Typical SAHM with school aged kids day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP who poster her schedule. I think the bantering has a lot to do with jealousy and refusal to accept that there is value in serving your family at home. Not everyone agrees on what the value is exactly, but everyone family has the right to decide what it's worth to them. I may go back to work someday. I don't know. But what I know is that serving my children and husband and making our home lives run smoothly is worth it to me. I don't view it as degenerating myself or putting women back. I just enjoy it and am lucky enough that we can afford to live on one income (although we live in "shudder" Prince William County).

I can guarantee the majority of women who don't respect the contributions of SAHMs with schoolage kids aren't jealous. I certainly do think there is value in staying home when kids are little (though I wouldn't call it "serving my husband and children - *shudder*). I think doing it beyond that reeks of laziness and dependency.

You know, I once thought the same way, but then my sister decided to stay home once the kids were both in school. That woman is a hard worker. She is incredibly motivated and organized and does a TON of things that I never could. And her family has a very calm life because she takes care of everything. Eliminating the stress of keeping everything in order, dr's visit scheduled, food cooked, home beautiful, yard work, finances planned, and the million other things does amazing things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading through these, I would LOVE to be a SAHM to school aged kids. My husband offered when the kids were babies, but I wasn't in to it then. But when the kids are in school all day, it seems to be a lot of working out, cooking, reading, faffing around (I mean that in the nicest way possible). It sounds like my dream weekends on the rare days when DH takes the kids out all day. Who wouldn't want that to be their main activity?

FWIW, I like aspects of my job but I don't kind myself that I'm not out there curing cancer. I could easily make the switch and not feel bad if we had the money.

I could too, but DH wouldn't respect me and my parents raised me to always have my own income/keep my foot in the door (even if part-time for awhile) so I 'need' to work.

I'm fortunate to be a GS-15 WAH Fed. DH makes 3 times my salary, but we use my work's health benefits and I am also contributing towards retirement.

I think it is sad that your husband wouldn't respect you. Really sad.

Would you respect your husband if he didn't make the money to support you?

Of course. I could go back to my Biglaw partner job and he could handle everything at home. Why wouldn't I respect him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP who poster her schedule. I think the bantering has a lot to do with jealousy and refusal to accept that there is value in serving your family at home. Not everyone agrees on what the value is exactly, but everyone family has the right to decide what it's worth to them. I may go back to work someday. I don't know. But what I know is that serving my children and husband and making our home lives run smoothly is worth it to me. I don't view it as degenerating myself or putting women back. I just enjoy it and am lucky enough that we can afford to live on one income (although we live in "shudder" Prince William County).

I can guarantee the majority of women who don't respect the contributions of SAHMs with schoolage kids aren't jealous. I certainly do think there is value in staying home when kids are little (though I wouldn't call it "serving my husband and children - *shudder*). I think doing it beyond that reeks of laziness and dependency.

You know, I once thought the same way, but then my sister decided to stay home once the kids were both in school. That woman is a hard worker. She is incredibly motivated and organized and does a TON of things that I never could. And her family has a very calm life because she takes care of everything. Eliminating the stress of keeping everything in order, dr's visit scheduled, food cooked, home beautiful, yard work, finances planned, and the million other things does amazing things.

+1. I think too many people fall into the trap of believing that if they're not busy with "must-does" all the time, their life is lacking purpose. There is tremendous purpose in the things we choose to do because they bring us joy, even if they aren't "must-does" for the household to function.

[Anonymous]

Would I respect my husband if he did the hard work I did for my kids I, our home and other family members, our community and neighbors? Absolutely.

[Anonymous]

Ok I WOHM and on days I'm home I still have a 2 yr old.

But in my imaginarium, when all are in school it would go as such: DH and I get kids off to school. Go back to bed and get it on for a while. Then either go for a run/exercise/walk the dog or nap... get up by noon, make lunch. He works from home while I clean up/do laundry/organize the clutter of life/finalize dinner ideas/prep. On other days we may go to a matinee or clothing shopping for a couple hours. Pick up kids, tackle homework, hang out together til bedtime.

Awesome. But after a few months I think it would get old fast unless I found an activity to improve myself like going back to school, getting more credentials or learning/improving a skill like yoga or martial arts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading through these, I would LOVE to be a SAHM to school aged kids. My husband offered when the kids were babies, but I wasn't in to it then. But when the kids are in school all day, it seems to be a lot of working out, cooking, reading, faffing around (I mean that in the nicest way possible). It sounds like my dream weekends on the rare days when DH takes the kids out all day. Who wouldn't want that to be their main activity?

FWIW, I like aspects of my job but I don't kind myself that I'm not out there curing cancer. I could easily make the switch and not feel bad if we had the money.

I could too, but DH wouldn't respect me and my parents raised me to always have my own income/keep my foot in the door (even if part-time for awhile) so I 'need' to work.

I'm fortunate to be a GS-15 WAH Fed. DH makes 3 times my salary, but we use my work's health benefits and I am also contributing towards retirement.

I think it is sad that your husband wouldn't respect you. Really sad.

Would you respect your husband if he didn't make the money to support you?

It's amazing to me that to some of you, the only value in a spouse is their ability to make money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP who poster her schedule. I think the bantering has a lot to do with jealousy and refusal to accept that there is value in serving your family at home. Not everyone agrees on what the value is exactly, but everyone family has the right to decide what it's worth to them. I may go back to work someday. I don't know. But what I know is that serving my children and husband and making our home lives run smoothly is worth it to me. I don't view it as degenerating myself or putting women back. I just enjoy it and am lucky enough that we can afford to live on one income (although we live in "shudder" Prince William County).

I can guarantee the majority of women who don't respect the contributions of SAHMs with schoolage kids aren't jealous. I certainly do think there is value in staying home when kids are little (though I wouldn't call it "serving my husband and children - *shudder*). I think doing it beyond that reeks of laziness and dependency.

I'm a PP (who walks dog, cleans up, cooks, etc)...my youngest just went to K this year. It's my first time since having my kids that I am home alone. It's amazing. People are always complaining they don't have any "me" time (I've seems lots of threads on THAT)..and, finally, I have some, and you call it lazy? My life is relaxed, orderly, content, happy..what the F is the crime in that? Husband loves his job. No issue/conflict there.

[Anonymous]

One of mine is still in part-time preschool but I'm almost there. I run errands; clean; work out; walk the dog; pick the children up; help with homework; shuttle to activities; volunteer at school, church, and one other organization; have plenty of time to keep up with friends; read a lot. Not pretending that makes me busy because it doesn't, but I like not being busy, and I'm never bored. I get to go on every field trip and I'm home for every sick day. We never have to scramble when my husband has to work late or when he's traveling. We never have to run errands on the weekends. I plan on freelancing a tiny bit once my youngest is in school full-time, but probably not enough to satisfy the naysayers here. So be it. I understand why it's not for everyone but it definitely works for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading through these, I would LOVE to be a SAHM to school aged kids. My husband offered when the kids were babies, but I wasn't in to it then. But when the kids are in school all day, it seems to be a lot of working out, cooking, reading, faffing around (I mean that in the nicest way possible). It sounds like my dream weekends on the rare days when DH takes the kids out all day. Who wouldn't want that to be their main activity?

FWIW, I like aspects of my job but I don't kind myself that I'm not out there curing cancer. I could easily make the switch and not feel bad if we had the money.

I could too, but DH wouldn't respect me and my parents raised me to always have my own income/keep my foot in the door (even if part-time for awhile) so I 'need' to work.

I'm fortunate to be a GS-15 WAH Fed. DH makes 3 times my salary, but we use my work's health benefits and I am also contributing towards retirement.

I think it is sad that your husband wouldn't respect you. Really sad.

Would you respect your husband if he didn't make the money to support you?

It's amazing to me that to some of you, the only value in a spouse is their ability to make money.

Say the SAHs that rely on their husband's salary to support the whole family.

I value a more egalitarian relationship and the 1950s model of man makes $ and woman cleans and cooks isn't that. Putting some financial burden on I e person is stressful.

Again, we aren't talking about a place and time such as when kids are I nfants and toddlers---we are talking about quitting work early 30s and having 6.5 hours of solitude at home while the kids are at school and spouse puts in 8-12 hour work days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, these aren't lives.

Begone, troll

Not a troll. Think it's pathetic that women go to the gym, "do paperwork" (whatever), and get pedicures and call it a day. Hope they have more ami iron for their daughters.

I have a husband who travels frequently when not working from home. Our life would be chaos and I would be a resentful mess if I was back at my 60 hour a week career in finance which also included frequent travel. I had a tremendously successful career which I'm happy to talk to my children about. I'm also happy to teach them about being adaptable and that I could make the choice to do what was best for an entire family of people because I loved them. Our house is peaceful and their lives are better because of the choice my husband and I made. You may find that pathetic but I'm quite proud of all of the choices I've made as well as the home life we've created for our kids. Luckily your judgment doesn't affect me in any way. You may not think you are a troll but you certainly aren't the sort of woman I would hope my daughter turns out to be.

I'm not paying for college to see my daughter stay home.

Hopefully your daughter is smarter than her mom and will pay her own way through college. That way, she won't have any restrictions on the way in which she chooses to live her life. Or raise her children.

paid for - too late

Wow, I can't even imagine a mother telling her grown daughter she'd better put her kids in daycare... or else. Those lucky grandkids, to have such a loving grandma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get up around 7:20. Wake kids up, fed, and out the door by 8. I drive them to school, back home by 9. Have light breakfast with DH who is retired. Go to gym together to workout with trainers at 11:00. Take a class usually spinning with DH. Shower. Get dressed.

Have lunch out. Come home. Run errands. Sometimes DH and I go to the movies. Pick up kids. Take them to various activities. Make dinner. Relax. Go to bed.

If your husband is retired why are you the one doing the school run every day?

Maybe he's homebound.

Oh, FFS. Seriously? Maybe she enjoys doing the school run, is that so terrible? I'm sure he does it too. You people are just searching with a fine toothed comb to find something - anything - to criticize. It would be amusing if it wasn't so pathetic.

[Anonymous]

This egalitarian fantasy where both parents work outside the home and everything is shared equally would be great if it worked out that way for everyone, but my husband's job, which he loves, doesn't lend itself to much flexibility. He can be home by dinner and bedtime, but would almost never be able to be home in time to pick up from aftercare, for example. Sick days and snow days would be very hard for him to cover. That's okay for us, because I like being at home. Some people here seem to advocate me leaning in in a way I don't want to and my husband leaning back in a way he doesn't want to, just for the sake of splitting things 50-50. I can see why some would want that, of course, but that does not work for us. This does. It may seem too retro to you, but that's a good reason for you not to do it. It feels very fair and equal to us. Even when I worked, I got the most satisfaction and validation from things outside of work. Still do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading through these, I would LOVE to be a SAHM to school aged kids. My husband offered when the kids were babies, but I wasn't in to it then. But when the kids are in school all day, it seems to be a lot of working out, cooking, reading, faffing around (I mean that in the nicest way possible). It sounds like my dream weekends on the rare days when DH takes the kids out all day. Who wouldn't want that to be their main activity?

FWIW, I like aspects of my job but I don't kind myself that I'm not out there curing cancer. I could easily make the switch and not feel bad if we had the money.

I could too, but DH wouldn't respect me and my parents raised me to always have my own income/keep my foot in the door (even if part-time for awhile) so I 'need' to work.

I'm fortunate to be a GS-15 WAH Fed. DH makes 3 times my salary, but we use my work's health benefits and I am also contributing towards retirement.

Really glad I didn't marry a man who wouldn't respect me for taking care of our own children. Don't know whether to laugh or cry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok I WOHM and on days I'm home I still have a 2 yr old.

But in my imaginarium, when all are in school it would go as such: DH and I get kids off to school. Go back to bed and get it on for a while. Then either go for a run/exercise/walk the dog or nap... get up by noon, make lunch. He works from home while I clean up/do laundry/organize the clutter of life/finalize dinner ideas/prep. On other days we may go to a matinee or clothing shopping for a couple hours. Pick up kids, tackle homework, hang out together til bedtime.

Awesome. But after a few months I think it would get old fast unless I found an activity to improve myself like going back to school, getting more credentials or learning/improving a skill like yoga or martial arts.

Okay, so what? Most of the SAHMs I know aren't sitting around letting their brains atrophy, they're often learning new skills or hobbies, or teaching themselves how to do things rather than throwing money at problems. During the time I've been a SAHM, I've trained for a triathlon, learned to knit and sew (my daughter loves being able to choose exactly what her clothes will look like so I make a lot of hers; my son couldn't care less so I buy his stuff), taught myself how to build closet shelving so I could do my own custom shelving for the pantry and broom closet (I didn't like what was in there before), and am now developing those skills further to make built-ins for our mud room. Our house is getting ready for a freshening up, so I'm also doing some online interior design courses/tutorials so I can do it myself rather than hiring a professional. I've used various courses and programs to gain basic proficiency in my in-laws' native language so that I can carry on a conversation when we visit their family back in their home country. My history education growing up wasn't great, but I've really gotten into historical fiction lately so when I'm reading a book about a time/place I'm not familiar with, I use my free time to do some research and learning. I've taught myself to do all manner of home repair so that when an outlet stops working, a faucet starts leaking, or the fence gate won't close anymore, I can just take care of it myself right then (or after a trip to the store) rather than waiting for my husband to come home or call an electrician/plumber/fence company for everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am honestly curious about WOHM schedules. Particularly, the hours you see your kids and the things you do. Please detail. TIA!

Yes, I'm honestly curious too! No judgment or anything!