High school recommendations from our k-8 school and how should I feel about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you have to begin with the end in mind. You sound like you would not be happy to spend another 300k and be sitting in a colleges counseling office hearing suggestions like Lehigh or Holy Cross. (perfectly good schools!)

I have two kids at HYP right now. So I get it. I acknowledge I wanted my kids to go to the kind of college that wasn't on the table for me.

We could sorta kinda afford private K-8, which sounded like a financial slog so we did pubic k-5 and public middle and then private HS. (Also had SHS spots, which would have also been fine).

Think about what kind of college you'd be happy with. You might say, maybe something cool like Pitzer or Wes. If so, go to public. BC? Go to Loyola. You will have better luck getting into Cornell from a strong public. At Middlebury, getting a great GPA and applying ED would be the more important than public or private. Or learn to play Rugby at Xavier and go to Cal or Michigan and maybe Brown. Want to go to UVA, buy a nice house in Rye and get him a tutor to keep his grades up.

A top HS in NY can totally help you, but all privates can hurt you too. Top or not. They're all full of "institutional priorities": legacies, donors, and very strong FGLI kids who came in via Prep for Prep etc and can thrive in PWI - colleges love them. All these legacy/donor kids get leadership positions - not because of nepotism (disagree with the podcast), but because they were born with the confidence and swagger my kids didn't have at 14.

Different poster - thanks for sharing. I am interested in going a similar route with my kids - public for younger years and apply to private for HS. How was the transition from public to private for your kids? Pros/cons of this path? TYSM

They were both behind in math - which I think was more about Covid than curriculum. Publics were remote when privates went hybrid. For quite a while. Studying for the SHSAT helped fill in some blanks. But they got great grades in HS. I think it helped that they had done so little homework in middle school. they were the opposite of burned out.

Also, socially, I felt public middle school was a little behind private. In a good way. Again, this was during Covid so it didn't really impact my kids and their private peers, but I saw it in other grades.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:All this talk of bad exmissions and nearly every K-8 hiding their exact outcomes on their websites makes me question why anyone would choose these schools over a decent K-12. If a median student at Buckley doesn’t have a shot at a TT then it’s really not a decent value proposition

Sometimes the right school at K is not the right school for high school. Also, what is “bad exmissions”? Would Sacred Heart, Avenues, Grace or Trevor be considered “bad”?

I would consider avenues pretty not great. The others are…. Ok

A good student would consider these outcomes to be less than ideal. Whether they are worth 70k depends on whether you are worth deep into eight figures. A working professional shouldn’t shell out and make sacrifices for Trevor.

The beauty (at least to me) of some of these schools is that there are kids who know from day one that they are not aiming for Ivies. So if your kid enters aiming for Ivies and with a somewhat reasonable chance of getting there, they are not competing with their entire class for spots. It is kind of like going to a good suburban public school. They get plenty of kids into top schools but if you look at the whole school the "average" outcome isn't going to look great.

Yea. Matriculation for college may be maximized. But you’re spending a pretty penny for a 3T school many New Yorkers look down upon (Dwight is not 2T) and that may have a number of idiots in each class. In an extreme example, would you enroll your child in a special needs high school if it meant they’d get into Harvard?

So is the NYC mentality that kids get more respect if they go to Chapin and then on to Lehigh or SMU, versus Dwight or Avenues and then on to Princeton?

Dwight is a face tattoo that even Princeton can’t wash off. Being a rich Latin American admit to Princeton is its own level of sleazy and unqualified. So yea Chapin or Trinity to SMU is more respectable.

What does that even mean? No one cares where you went to high school. Most college graduates will not list their high school on their resume or LinkedIn. Someone who went to Dwight and then a good college will do just fine.

People who go to Exeter and HM and Trinity 10000% put it on their LinkedIn and on their resume for the first couple jobs out of college. People do care about this stuff, you and your ilk do not.

Op - I don’t think anyone cares what high school you went to in the world of work. I oversee a team of 100ish and am in constant hiring mode and I have never noticed or even thought to look or care about anyone’s high school. But it is a key part of what college you go to so it matters for that reason

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All this talk of bad exmissions and nearly every K-8 hiding their exact outcomes on their websites makes me question why anyone would choose these schools over a decent K-12. If a median student at Buckley doesn’t have a shot at a TT then it’s really not a decent value proposition

Sometimes the right school at K is not the right school for high school. Also, what is “bad exmissions”? Would Sacred Heart, Avenues, Grace or Trevor be considered “bad”?

I would consider avenues pretty not great. The others are…. Ok

A good student would consider these outcomes to be less than ideal. Whether they are worth 70k depends on whether you are worth deep into eight figures. A working professional shouldn’t shell out and make sacrifices for Trevor.

The beauty (at least to me) of some of these schools is that there are kids who know from day one that they are not aiming for Ivies. So if your kid enters aiming for Ivies and with a somewhat reasonable chance of getting there, they are not competing with their entire class for spots. It is kind of like going to a good suburban public school. They get plenty of kids into top schools but if you look at the whole school the "average" outcome isn't going to look great.

Yea. Matriculation for college may be maximized. But you’re spending a pretty penny for a 3T school many New Yorkers look down upon (Dwight is not 2T) and that may have a number of idiots in each class. In an extreme example, would you enroll your child in a special needs high school if it meant they’d get into Harvard?

So is the NYC mentality that kids get more respect if they go to Chapin and then on to Lehigh or SMU, versus Dwight or Avenues and then on to Princeton?

Dwight is a face tattoo that even Princeton can’t wash off. Being a rich Latin American admit to Princeton is its own level of sleazy and unqualified. So yea Chapin or Trinity to SMU is more respectable.

What does that even mean? No one cares where you went to high school. Most college graduates will not list their high school on their resume or LinkedIn. Someone who went to Dwight and then a good college will do just fine.

People who go to Exeter and HM and Trinity 10000% put it on their LinkedIn and on their resume for the first couple jobs out of college. People do care about this stuff, you and your ilk do not.

Op - I don’t think anyone cares what high school you went to in the world of work. I oversee a team of 100ish and am in constant hiring mode and I have never noticed or even thought to look or care about anyone’s high school. But it is a key part of what college you go to so it matters for that reason

I've found first and second jobs are basically handed to some kids who can connect with the HS plus college people ie, Trinity plus Princeton now at JPM. Connect w that person via linkedin or friends, you get to skip several layers of interviews.

Similar to college frats or college sports.

But this is all pretty thin air. (Is that the right phrase?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All this talk of bad exmissions and nearly every K-8 hiding their exact outcomes on their websites makes me question why anyone would choose these schools over a decent K-12. If a median student at Buckley doesn’t have a shot at a TT then it’s really not a decent value proposition

Sometimes the right school at K is not the right school for high school. Also, what is “bad exmissions”? Would Sacred Heart, Avenues, Grace or Trevor be considered “bad”?

I would consider avenues pretty not great. The others are…. Ok

A good student would consider these outcomes to be less than ideal. Whether they are worth 70k depends on whether you are worth deep into eight figures. A working professional shouldn’t shell out and make sacrifices for Trevor.

The beauty (at least to me) of some of these schools is that there are kids who know from day one that they are not aiming for Ivies. So if your kid enters aiming for Ivies and with a somewhat reasonable chance of getting there, they are not competing with their entire class for spots. It is kind of like going to a good suburban public school. They get plenty of kids into top schools but if you look at the whole school the "average" outcome isn't going to look great.

Yea. Matriculation for college may be maximized. But you’re spending a pretty penny for a 3T school many New Yorkers look down upon (Dwight is not 2T) and that may have a number of idiots in each class. In an extreme example, would you enroll your child in a special needs high school if it meant they’d get into Harvard?

So is the NYC mentality that kids get more respect if they go to Chapin and then on to Lehigh or SMU, versus Dwight or Avenues and then on to Princeton?

Dwight is a face tattoo that even Princeton can’t wash off. Being a rich Latin American admit to Princeton is its own level of sleazy and unqualified. So yea Chapin or Trinity to SMU is more respectable.

What does that even mean? No one cares where you went to high school. Most college graduates will not list their high school on their resume or LinkedIn. Someone who went to Dwight and then a good college will do just fine.

People who go to Exeter and HM and Trinity 10000% put it on their LinkedIn and on their resume for the first couple jobs out of college. People do care about this stuff, you and your ilk do not.

Op - I don’t think anyone cares what high school you went to in the world of work. I oversee a team of 100ish and am in constant hiring mode and I have never noticed or even thought to look or care about anyone’s high school. But it is a key part of what college you go to so it matters for that reason

I've found first and second jobs are basically handed to some kids who can connect with the HS plus college people ie, Trinity plus Princeton now at JPM. Connect w that person via linkedin or friends, you get to skip several layers of interviews.

Similar to college frats or college sports.

But this is all pretty thin air. (Is that the right phrase?)

Sure, if you went to a HS with a great network you can use it but it generally doesn’t matter. Many of the SHS and the Jesuit schools also have amazing alum networks. I’m also a little skeptical of how much the alum network helps the unconnected, non-rich kids at the private TTs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All this talk of bad exmissions and nearly every K-8 hiding their exact outcomes on their websites makes me question why anyone would choose these schools over a decent K-12. If a median student at Buckley doesn’t have a shot at a TT then it’s really not a decent value proposition

Sometimes the right school at K is not the right school for high school. Also, what is “bad exmissions”? Would Sacred Heart, Avenues, Grace or Trevor be considered “bad”?

I would consider avenues pretty not great. The others are…. Ok

A good student would consider these outcomes to be less than ideal. Whether they are worth 70k depends on whether you are worth deep into eight figures. A working professional shouldn’t shell out and make sacrifices for Trevor.

The beauty (at least to me) of some of these schools is that there are kids who know from day one that they are not aiming for Ivies. So if your kid enters aiming for Ivies and with a somewhat reasonable chance of getting there, they are not competing with their entire class for spots. It is kind of like going to a good suburban public school. They get plenty of kids into top schools but if you look at the whole school the "average" outcome isn't going to look great.

Yea. Matriculation for college may be maximized. But you’re spending a pretty penny for a 3T school many New Yorkers look down upon (Dwight is not 2T) and that may have a number of idiots in each class. In an extreme example, would you enroll your child in a special needs high school if it meant they’d get into Harvard?

So is the NYC mentality that kids get more respect if they go to Chapin and then on to Lehigh or SMU, versus Dwight or Avenues and then on to Princeton?

Dwight is a face tattoo that even Princeton can’t wash off. Being a rich Latin American admit to Princeton is its own level of sleazy and unqualified. So yea Chapin or Trinity to SMU is more respectable.

What does that even mean? No one cares where you went to high school. Most college graduates will not list their high school on their resume or LinkedIn. Someone who went to Dwight and then a good college will do just fine.

People who go to Exeter and HM and Trinity 10000% put it on their LinkedIn and on their resume for the first couple jobs out of college. People do care about this stuff, you and your ilk do not.

Op - I don’t think anyone cares what high school you went to in the world of work. I oversee a team of 100ish and am in constant hiring mode and I have never noticed or even thought to look or care about anyone’s high school. But it is a key part of what college you go to so it matters for that reason

I've found first and second jobs are basically handed to some kids who can connect with the HS plus college people ie, Trinity plus Princeton now at JPM. Connect w that person via linkedin or friends, you get to skip several layers of interviews.

Similar to college frats or college sports.

But this is all pretty thin air. (Is that the right phrase?)

Sure, if you went to a HS with a great network you can use it but it generally doesn’t matter. Many of the SHS and the Jesuit schools also have amazing alum networks. I’m also a little skeptical of how much the alum network helps the unconnected, non-rich kids at the private TTs.

me again and I agree. Regis has one of the best networks, I think. Especially since those kids are largely unconnected. As far as I know - that may not be true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - my first preference over a basis or a Trevor would be a bronxville/ Scarsdale/ rye etc. Def open to some of the publics mentioned here also. Basis is a joke, I feel, and also I could have sent him there years ago and saved money if I thought it was up to anything

The standout thing to me is their list is incoherent. Trevor/ LREI, Dwight and basis have only in common that they are relatively easy to get into. The same student who thrives at lrei is not the same student who thrives at basis. I feel like we are just saying it needs to be an easy get for him bc he’s an undesirable student, rather than they had a thoughtful assessment of his profile that we’ve all been discussing for some time. As for the ISEE yes he has taken practice ISEEs and had quite varying results with the first one in high 8s and then when he took it again more variation.

I guess my expectation was that they’d suggest a couple ‘stretches’ eg a fieldston, a packer etc.. maybe a Buckley. And then some mid range - I wouldn’t have been surprised to see LREI in there. But it feels like we are just aiming for the lowest rung without us being prepped for that outcome along the way

Do people apply to Buckley for 9th?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - my first preference over a basis or a Trevor would be a bronxville/ Scarsdale/ rye etc. Def open to some of the publics mentioned here also. Basis is a joke, I feel, and also I could have sent him there years ago and saved money if I thought it was up to anything

The standout thing to me is their list is incoherent. Trevor/ LREI, Dwight and basis have only in common that they are relatively easy to get into. The same student who thrives at lrei is not the same student who thrives at basis. I feel like we are just saying it needs to be an easy get for him bc he’s an undesirable student, rather than they had a thoughtful assessment of his profile that we’ve all been discussing for some time. As for the ISEE yes he has taken practice ISEEs and had quite varying results with the first one in high 8s and then when he took it again more variation.

I guess my expectation was that they’d suggest a couple ‘stretches’ eg a fieldston, a packer etc.. maybe a Buckley. And then some mid range - I wouldn’t have been surprised to see LREI in there. But it feels like we are just aiming for the lowest rung without us being prepped for that outcome along the way

Buckley is a K-8 and Packer has gotten very competitive.

I’m not sure moving to the burbs is your solution. Have you thought about the lifestyle adjustment and the social impact to your kids. The teen years are hard. I wouldn’t make it worse by forcing an unnecessary move where the kids will likely have less freedom and social outlets. Also, some of those Westchester schools can be real pressure cookers and difficult to navigate socially. I would not make the move just for the schools. Have you asked your kid about the type of school they would like to attend?

[Anonymous]

Why is basis a joke? It’s a bit Soviet for my tastes, but very high rigor if that’s what you are looking for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you have to begin with the end in mind. You sound like you would not be happy to spend another 300k and be sitting in a colleges counseling office hearing suggestions like Lehigh or Holy Cross. (perfectly good schools!)

I have two kids at HYP right now. So I get it. I acknowledge I wanted my kids to go to the kind of college that wasn't on the table for me.

We could sorta kinda afford private K-8, which sounded like a financial slog so we did pubic k-5 and public middle and then private HS. (Also had SHS spots, which would have also been fine).

Think about what kind of college you'd be happy with. You might say, maybe something cool like Pitzer or Wes. If so, go to public. BC? Go to Loyola. You will have better luck getting into Cornell from a strong public. At Middlebury, getting a great GPA and applying ED would be the more important than public or private. Or learn to play Rugby at Xavier and go to Cal or Michigan and maybe Brown. Want to go to UVA, buy a nice house in Rye and get him a tutor to keep his grades up.

A top HS in NY can totally help you, but all privates can hurt you too. Top or not. They're all full of "institutional priorities": legacies, donors, and very strong FGLI kids who came in via Prep for Prep etc and can thrive in PWI - colleges love them. All these legacy/donor kids get leadership positions - not because of nepotism (disagree with the podcast), but because they were born with the confidence and swagger my kids didn't have at 14.

Different poster - thanks for sharing. I am interested in going a similar route with my kids - public for younger years and apply to private for HS. How was the transition from public to private for your kids? Pros/cons of this path? TYSM

They were both behind in math - which I think was more about Covid than curriculum. Publics were remote when privates went hybrid. For quite a while. Studying for the SHSAT helped fill in some blanks. But they got great grades in HS. I think it helped that they had done so little homework in middle school. they were the opposite of burned out.

Also, socially, I felt public middle school was a little behind private. In a good way. Again, this was during Covid so it didn't really impact my kids and their private peers, but I saw it in other grades.

This board always talks about how the HYP kids from private are all legacies donors institutional priorities. Was it easy for your kids to find a niche and stand out at your private to gain acceptance? I assume they got in unconnected?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:op - school got back to me and suggested Trevor day, lrei, Dwight, basis

You guys - I have worked so hard for so long to afford this school. I never go out - I just work. I trusted them that if they saw him tracking academically in a way where he needed help they would tell me. I asked them flat out so many times- so many times they could have said - you know - he could use a tutor. I’m so angry but also just feel like such an idiot and like I got duped by these people. We are signed up for next year for my 10 and 12 yo and all I want to do is take them both out. It feels like such a freaking racket. Not bc I am expecting him to be someone he’s not. But I shouldn’t be finding out the reality of what they think he can achieve when it’s almost too late to do anything to help him. Like - if a kid is never getting into T1 or T2 then say - hey this kid really needs some extra help and say it early! Jfc

Tell them you are all in on Trevor. It is a very good school and has been really upping its game. And from a few data points I know, they seem to like kids who really want to be there. It is a good school with good outcomes. If your kid is as smart as you think, they will finish at the top of the class at Trevor. The top kids at Trevor do as well as the top kid at any school in NY - plenty of Ivies and the like. It is further down the list where things are worse - the 75% kid at Trevor is significantly worse than the 75% kid at a TT.

Same applies for some of the others but I think Trevor is the best of the batch. I know several families who are very happy there, including a few who turned down better "names" to go there.

BTW, same largely applies to Grace, Packer and a few others like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you have to begin with the end in mind. You sound like you would not be happy to spend another 300k and be sitting in a colleges counseling office hearing suggestions like Lehigh or Holy Cross. (perfectly good schools!)

I have two kids at HYP right now. So I get it. I acknowledge I wanted my kids to go to the kind of college that wasn't on the table for me.

We could sorta kinda afford private K-8, which sounded like a financial slog so we did pubic k-5 and public middle and then private HS. (Also had SHS spots, which would have also been fine).

Think about what kind of college you'd be happy with. You might say, maybe something cool like Pitzer or Wes. If so, go to public. BC? Go to Loyola. You will have better luck getting into Cornell from a strong public. At Middlebury, getting a great GPA and applying ED would be the more important than public or private. Or learn to play Rugby at Xavier and go to Cal or Michigan and maybe Brown. Want to go to UVA, buy a nice house in Rye and get him a tutor to keep his grades up.

A top HS in NY can totally help you, but all privates can hurt you too. Top or not. They're all full of "institutional priorities": legacies, donors, and very strong FGLI kids who came in via Prep for Prep etc and can thrive in PWI - colleges love them. All these legacy/donor kids get leadership positions - not because of nepotism (disagree with the podcast), but because they were born with the confidence and swagger my kids didn't have at 14.

Different poster - thanks for sharing. I am interested in going a similar route with my kids - public for younger years and apply to private for HS. How was the transition from public to private for your kids? Pros/cons of this path? TYSM

They were both behind in math - which I think was more about Covid than curriculum. Publics were remote when privates went hybrid. For quite a while. Studying for the SHSAT helped fill in some blanks. But they got great grades in HS. I think it helped that they had done so little homework in middle school. they were the opposite of burned out.

Also, socially, I felt public middle school was a little behind private. In a good way. Again, this was during Covid so it didn't really impact my kids and their private peers, but I saw it in other grades.

This board always talks about how the HYP kids from private are all legacies donors institutional priorities. Was it easy for your kids to find a niche and stand out at your private to gain acceptance? I assume they got in unconnected?

Much harder for unhooked kids. But they are better off with regard to MIT or Stanford.

[Anonymous]

Trevor is a great school. If your child can’t get into an Ivy from there the reality is they probably wouldn’t have from a TT either. And far better you had this wake up call now than if you were at a K-12 and this happened when applying to colleges rather than high schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - my first preference over a basis or a Trevor would be a bronxville/ Scarsdale/ rye etc. Def open to some of the publics mentioned here also. Basis is a joke, I feel, and also I could have sent him there years ago and saved money if I thought it was up to anything

The standout thing to me is their list is incoherent. Trevor/ LREI, Dwight and basis have only in common that they are relatively easy to get into. The same student who thrives at lrei is not the same student who thrives at basis. I feel like we are just saying it needs to be an easy get for him bc he’s an undesirable student, rather than they had a thoughtful assessment of his profile that we’ve all been discussing for some time. As for the ISEE yes he has taken practice ISEEs and had quite varying results with the first one in high 8s and then when he took it again more variation.

I guess my expectation was that they’d suggest a couple ‘stretches’ eg a fieldston, a packer etc.. maybe a Buckley. And then some mid range - I wouldn’t have been surprised to see LREI in there. But it feels like we are just aiming for the lowest rung without us being prepped for that outcome along the way

Buckley is a K-8 and Packer has gotten very competitive.

I’m not sure moving to the burbs is your solution. Have you thought about the lifestyle adjustment and the social impact to your kids. The teen years are hard. I wouldn’t make it worse by forcing an unnecessary move where the kids will likely have less freedom and social outlets. Also, some of those Westchester schools can be real pressure cookers and difficult to navigate socially. I would not make the move just for the schools. Have you asked your kid about the type of school they would like to attend?

Totally agree. I grew up in a fairly popular NYC suburb and still have lots of friends in suburbia, including some who moved out of the city. These kids were all in the sandbox together, played youth sports together, parents went to elementary school plays together. It is a very different lifestyle. The few kids I know who succeeded in moving out of the city later in their academic career were those with a hook - usually great athletes so they could make friends through sports. To just show up for HS when you know no one and don't have an easy path to making friends would be incredible hard. Plus just the different lifestyle of needing parents to take you everywhere for a few years until you can drive, etc. And it is a huge change for the parents having to commute - if both parents work in Manhattan and have to generally be in the office, commuting stinks and you will not be around to take your kid places after school.

And as others have noted, the best schools are not easy and are not low key. If moving to the burbs, unless you have a true academic superstar, I would not be aiming for Bronxville, Scarsdale, Millburn, etc. I would go to a school that is really good but slightly more low key. But then again, as noted above, I wouldn't do it to begin with unless there are other reasons for the move.

[Anonymous]

My kid did public K-8 then private and I know several others who made the switch. Top tier public elementary, very good but not elite public middle school. Very smart, driven school - we had a very good SHSAT option but turned it down, and know others who did the same.

My kid breezed through middle school and we weren't sure how prepared they would be for private HS. There was a brief adjustment but they are doing great. We were very strategic in choosing a school and didn't obsess over brand name - it isn't the top of the top, though nor is it an undesirable one. Think about how many new kids there are entering for HS. And my child, who is social but not super outgoing, was able to quickly make friends through activities.

Paying for HS is manageable for us. Given where our finances were when our child was in elementary, we could have made private work but it would have been a stretch. We had decent sized bumps in salaries around middle school so that also made the decision easier.

Also, our child was somewhat socially immature in K so likely would not have gotten good private options at that point - they matured a lot through public elementary and middle so presented much better for HS. Very glad we saved our money, but also glad we chose private for HS, even though many people question why we turned down SHSAT for private. None of their business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Trevor is a great school. If your child can’t get into an Ivy from there the reality is they probably wouldn’t have from a TT either. And far better you had this wake up call now than if you were at a K-12 and this happened when applying to colleges rather than high schools.

Totally agree. Trevor is a very good school. The TT or Bust crowd is living in the past.

Also, focus on the plan going forward. Don't regret past decisions. In hindsight, public might have been better. But what is done is done. Learn from it and move on.

Final point - do you have other kids or is this an only. If there are other kids, that impacts some choices. Sounds like this is an only but not sure.