Would you be upset with your husband over this?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sure MANY pps have been saying there should be a compromise somewhere in the middle so that both partners are making "sacrifices" (for lack of a better word). High libido spouse has to be happy getting it less than desired and low libido spouse has to be happy having sex more than desired. It isn't one or the other. It is a compromise. I don't know why this is so hard for some people to understand. I don't think anyone said the low libido spouse has to have sex every time the high libido spouse wants it.

I agree. That is what most people are saying. The outliers are the 's/he shouldn't expect sex as a part of a marriage' (those are likely the refusers talking), and the s/he has a right to cheat (those are the cheaters talking). Everyone else is saying that sex is a normal healthy expectation in a marriage and that both parties need to find a balance between needs, wants and desires. Demanding or refusing leads to problems.

To throw it out there, I was one that said I wouldn't blame a man for cheating and I have never cheated nor has my husband. He was in a sexless marriage before ours and I understand the frustration he went through which is why I wouldn't blame a man for straying.

You got sloppy seconds.
I guess you dont mind baggage.

Lol was I to marry a 40 year old virgin?

no but preferably unmarried and no kids

Luckily, he was able to walk away as if it never happened since they never had children together.

but it did happen. Everyone he knows knows it happened. There are legal documents confirming that it happened.
Seems you are a bit jealous and embarrassed.

Is this real life?

Is this just fantasy?

Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sure MANY pps have been saying there should be a compromise somewhere in the middle so that both partners are making "sacrifices" (for lack of a better word). High libido spouse has to be happy getting it less than desired and low libido spouse has to be happy having sex more than desired. It isn't one or the other. It is a compromise. I don't know why this is so hard for some people to understand. I don't think anyone said the low libido spouse has to have sex every time the high libido spouse wants it.

I agree. That is what most people are saying. The outliers are the 's/he shouldn't expect sex as a part of a marriage' (those are likely the refusers talking), and the s/he has a right to cheat (those are the cheaters talking). Everyone else is saying that sex is a normal healthy expectation in a marriage and that both parties need to find a balance between needs, wants and desires. Demanding or refusing leads to problems.

To throw it out there, I was one that said I wouldn't blame a man for cheating and I have never cheated nor has my husband. He was in a sexless marriage before ours and I understand the frustration he went through which is why I wouldn't blame a man for straying.

You got sloppy seconds.
I guess you dont mind baggage.

Lol was I to marry a 40 year old virgin?

no but preferably unmarried and no kids

Luckily, he was able to walk away as if it never happened since they never had children together.

Can't erase the past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sure MANY pps have been saying there should be a compromise somewhere in the middle so that both partners are making "sacrifices" (for lack of a better word). High libido spouse has to be happy getting it less than desired and low libido spouse has to be happy having sex more than desired. It isn't one or the other. It is a compromise. I don't know why this is so hard for some people to understand. I don't think anyone said the low libido spouse has to have sex every time the high libido spouse wants it.

I agree. That is what most people are saying. The outliers are the 's/he shouldn't expect sex as a part of a marriage' (those are likely the refusers talking), and the s/he has a right to cheat (those are the cheaters talking). Everyone else is saying that sex is a normal healthy expectation in a marriage and that both parties need to find a balance between needs, wants and desires. Demanding or refusing leads to problems.

To throw it out there, I was one that said I wouldn't blame a man for cheating and I have never cheated nor has my husband. He was in a sexless marriage before ours and I understand the frustration he went through which is why I wouldn't blame a man for straying.

You got sloppy seconds.
I guess you dont mind baggage.

Lol was I to marry a 40 year old virgin?

no but preferably unmarried and no kids

Luckily, he was able to walk away as if it never happened since they never had children together.

but it did happen. Everyone he knows knows it happened. There are legal documents confirming that it happened.
Seems you are a bit jealous and embarrassed.

Is this real life?

Is this just fantasy?

Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality.

Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
Because I'm easy come, easy go
A little high, little low
Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, to me

[Anonymous]

Well this post has certainly taken a weird turn haha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sure MANY pps have been saying there should be a compromise somewhere in the middle so that both partners are making "sacrifices" (for lack of a better word). High libido spouse has to be happy getting it less than desired and low libido spouse has to be happy having sex more than desired. It isn't one or the other. It is a compromise. I don't know why this is so hard for some people to understand. I don't think anyone said the low libido spouse has to have sex every time the high libido spouse wants it.

I agree. That is what most people are saying. The outliers are the 's/he shouldn't expect sex as a part of a marriage' (those are likely the refusers talking), and the s/he has a right to cheat (those are the cheaters talking). Everyone else is saying that sex is a normal healthy expectation in a marriage and that both parties need to find a balance between needs, wants and desires. Demanding or refusing leads to problems.

To throw it out there, I was one that said I wouldn't blame a man for cheating and I have never cheated nor has my husband. He was in a sexless marriage before ours and I understand the frustration he went through which is why I wouldn't blame a man for straying.

You got sloppy seconds.
I guess you dont mind baggage.

Lol was I to marry a 40 year old virgin?

no but preferably unmarried and no kids

Luckily, he was able to walk away as if it never happened since they never had children together.

Can't erase the past.

Whos' trying to erase the past? My point was PP was claiming he must have baggage because of children, ex wife, etc. when in fact they had no kids and they're completely estranged. No baggage whatsoever, none anymore than what I've taken from my own breakups. Just some really juicy stories about his crazy inlaws which I love to hear lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sure MANY pps have been saying there should be a compromise somewhere in the middle so that both partners are making "sacrifices" (for lack of a better word). High libido spouse has to be happy getting it less than desired and low libido spouse has to be happy having sex more than desired. It isn't one or the other. It is a compromise. I don't know why this is so hard for some people to understand. I don't think anyone said the low libido spouse has to have sex every time the high libido spouse wants it.

I agree. That is what most people are saying. The outliers are the 's/he shouldn't expect sex as a part of a marriage' (those are likely the refusers talking), and the s/he has a right to cheat (those are the cheaters talking). Everyone else is saying that sex is a normal healthy expectation in a marriage and that both parties need to find a balance between needs, wants and desires. Demanding or refusing leads to problems.

To throw it out there, I was one that said I wouldn't blame a man for cheating and I have never cheated nor has my husband. He was in a sexless marriage before ours and I understand the frustration he went through which is why I wouldn't blame a man for straying.

You got sloppy seconds.
I guess you dont mind baggage.

Lol was I to marry a 40 year old virgin?

no but preferably unmarried and no kids

Luckily, he was able to walk away as if it never happened since they never had children together.

but it did happen. Everyone he knows knows it happened. There are legal documents confirming that it happened.
Seems you are a bit jealous and embarrassed.

Is this real life?

Is this just fantasy?

Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality.

Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
Because I'm easy come, easy go
A little high, little low
Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, to me

Mamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, just killed a man...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well this post has certainly taken a weird turn haha

Yeah it feels like it has kind of run its course so why not add a little QUEEN! The lyrics were a good fit

[Anonymous]

i think we need to ask OP why she doesn't feel any desire for her husband? Or very little? That is the key to the puzzle and we can speculate all we want but until we know why it is pointless.

[Anonymous]

OP revealed a confidence to her frenemy, frenemy seized an opportunity to push DH's buttons.

Dump frenemy. Cold.
Counseling for the intimacy problem.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this just fantasy?

Life is just a fantasy, can you live this fantasy life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this just fantasy?

Life is just a fantasy, can you live this fantasy life?

Aldo Nova?

[Anonymous]

Your friend completely threw you under the bus in an effort to gain the attention and brownie points with your H. That is disgusting and exploitative. Sorry this is not a friend.

[Anonymous]

Op, you better watch your friend and really any women around him. Undersexed husbands like yours are easy targets for an affair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you better watch your friend and really any women around him. Undersexed husbands like yours are easy targets for an affair.

Oh please. So disagree. Depends on the man. For Gods sake give men a bit of credit. Not all men are born cheaters when they don't get as much sex as they want. I find the comment offensive and ridiculous.

There are two types- men who would cheat with or without a lot of sex and men who would never with or without a lot of sex. Thankfully I know my husband is the later.

[Anonymous]

She's not someone you need to be sharing your heart with and your husband was very inappropriate to tell you to take lessons from her.
He should be guarding your heart not trampling on it, no matter how good looking he us.

Looks will fade and what's left is your character and how you treated people.

Guilt is a terrible motivator.

God bless you.