NCS Parents - "I wish I had known x" type advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure why so many people seem to have bad experiences at this school. My daughter just came to NCS from public school, and so far all she talks about is how nice all of the girls are and how welcoming they have been. There are many different types of girls there, so it seems that most are able to find at least a few who are like-minded.

NP. My daughter also just came to NCS from a public school and she loves it. I'm not saying that for damage control, but just to share my experience.

In terms of "I wish I had known x" type advice, I would advise that when you visit NCS (or any other school) that you take seriously whatever vibe you and daughter feel about that school. If it doesn't feel great, don't go there regardless of how much "cache" it has.

And as an aside, if your kid really hates the school she is in, find another school that she will love. I'm sure it is at out there. "Not wanting to go through the process of applying out" does not seem like a good reason for staying in a school you hate.

Your daughter just came to NCS so is your aside really valid? Some families choose to stick it out rather then putting their dd through applying out so close to the college admission process.

PP, good luck to your DD.

My aside quoted someone whose daughter hated the school but nevertheless did not want to apply out after 6th grade or 9th grade. Is 6th grade too close to the college admission process to leave a school one hates? So, yes, my aside is really valid: If you hate your school, then find one you like and leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure why so many people seem to have bad experiences at this school. My daughter just came to NCS from public school, and so far all she talks about is how nice all of the girls are and how welcoming they have been. There are many different types of girls there, so it seems that most are able to find at least a few who are like-minded.

NP. My daughter also just came to NCS from a public school and she loves it. I'm not saying that for damage control, but just to share my experience.

In terms of "I wish I had known x" type advice, I would advise that when you visit NCS (or any other school) that you take seriously whatever vibe you and daughter feel about that school. If it doesn't feel great, don't go there regardless of how much "cache" it has.

And as an aside, if your kid really hates the school she is in, find another school that she will love. I'm sure it is at out there. "Not wanting to go through the process of applying out" does not seem like a good reason for staying in a school you hate.

Your daughter just came to NCS so is your aside really valid? Some families choose to stick it out rather then putting their dd through applying out so close to the college admission process.

My aside quoted someone whose daughter hated the school but nevertheless did not want to apply out after 6th grade or 9th grade. Is 6th grade too close to the college admission process to leave a school one hates? So, yes, my aside is really valid: If you hate your school, then find one you like and leave.

This got mixed in your quote: PP, good luck to your, DD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holton is definitely inclusive and does everything it can to stop mean girls. it also has more of the coach/teacher model like STA. Would not trade my DDs spot in Holton for one at NCS for anything.

-2

I will say this, I have several friends who have DDs at NCS and my own is at Holton. I definitely can say Holton is a better school for developing a girl's unique qualities and uncovering and encouraging their talents and strengths. I could care less about the prestige of Holton vs. NCS, what they do at Holton is almost magic! They have found a way to bring out the most in those girls without being damaging. The environment IS inclusive and true, it can vary from class to class, but my child has been there for five years and so far nothing but a warm positive experience with students and faculty. She is an URM and has felt welcomed and loved.

I'm sure Holton is a fine school and I don't think it's appropriate to say NCS is a better school for ..... Different girls and families will see the pros and cons of each school. My daughter has been at NCS for five years and has only had a warm positive experience with students and faculty and has had her unique qualities developed and uncovered as well and her talents and strengths encouraged. It's a bonus that NCS has a strong reputation, classes with STA and outstanding college acceptances.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps it would be helpful to describe the type of girl and family that the culture at NCS best suits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps it would be helpful to describe the type of girl and family that the culture at NCS best suits.

PP here - late 90's grad... In my class, the girls I felt were happiest / got the most support from the administration:

Extremely brilliant and academically focused girls (there were 5 in my class that got perfect SAT scores) - although not the most popular, they were always able to get the classes they wanted (tracking) and so were encouraged to follow their interests.

OR

Very socially adept, perhaps having gone through puberty earlier (more boyfriends - or boy interest,) well dressed, often not repeating an outfit ever over the school year.

Summary, in a school when everyone is smart - it takes either SUPER smarts or outstanding social skills to stand apart, dominate, and get recognized (by peers or Admins.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps it would be helpful to describe the type of girl and family that the culture at NCS best suits.

PP here - late 90's grad... In my class, the girls I felt were happiest / got the most support from the administration:

Extremely brilliant and academically focused girls (there were 5 in my class that got perfect SAT scores) - although not the most popular, they were always able to get the classes they wanted (tracking) and so were encouraged to follow their interests.

OR

Very socially adept, perhaps having gone through puberty earlier (more boyfriends - or boy interest,) well dressed, often not repeating an outfit ever over the school year.

Summary, in a school when everyone is smart - it takes either SUPER smarts or outstanding social skills to stand apart, dominate, and get recognized (by peers or Admins.)

Interesting. I wonder whether having uniforms for upper school would make a difference socially. What do you think? Also I notice there's a fair amount of comment on the benefit of being close with STA. you don't see it in reverse - almost as if they are trying to get a little sheen from STA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Interesting. I wonder whether having uniforms for upper school would make a difference socially. What do you think? Also I notice there's a fair amount of comment on the benefit of being close with STA. you don't see it in reverse - almost as if they are trying to get a little sheen from STA.

What is your problem?

For the record, I'm the poster with the DD who applied from a K-6. And no, my DD didn't end up at Holton.

[Anonymous]

Having attended a girls' school much like NCS, I believe uniforms would not make that much difference socially. We had uniforms, but there were "duds days" when you got to wear your own clothes, there were social events outside of school, and there was simply the knowledge of who was who and who had what.

Second, as parent of children at both NCS and STA, I do see on the STA threads reference to the advantages of boys' having contact with NCS girls in the coed classes and athletics, so I do not see it as a case of NCS's "trying to get a sheen from STA."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Interesting. I wonder whether having uniforms for upper school would make a difference socially. What do you think? Also I notice there's a fair amount of comment on the benefit of being close with STA. you don't see it in reverse - almost as if they are trying to get a little sheen from STA.

What is your problem?

For the record, I'm the poster with the DD who applied from a K-6. And no, my DD didn't end up at Holton.

This was referring to the person who was saying some girls would not wear the same outfit twice. Uniforms take that out of the equation. Not sure I understand how to read the rest of your post.

[Anonymous]

I found especially interesting one of the pp points about girls and the fact that they dated an STA boy was somehow something that elevated them in the NCS hierarchy. If true, and I don't doubt it, it's quite sad. I thought part of the whole point about an all girls environment was to avoid such madness (no attack on any STA boys intended).

[Anonymous]

PP, it's always like that at any girls school. I went to a girls' school and the girls "chosen" by the boys always had special status. Times have not changed so much. If it's any comfort, my son goes to STA upper school, and the boys who can date an NCS, especially a pretty and popular one, get some kind of special status, too. That's high-school life for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, it's always like that at any girls school. I went to a girls' school and the girls "chosen" by the boys always had special status. Times have not changed so much. If it's any comfort, my son goes to STA upper school, and the boys who can date an NCS, especially a pretty and popular one, get some kind of special status, too. That's high-school life for you.

It may be high school life. But I figured, I suppose wrongly, that STA and NCS were separate. How are the boys and girls getting together? -- Naive Parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps it would be helpful to describe the type of girl and family that the culture at NCS best suits.

PP here - late 90's grad... In my class, the girls I felt were happiest / got the most support from the administration:

Extremely brilliant and academically focused girls (there were 5 in my class that got perfect SAT scores) - although not the most popular, they were always able to get the classes they wanted (tracking) and so were encouraged to follow their interests.

OR

Very socially adept, perhaps having gone through puberty earlier (more boyfriends - or boy interest,) well dressed, often not repeating an outfit ever over the school year.

Summary, in a school when everyone is smart - it takes either SUPER smarts or outstanding social skills to stand apart, dominate, and get recognized (by peers or Admins.)

My DD graduated a few years ago, this describes the upper school experience/environment when she attended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, it's always like that at any girls school. I went to a girls' school and the girls "chosen" by the boys always had special status. Times have not changed so much. If it's any comfort, my son goes to STA upper school, and the boys who can date an NCS, especially a pretty and popular one, get some kind of special status, too. That's high-school life for you.

It may be high school life. But I figured, I suppose wrongly, that STA and NCS were separate. How are the boys and girls getting together? -- Naive Parent

Coordinate classes, sports, chorale, play rehearsals, after dance parties, FB

[Anonymous]

My daughter goes to NCS and she is neither super super smart or socially outstanding. She is smart, but could work harder, and she has figured out that skinny jeans (or with the new dres code, colored pants) and a cute (gap, nordstroms etc) top is socially acceptable. She is friendly and is not in the "popular" crowd but she has lots of friends and loves NCS. She thinks most STA boys are kind of nerdy or not very good looking ( I disagree) but she is fine not dating.