What makes kids so expensive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I didn't. I explained in detail how our children were cared for as infants and toddlers.

Most people I know used a similar combination of care, including staggering maternity and paternity leave and taking the full 22 weeks each for almost a full year at home divided by both parents.

BTW back up care is a common benefit offered by many DC area companies for a limited number of days per year. Check with your HR dept, you may have it and just not realize. Typically it's either offered at no cost or a low co pay for the employee.

And it's been stated many, many times before that your "most" people does not seem to include the large proportion of families who aren't able to take that much time away from work, be self employed, have free/cheap back-up care, AND get their kids into a decent charter school with 6 weeks of free summer camp at age 2.

To answer OP's question: some combination of housing, daycare, activities, clothes, orthodontics, schools/tutors/enrichment, college savings, camp and food is what makes kids expensive, although there are obviously ways to save $$ on many of those factors.

[Anonymous]

Right, because you live in a rich privileged bubble where you simply don't know/meet normal people. Try talking to the parents at your kids school next time you are there and ask them about the creative ways they handle their childcare arrangements. Chances are that many of those you think are "stay at home" parents have full time jobs.

[Anonymous]

The issues that need to be taken care of for a child are:

Housing - they take up space, as does their stuff

Care - they cannot care for themselves for some time, the options cost in some way, either through a SAH or flexibly scheduled parent. We paid a lot in childcare befor public school, we currently use scheduling flexibility to care for them. Either one has a cost. Time has a value and an impact on salary potential.

School - this is really a personal thing, there really are differences in educational options out there that I had never anticipated pre-children. I am very risk averse so we paid a premium to live close in with good schools, that is not the only option.

Activities - varies by family but if you are a person that will want to support your children's interests this can get expensive

Summer camp - a varient on care. Also a personal choice, I choose a mix of high cost camps because I think they are great for my kids and I can afford them, they are not the only option. I know parents that mix up the inexpensive DPR camps with more expensive camps to bring the average cost down. I do just 6 weeks of expensive camps and then use leave or family care for the rest of the summer.

I spend what I do because I actually get joy out of supporting my kids how I can. At an older age it is more about choices and less about fundamental care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right, because you live in a rich privileged bubble where you simply don't know/meet normal people. Try talking to the parents at your kids school next time you are there and ask them about the creative ways they handle their childcare arrangements. Chances are that many of those you think are "stay at home" parents have full time jobs.

Well, I know that my charter school doesn't offer six weeks of free summer camp, so they don't match your situation right off the bat. I think you don't understand what "normal" means. The rich, privileged people aren't HAVING this conversation at all because they have a SAHM or a nanny. Believe me, it's not a privilege to be scrambling to pay for childcare or rushing to pick up your child by the time aftercare closes because we don't work 10 minutes away from school. It's great that you have such a wonderful set-up for your family, but it's not NORMAL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right, because you live in a rich privileged bubble where you simply don't know/meet normal people. Try talking to the parents at your kids school next time you are there and ask them about the creative ways they handle their childcare arrangements. Chances are that many of those you think are "stay at home" parents have full time jobs.

Well, I know that my charter school doesn't offer six weeks of free summer camp, so they don't match your situation right off the bat. I think you don't understand what "normal" means. The rich, privileged people aren't HAVING this conversation at all because they have a SAHM or a nanny. Believe me, it's not a privilege to be scrambling to pay for childcare or rushing to pick up your child by the time aftercare closes because we don't work 10 minutes away from school. It's great that you have such a wonderful set-up for your family, but it's not NORMAL.

Are you new to charters this year? Many (most?) offered free camp last year and previous years. Sadly funding is not available this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right, because you live in a rich privileged bubble where you simply don't know/meet normal people. Try talking to the parents at your kids school next time you are there and ask them about the creative ways they handle their childcare arrangements. Chances are that many of those you think are "stay at home" parents have full time jobs.

Well, I know that my charter school doesn't offer six weeks of free summer camp, so they don't match your situation right off the bat. I think you don't understand what "normal" means. The rich, privileged people aren't HAVING this conversation at all because they have a SAHM or a nanny. Believe me, it's not a privilege to be scrambling to pay for childcare or rushing to pick up your child by the time aftercare closes because we don't work 10 minutes away from school. It's great that you have such a wonderful set-up for your family, but it's not NORMAL.

Are you new to charters this year? Many (most?) offered free camp last year and previous years. Sadly funding is not available this year.

Ha, no, I am definitely not new to charters. Ours offered one for two weeks only, but we also had to pay for aftercare.

[Anonymous]

I don't know of any charter that offered 6 weeks of camp plus school until 4, 4:15 before they stick your kid in aftercare.

Ours offered 2 weeks of camp in prior years but we had to pay for aftercare because we couldn't get to school by 3:30 (which would mean leeavinf work at 2:45), which is not a full days work because I cannot start at 6:30 am. Anyway what are you going to do this year since funding has been cut?

My work does not offer free back up care, nor does my husbands. I took the full 6 weeks of leave offered in DC (not 22 at the time)! It still doesn't explain how you did childcare until the youngest was almost 3!

Our costs involve childcare, food, stuff, and space. We don't spend a ton but it does still cost money. More than $6k a year for childcare for school age kid. Aftercare is $450 a month plus some winter beak camp, summer camp etc which on a daily basis is more than I used to pay for daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know of any charter that offered 6 weeks of camp plus school until 4, 4:15 before they stick your kid in aftercare.

Ours offered 2 weeks of camp in prior years but we had to pay for aftercare because we couldn't get to school by 3:30 (which would mean leeavinf work at 2:45), which is not a full days work because I cannot start at 6:30 am. Anyway what are you going to do this year since funding has been cut?

My work does not offer free back up care, nor does my husbands. I took the full 6 weeks of leave offered in DC (not 22 at the time)! It still doesn't explain how you did childcare until the youngest was almost 3!

Our costs involve childcare, food, stuff, and space. We don't spend a ton but it does still cost money. More than $6k a year for childcare for school age kid. Aftercare is $450 a month plus some winter beak camp, summer camp etc which on a daily basis is more than I used to pay for daycare.

Sigh. See my post at 9:33am for details of our childcare arrangements for before our kids went to school and what we're doing for camp this year.

Also, how old are your kids? Because the right to up to 32 weeks of family and medical leave (minimum of 22 weeks for most people -- that is an uncomplicated vaginal birth, or 16 weeks if you adopt or are not the one who gave birth) is part of the District of Columbia Family and Medical Leave Act of 1990. So unless your kids are now 25 (in which case I don't understand why your kids are still in charter schools) you did have that right, if you were eligible. (Feds are not, in which case you get 12, not 6).

[Anonymous]

Question for the very frugal PP. I am intrigued by your lifestyle. But here's a question: You and your DH both work FT and yet your HHI is just $99K. Do you think you could make better salaries if you were to have just a bit of steady childcare? Seems like you could have a lot of earnings potential with your determination and good writing skills. Do you aspire to higher salaries? I just feel like there are a lot of opportunity costs here. Perhaps one of you could just try to work FT and make more, and then one of you could just stay home instead of doing this big juggle?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question for the very frugal PP. I am intrigued by your lifestyle. But here's a question: You and your DH both work FT and yet your HHI is just $99K. Do you think you could make better salaries if you were to have just a bit of steady childcare? Seems like you could have a lot of earnings potential with your determination and good writing skills. Do you aspire to higher salaries? I just feel like there are a lot of opportunity costs here. Perhaps one of you could just try to work FT and make more, and then one of you could just stay home instead of doing this big juggle?

Another PP here, I addressed this in an earlier post, too, but PP ignored it.

The 9:33 discussion for under-3 care is very muddled, but I guess the takeaway is that maternity leave and then DH ws home for 6 years, and worked when kids slept and then when she got home, b/c he runs his own business (maybe some kind of website business?). Its likely that kind of spotty work schedule makes it hard for both of them to 'lean in'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question for the very frugal PP. I am intrigued by your lifestyle. But here's a question: You and your DH both work FT and yet your HHI is just $99K. Do you think you could make better salaries if you were to have just a bit of steady childcare? Seems like you could have a lot of earnings potential with your determination and good writing skills. Do you aspire to higher salaries? I just feel like there are a lot of opportunity costs here. Perhaps one of you could just try to work FT and make more, and then one of you could just stay home instead of doing this big juggle?

To be honest, I don't think it's much of a juggle. About 10 years ago (pre kids) I turned down several job offers with six figure salaries in favor of my current job which offers more flexibility and more regular hours (e.g. I work 40 hours rather than 50-60), plus less travel, than the higher paid jobs would have done. It was the right choice then, and even more so now -- I have no interest in seeking out those opportunities again. Plus the extra money wouldn't significantly offset the additional costs or stresses on the family.

My husband likely will become an employee somewhere at some point in the next few years which will increase his earning power. However, he works in a very low paying field and there's little scope for him to earn a lot more without a major career change. Plus he finds his work fulfilling on the whole, which is important. If he does take a job where he is a full time employee for an organization we may have to look at other childcare options, though I still think it likely that he could take the kids to school before work and I could pick them up afterwards. That's a common arrangement for many families and he prefers to start work later and I prefer to start earlier.

[Anonymous]

Parents make kids expensive by signing them up for unnecessary classes, tutoring , sports, etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for the very frugal PP. I am intrigued by your lifestyle. But here's a question: You and your DH both work FT and yet your HHI is just $99K. Do you think you could make better salaries if you were to have just a bit of steady childcare? Seems like you could have a lot of earnings potential with your determination and good writing skills. Do you aspire to higher salaries? I just feel like there are a lot of opportunity costs here. Perhaps one of you could just try to work FT and make more, and then one of you could just stay home instead of doing this big juggle?

Another PP here, I addressed this in an earlier post, too, but PP ignored it.

The 9:33 discussion for under-3 care is very muddled, but I guess the takeaway is that maternity leave and then DH ws home for 6 years, and worked when kids slept and then when she got home, b/c he runs his own business (maybe some kind of website business?). Its likely that kind of spotty work schedule makes it hard for both of them to 'lean in'

OPEN your mind. There are many fields of work with non-traditional work hours, or flexibility such as:

shift workers like nurses, doctors, physician assistants, engineers
artists, writers, designers
therapists, psychologists, speech language pathologists
mailmen, cable technicians
construction workers
teachers, tutors, college professors, adjuncts
translators
editors
consultants

and dozens more. Oh, and "website businesses".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for the very frugal PP. I am intrigued by your lifestyle. But here's a question: You and your DH both work FT and yet your HHI is just $99K. Do you think you could make better salaries if you were to have just a bit of steady childcare? Seems like you could have a lot of earnings potential with your determination and good writing skills. Do you aspire to higher salaries? I just feel like there are a lot of opportunity costs here. Perhaps one of you could just try to work FT and make more, and then one of you could just stay home instead of doing this big juggle?

To be honest, I don't think it's much of a juggle. About 10 years ago (pre kids) I turned down several job offers with six figure salaries in favor of my current job which offers more flexibility and more regular hours (e.g. I work 40 hours rather than 50-60), plus less travel, than the higher paid jobs would have done. It was the right choice then, and even more so now -- I have no interest in seeking out those opportunities again. Plus the extra money wouldn't significantly offset the additional costs or stresses on the family.

My husband likely will become an employee somewhere at some point in the next few years which will increase his earning power. However, he works in a very low paying field and there's little scope for him to earn a lot more without a major career change. Plus he finds his work fulfilling on the whole, which is important. If he does take a job where he is a full time employee for an organization we may have to look at other childcare options, though I still think it likely that he could take the kids to school before work and I could pick them up afterwards. That's a common arrangement for many families and he prefers to start work later and I prefer to start earlier.

Also, your current job allows you to literally be on DCUM all day, so that's another perk!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for the very frugal PP. I am intrigued by your lifestyle. But here's a question: You and your DH both work FT and yet your HHI is just $99K. Do you think you could make better salaries if you were to have just a bit of steady childcare? Seems like you could have a lot of earnings potential with your determination and good writing skills. Do you aspire to higher salaries? I just feel like there are a lot of opportunity costs here. Perhaps one of you could just try to work FT and make more, and then one of you could just stay home instead of doing this big juggle?

Another PP here, I addressed this in an earlier post, too, but PP ignored it.

The 9:33 discussion for under-3 care is very muddled, but I guess the takeaway is that maternity leave and then DH ws home for 6 years, and worked when kids slept and then when she got home, b/c he runs his own business (maybe some kind of website business?). Its likely that kind of spotty work schedule makes it hard for both of them to 'lean in'

OPEN your mind. There are many fields of work with non-traditional work hours, or flexibility such as:

shift workers like nurses, doctors, physician assistants, engineers
artists, writers, designers
therapists, psychologists, speech language pathologists
mailmen, cable technicians
construction workers
teachers, tutors, college professors, adjuncts
translators
editors
consultants

and dozens more. Oh, and "website businesses".

Her husband works AT home at a relatively low paying job, so I doubt he's a construction worker, physician, or cable technician. Translator, editor, designer, consultant, yes.