I feel bad that my child is not gifted
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Anonymous
| Fancy Yale grad here. My DH went to the university of nowhere & got middling grades there. He has shrewd business instincts, a killer work ethic, and is much more successful than me or my fancy-pants classmates. There is much more to success. |
Anonymous
| Raise the child you have, not the one you want. |
Anonymous
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Also things change. What he is at 6 is not what he may be at 10 or 16.
As we know success in life is not all about IQ. Have two boys. One is off the charts gifted but a quiet rule follower. The younger one is academically average but has an engaging personality and is very funny and creative. If I had to guess, I bet the younger one is more successful. |
Anonymous
| He's only 6!!!!! Calm the f down. |
Anonymous
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OP because you graduated Ivy doesn't make you special or more intelligent. In fact your post shows a lack of intelligence behind it. I don't mean it as an insult but it truly shows a narrow close minded perspective that is counter to what I consider a wise person.
Is your child healthy and happy? Then that should make you happy. I used to treat children with autism, some with severe challenges. What those parents wouldn't have given for their child to have a chance to be average to live a happy normal life without so many difficulties ahead of them. You sound superficial and concerned about your ability to brag about your kid on what you deem is important. If your child not being: The most attractive, athletic, smartest and highest achieving individual makes you feel like a failure then I am sad for your kid. I think you are failing as a parent but not for the reasons you listed but because you think it's so important. I'd hate to be your kid and the pressure you would put on me so you can look good. Get your priorities straight and stop being disappointed because your child is happy and normal. You don't have to one up anyone and you know what? No one really gives a shit about your achievements or failures. |
Anonymous
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OP -- going to an Ivy does not guarantee success. Think back to your Harvard days -- what are your classmates doing now? I bet you a good % of them are not CEOs or scientists but have regular jobs that a graduate from UMass could also have gotten.
Also -- going to an Ivy and following the straight path also does not guarantee success. Think of how many Ivy grads are out there who take the expected path out of Princeton to ibanking and do ok there but not stellar and then hit a time in life where it's like "now what -- I never wanted this." And I don't say this in jealousy of Ivy grads -- have 2 Ivy degrees and I've seen these things to be true over and over in myself and my classmates. The truly "successful" Ivy grads -- the ones running the world, CEOs of Fortune 500 etc -- are not only smart but hugely charismatic; so charismatic that I'm willing to bet that they their degree was from UMass instead of Harvard, they still would have found their way to the same positions. |
Anonymous
+1 My dad went to UMass ( & didn't even graduate with honors -- the horror!) & was a top executive in a Fortune 100 company by age 40. I went to an ivy, graduated with honors & am now nearly 40 & nowhere close to being that successful in my own career. My dad is not disappointed or heartbroken by my path in life, however. Having friends & former colleagues whose similar-aged children have either died or suffer from serious, painful illnesses (both physical & psychological), he knows & appreciates that having 2 healthy, happy daughters makes him extremely lucky. |
Anonymous
| What's with the hard on Americans have with Ivy League? Can't you see you fools it means nothing? |
Anonymous
I'm the PP you're quoting -- seriously the older I get, the more I lose my "traditional" views of success; there are so many things that can go wrong in life -- and certainly given this economy -- that if you end up with adult children who are happy, middle class and generally "ok" financially -- be thrilled about that; it's just not as easy to achieve those things as I thought it would be when I was 22 or 25. |
Anonymous
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OP, I read super-early and have a high IQ and my ex is also very bright. our daughter is very smart and very verbal, but she didn't read until she was almost 6. It worried me a little. She's still ahead of many of her classmates, though - I'd be surprised if your guy wasn't in pretty good company in his class.
He could be above-average in all sorts of areas - late reading doesn't necessarily mean much. And even if it does, eh. He might have other redeeming qualities. 
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Anonymous
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I apparently was behind on reading in my early elementary years. Can't remember the grade, between k-2. I had to start going to a reading specialist and after one session I never had to go back. I knew how to read but I guess I didn't show the right skills at the right time? As I got older, if I wasn't watching tv I was reading. And if I wasn't doing my chores I was reading. And if I wasn't doing my homework.... You get the picture. Perhaps this may be the case for your son.
I always knew I was smart and spent most of school bored to death. And frustrated that I was never challenged. I didn't put any effort into school until 8th grade and beyond when teachers realized I was smart and started putting me in harder classes. It was too late for me to put in any real effort into schoolwork but slacker me maintained a 3.4ish gpa without trying hard. I did the least amount of work to get a B. And sometimes accidentally got an A... Or a C, D, or F (I probably needed a tiger mom!). My advice for the op is to make sure your child tries their best and puts in effort. Those are life skills. And make sure your kid is challenged. Your kid may be smart, just not in the way you expect or will show on a test, or possibly even a late bloomer. |
Anonymous
| Well, my math prodigy brother's daughter is failing algebra in high school. The poor girl can't do math to save her life. Who cares?!? We love her just the same: She is kind, sweet, responsible... And great fun to be around. She'll probably end up in law school. |
Anonymous
| Hell I don't blame you OP. I'd be disappointed to. You've got to do your best to get over it though. |
Anonymous
| Ugh. Who the F is testing young kids for giftedness? Fire 'em. |
Anonymous
| When everyone is gifted, no one is gifted. |