition, requires intent. Grabbing the wrong swim suit by mistake is not stealing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was inconvenienced because of your son's fault. That is the fact. It does not matter if you think that her inconvenience was small. That is your opinion.

You are feeling inconvenienced because you are supposed to fix your son's fault. That was your moral obligation. But you did not allow yourself to be inconvenienced to fix your son's fault. That is your selfishness and entitlement. You are not a good role model to your children in doing the right thing. Sorry, but I am not on your side. Even though I have sympathy for your situation.

Sometime doing the right thing is not easy, but not doing the right thing is wrong.

Amen

+2

She actually doubly inconvenienced this other family because now they need to go out of their way on their vacation to find and buy their kid a new (second) and hopefully moderately priced swimsuit. Anyone who has had to make emergency purchases such as this, particularly in vacation spot, knows how disruptive and potentially costly it can be.

Trying to find swim trunks for a boy at a place like the Jersey Shore is impossibly disruptive. Be prepared to tap into your HELOC.

[Anonymous]

Where is op? She hasn't come back... driving to Baltimore??