Petty In-Law and/or house guest vents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had a house guest (former fraternity brother of DH) who was a real treat. The first time I met him, he asked me to iron a shirt for him and dug into the closed bag of snacks & drinks I'd packed in the fridge for a road trip and asked if he could have them, despite a ton of other options staring him in the face. He was also super annoyed that we didn't want him to continue staying at our place after we left on that road trip even though we were clear about it ahead of time.

I hope you didn't iron his shirt for him!!??!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never knew the world was full of intolerant assholes--or is it just that this ilk is drawn to the DC metro area?

It's called "petty venting"...no one here is screaming at their guests or whatever. This is a "safe space" for letting off some steam. What about the title and tenor of this thread did you not understand?

[Anonymous]

People who leave their stuff strewn about...especially on my kitchen island, where I cook.

Put your stuff in your room! You have a full-size bedroom with a walk-in closet and a private guest bathroom with shower. How much more space do you need?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you are a guest in someone else's home, especially if they have kids or are off to work, need to go with the flow of the household they are visiting.

absolutely agree with this. remember, this philosophy goes hand-in-hand with the host, it's their responsibility to make a welcoming environment for visitors. both parts must go together, when they don't, feelings get hurt. yes it is inconvenient to go out of your way to make small adjustments so your guests enjoy their time with you and feel welcome, just as it's inconvenient to be traveling and imposing on someone's space, and being polite in deferring to their daily schedule.

[Anonymous]

my petty vent about my in-laws (who I absolutely adore so it really is just a petty grievance) is that they are not used to/have never had meal times when everyone sits down to eat the same meal together at the same time and so when they visit, I'll frequently come upon, for instance, my FIL having a bowl of ice cream at say 4pm and then clearly won't have much of an appetite for dinner (but will eat anyway, to be polite) or my MIL will check out the lunch options while I'm preparing lunch and then say ' oh that looks really good but I'm just not hungry at all; I had a big breakfast'

They are just not big eaters and not big on traditions or having any set way of doing things. It used to bug me so much but now that I'm used to it I have just accepted it and don't worry about it anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never knew the world was full of intolerant assholes--or is it just that this ilk is drawn to the DC metro area?

It's called "petty venting"...no one here is screaming at their guests or whatever. This is a "safe space" for letting off some steam. What about the title and tenor of this thread did you not understand?

I completely understood the title of the thread. I am simply dumbfounded that people really are this petty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never knew the world was full of intolerant assholes--or is it just that this ilk is drawn to the DC metro area?

It's called "petty venting"...no one here is screaming at their guests or whatever. This is a "safe space" for letting off some steam. What about the title and tenor of this thread did you not understand?

I completely understood the title of the thread. I am simply dumbfounded that people really are this petty.

Because you're so tolerant and well-mannered that you call people "assholes."

[Anonymous]

Grandparents, take note: if a parent is within eyesight/earshot of the child, and is actively parenting them, you don't need to pile on with the instructions and corrections. I don't need my FIL barking "put that down!" When I have JUST said it. Kids don't need three adults telling them the same thing at the same time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you are a guest in someone else's home, especially if they have kids or are off to work, need to go with the flow of the household they are visiting.

absolutely agree with this. remember, this philosophy goes hand-in-hand with the host, it's their responsibility to make a welcoming environment for visitors. both parts must go together, when they don't, feelings get hurt. yes it is inconvenient to go out of your way to make small adjustments so your guests enjoy their time with you and feel welcome, just as it's inconvenient to be traveling and imposing on someone's space, and being polite in deferring to their daily schedule.

Yup

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who are that obsessed with coffee or cocktail hour, who neeeeeed them noww, are addicts. It's annoying for those of us who can enjoy these things casually and in a laid-back manner.

You sure sound laid-back!

[Anonymous]

Please don't put your feet up on my coffee table with your shoes on! You are already ignoring my preference for shoes off in my home--why are you putting your shoes on my furniture?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grandparents, take note: if a parent is within eyesight/earshot of the child, and is actively parenting them, you don't need to pile on with the instructions and corrections. I don't need my FIL barking "put that down!" When I have JUST said it. Kids don't need three adults telling them the same thing at the same time.

+1

my dad does this. drives me crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In-laws who expect to be entertained/conversed with by the WHOLE family every single minute. My husband was in the bathroom earlier today, and they both were all, "Where's Joe?"

He's taking a dump, OK? Do you want him to leave the door open next time so you can chat?

And I'm not exaggerating. They never, ever are OK with people "disappearing" to be alone for a few minutes, even when both kids are napping!

My in-laws are like this too. And then someone (frequently MIL) will respond: "Joe is using the toilet. I don't think he's feeling well." They have a big stack of Bathroom Readers in the powder room downstairs. Grosses me out.

My FIL also picks his feet. Lovingly, obsessively, during marathon hangout sessions on our holiday visits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I know it's not the same, but my peeve is guests who have to have COFFEE OMG coffee first thing. I drink coffee. It's made by 7 am at the latest. But my priority is getting up with my daughter and getting her needs met. My parents and in-laws are practically chomping at the bit. If I don't set it up the night before, my dad rattles around at 5:45 making it. At least he's clean about it. My MIL will get grounds and water everywhere. With my ILs, I make a full pot, have one small cup myself, and they want another full pot.

It's just like...calm down. When I'm a guest in someone else's home, I drink a cup if there is a pot, when it is made, and I don't go sniffing around for it.

"It's not important to me, and thus it shouldn't be important to anyone!"

Set up the coffeemaker the night before. Leave the stuff out so they can make a second pot if they want one. Buy cheap coffee if this is a budget issue. Otherwise, stop policing what other people ingest.

Good Lord. You don't want to talk with me in the morning before I have coffee. Do what the PP suggests and just set it up the night before, or ask them too. Some people just drink a lot of coffee--as this thread suggests, better that than alcohol!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my petty vent about my in-laws (who I absolutely adore so it really is just a petty grievance) is that they are not used to/have never had meal times when everyone sits down to eat the same meal together at the same time and so when they visit, I'll frequently come upon, for instance, my FIL having a bowl of ice cream at say 4pm and then clearly won't have much of an appetite for dinner (but will eat anyway, to be polite) or my MIL will check out the lunch options while I'm preparing lunch and then say ' oh that looks really good but I'm just not hungry at all; I had a big breakfast'

They are just not big eaters and not big on traditions or having any set way of doing things. It used to bug me so much but now that I'm used to it I have just accepted it and don't worry about it anymore.

You and I should trade in-laws. Mine expect every meal on the table at specific times. I don't mind cooking and serving dinner for everyone, but IMO, breakfast and lunch are fix-it-yourself meals. I don't see why I should have to drop everything I'm doing because FIL wants a bowl of instant oatmeal or a ham sandwich prepared and served to him. At one point I walked into the kitchen to find that FIL decided to "help me out" and set the table. So I walk in and find FIL sitting alone at a fully set table. Yes, I get the hint but setting the table does not help me one iota when I am still expected to cook, serve, and clean up after every single meal.