Petty In-Law and/or house guest vents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please don't arrive after a 3 hour "road trip" with a full-size Coleman cooler that you unpack into my already full fridge and freezer. It's 3 hours. Why did you need to bring:
-a loaf of bread
-prepared sandwiches
-an entire bag of grapes
-half a jar of mayo
-a large thermos of iced tea
-a pint of blueberries
-chocolate chip cookies wrapped in foil wrapped in plastic wrapped in a plastic bag
-7 ice packs

Come. On.

I would assume these people are Jewish but the mayo is throwing me off. The cookies wrapped in foil, plastic, and a bag, absolutely. In my family this is very common. While leaving an older Jewish person's house, also be prepared to leave with a bag like this. It may contain random canned foods - "you can just keep it around until you need it." For example, my parents never really cook any more so they don't really need a lot of canned food. We also have never eaten that much canned food either way. But my dad buys cans every time he goes to the store, just in case. Then he has a lot of extra cans, which need to be shared.

[Anonymous]

Please don't strip your bed and throw your wet towels on the floor in a pile. Just make your bed and hang up your towels. That way I can deal with making up your suite on my schedule and not on yours. Nice idea?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please don't strip your bed and throw your wet towels on the floor in a pile. Just make your bed and hang up your towels. That way I can deal with making up your suite on my schedule and not on yours. Nice idea?

Agreed! Or better yet, ask me what I prefer. I'll let you know if I want it stripped (if I know I'm doing laundry that day) or if I want you to just leave it all where it is. It's a nice thought for people to help, but always a good idea to find out what would be truly helpful to the host.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I ask you if you need anything while you are here, don't say No, then go shopping when you get here. (Especially when your visits here are around 36 hours). Just tell me what you need and I'll pick them up before hand.

Why is that rude? I think it's uncomfortable for a guest to have to ask "Is it o.k. if I make myself a sandwich? Is it o.k. if I eat some of this cereal? Is it o.k. for me to have this bottled water?"

And some guests don't feel comfortable giving their hosts shopping lists. They prefer to contribute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don't strip your bed and throw your wet towels on the floor in a pile. Just make your bed and hang up your towels. That way I can deal with making up your suite on my schedule and not on yours. Nice idea?

Agreed! Or better yet, ask me what I prefer. I'll let you know if I want it stripped (if I know I'm doing laundry that day) or if I want you to just leave it all where it is. It's a nice thought for people to help, but always a good idea to find out what would be truly helpful to the host.

+1

[Anonymous]

I appreciate offers to help, and I'll take you up on your kind offer! But when I let you know what would be helpful *to me in that moment,* don't second-guess me and try to convince me that something else would be more helpful.

MIL: "Is there anything I can do to help with dinner?"
Me: "Yes, thank you...would you please fill and set water glasses on the dining room table? That's it, and then I've got it covered."
MIL: "Are you sure? I can make the salad! I also can stir that soup for you."
Me: "No, thanks; if you get that water for me, that would be great."
MIL: "You never let me help!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don't arrive after a 3 hour "road trip" with a full-size Coleman cooler that you unpack into my already full fridge and freezer. It's 3 hours. Why did you need to bring:
-a loaf of bread
-prepared sandwiches
-an entire bag of grapes
-half a jar of mayo
-a large thermos of iced tea
-a pint of blueberries
-chocolate chip cookies wrapped in foil wrapped in plastic wrapped in a plastic bag
-7 ice packs

Come. On.

I would assume these people are Jewish but the mayo is throwing me off. The cookies wrapped in foil, plastic, and a bag, absolutely. In my family this is very common. While leaving an older Jewish person's house, also be prepared to leave with a bag like this. It may contain random canned foods - "you can just keep it around until you need it." For example, my parents never really cook any more so they don't really need a lot of canned food. We also have never eaten that much canned food either way. But my dad buys cans every time he goes to the store, just in case. Then he has a lot of extra cans, which need to be shared.

Not necessarily. My own Jewish parents would never do this. My decidedly not-Jewish southern in laws do it every time. It used to bother me, but I love them, so now I just consider it a funny quirk.

[Anonymous]

Just had a Thanksgiving house guest call up to ask "what would be served" for lunches and dinners on the days before and after Thanksgiving.

I told her I'd have to call her back...in a few weeks!

[Anonymous]

I detest house guests who invite themselves to stay with us and then expect us to play tour guide. Usually they are obscure family friends I barely know, or relatives who never made any attempt to keep in touch with me, or visit me at all, back when I lived in the US.

Also, we have jobs, people. Just because you are staying at our home for the entire two weeks of your "dream vacation" doesn't mean that we can go out to eat every night and take days off to accompany you around. Especially since I barely know you and you are only here because I didn't want to hurt my grandma, who really wants us cousins-who-barely-know-each-other to have a relationship.

And breathe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I detest house guests who invite themselves to stay with us and then expect us to play tour guide. Usually they are obscure family friends I barely know, or relatives who never made any attempt to keep in touch with me, or visit me at all, back when I lived in the US.

Also, we have jobs, people. Just because you are staying at our home for the entire two weeks of your "dream vacation" doesn't mean that we can go out to eat every night and take days off to accompany you around. Especially since I barely know you and you are only here because I didn't want to hurt my grandma, who really wants us cousins-who-barely-know-each-other to have a relationship.

And breathe.

Even if they just want a home base of operations, there's this air of "plan my DC trip for me." I always offer good tips and they do only the touristy, played-out stuff anyway...