I feel bad that my child is not gifted

[Anonymous]

OP, your perspective just proved that an Ivy degree is no sign of being gifted or smart. Your kid may grow up much smarter than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child is in the magnet program. He did not read till he was 7 years old. Even then, he did not pick up a book to read. So, I read to him every night - minimum of a couple of hours - often times - more than that. Finished so many series that I am now an expert in kid's literature and many of the books for older kids as well. So, in the end - he did not lose the content knowledge, he developed a good vocabulary, has a great imagination etc. Then one day, he started reading by himself - it was a Tintin comic.

Do not get hung up on what other people's kids are doing. Trust me that every kid has some special talent and passions - your job as a parent is to help him discover what he is good at.

The academic stuff? Kids all pick it up - sooner or later.

How did you find the time to read for two hours??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. Who the F is testing young kids for giftedness? Fire 'em.

The Op is. Being an early reader is not really proof for or against being gifted but it's often used in the parenting a gifted child arms race.

[Anonymous]

God, I feel bad for OP's child. Can't imagine being raised by such an asshole. No wait, I was raised by one and it sucks.

Good luck, kid. Hope you find happiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, OP. We all have our moments when we lose perspective and struggle. But reading late does not necessarily mean your child is not intelligent.

I can think of several of my childhood peers who were considered slow and did not do well in school, yet are now successful in their field of work. It's a matter of finding the right field. You need to open your mind to non-academic possibilities for your child. Only if your mind is open will you be able to help your child find his path. Instead of laying awake worrying, make an effort to help your child develop his unique talents. That is the way forward.

OP here. DH is successful and earns close to 7 figures. I stayed home and now do some consulting work so that I could focus on the children. I just feel like such a failure. I have tried so hard to enrich him. I put so much effort into a balanced schedule of studying, sports, music, etc. We do play dates, educational outings, journals, have a million books and go to the library all the time. I don't think there is anything more I can do.

Seriously, the OP here has to be a troll. Somebody who knows how to get pages of people to pile on and waste time.

[Anonymous]

I didn't learn to read until I was in second grade. Turns out I had dyslexia. I went on to get a degree from Duke. Early intervention and a parent who helps you find your passions and strengths rather than write you off as a loss at age 6 helped a lot. Also diagnosis and early intervention.

[Anonymous]

Did I mention early intervention?

[Anonymous]

Fun Facts:

1) The IQ of the average CEO is 110--not quite "gifted"
2) Albert Einstein didn't start TALKING until he was 3. And it's pretty wildly accepted he counts as "gifted"

[Anonymous]

I can't really relate to what OP is saying in that it isn't important to me that my child be gifted in some return-on-investment sense. That being said, it makes me sad to watch DS work really hard on certain things (like reading and swimming) and not really get anywhere in comparison to some of his friends. I imagine that can't feel all that good for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't really relate to what OP is saying in that it isn't important to me that my child be gifted in some return-on-investment sense. That being said, it makes me sad to watch DS work really hard on certain things (like reading and swimming) and not really get anywhere in comparison to some of his friends. I imagine that can't feel all that good for him.

I get that, but your son IS getting somewhere--he's practicing working hard, which is an incredibly useful skill. He's learning how to deal with things not coming easily. He's learning perserverance and resilience. These are good things. And he will find the things that do come more naturally, and he'll really be able to appreciate them.

[Anonymous]

"Gifted" is generally a shitasticly assessed and served accolade. Don't worry even one second about it. Make sure your kid has fun, challenging, enthusiastic and supportive teachers who KNOW HOW TO TEACH. Don't be afraid to ask the teachers to expose your child to creative and challenging work. Research shows that kids--even teenagers--who just COMPLETE a high level course such as AP or IB, regardless of performance, actually are better prepared for college and career.

So just do it with your son.

Don't ever let him think you doubt his skill and stick-with-it-ness.

Go, mama!

[Anonymous]

I think OP is just sad that her DC is just average and not exceptional. Effort usually can outweigh smarts.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'll admit to feeling like you sometimes. DH and I were each labeled "gifted" at a very young age, read early, excelled in all academic subjects, and went on to careers in academia (which we've both since left, but that's unrelated).

We have a 5 yo DD who is bright, outgoing, hilarious, caring, and tons of fun, but she isn't really reading yet and doesn't appear to have any identifiably special aptitude in school. It's not that we feel disappointed in her -- it's more just that we're a) surprised that two similar sets of genes combined to make something dissimilar, and b) sometimes less able to relate to the way she experiences school. I'd imagine that two athletic parents of a klutz, talented singers with a tone-deaf kid, or social butterflies with an introvert might feel the same way. One thing that makes me feel better is that DD will surely develop a better work ethic than mine if everything doesn't come easily with no effort.

[Anonymous]

halfway through trh thread and notice that at least 2/3rds of the post are reassuring op (who is a total troll) that her child still might be a above average afterall, that "late" reading isn't proof of being average. I think that just reinforces OP's post. You guys all see being average in intelligence as a bad thing. And here is a mom (well a poster pretending) simily vocalizing in a personal way what you all also feel - that being of average intelligence is something to be disapointed about. So stop yelling at her. You are just yelling at yoruself.

[Anonymous]

at least 2/3rds of the post are reassuring op (who is a total troll) that her child still might be a above average afterall,

It's in the child's best interest his parent believes in him. We're telling her what she needs to hear to become the parent her child deserves.