Do students at universities form social groups based on family income levels?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, 100%
My son is at any Ivy and reports that all NYC private school kids and boarding school kids stick together. Several of them have parents who bought houses near the Ivy
that sit mostly empty (freshman year) but that the kids use to party. Also they get local country club memberships for their 4 years and the kids all play golf together.
My kid attended a top private and has been invited to party and golf, etc but told me "They're fine but I don't want my entire social experience to revolve around them" --because apparently it's a pretty all-consuming group.

this is pretty common at most schools in T20.

In general, society is already divided. Just look at the neighborhood and zoning

+1 this is just how America works.

This is how it works everywhere.

True, the rich separate them selves everywhere. Vacation spots, hobbies, neighborhoods, clothing brands. It’s everywhere when you pay attention.

And? Go get yourself the best education you can get and make a living and a life for yourself. Some people are going to go off to their ski houses or some tropical island over winter break and so what?

The key issue is connection—this is what really matters for ambitious middle-class students. If those expensive, prestigious private schools can't provide meaningful connections, the return on investment is too low, especially for middle-class families who are likely paying close to full tuition.

This mentality is so sad. So many ambitious middle-class students succeed without anything having to do with connections. This “connections or bust” view is so myopic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are there many other parents who can afford to pay for fancy college break trips but don't? We're planning to pay for all of DD's college-related expenses and she generally wants for nothing, but we've told her that she'll be expected to pay for any college trips with friends from money she earns herself even though we could afford to foot the bill. We're ready to be the lone mean parents, but it sure would be nice if there were one or two other kids in the same boat.

My son has more spending money right now than me lol. Summer jobs add up so he does pay for his trips, golf, etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another thing is that many wealthy kids don't eat in the dining halls. they pay for the freshman meal plan but then eat almost every meal out (or get takeout, door dash, etc). Both of my kids report this (Ivy and another top 20).

+1
My kid at an ivy says the same. Also the wealthier kids now go out to nice restaurants for dinner and drinks. In my college days (also an ivy), friends of all socio-economic levels went out for pizza and pitchers of beer - which was affordable by all. Things have changed...

It’s really a shame. I didn’t go to an Ivy, but I went to school with the kids of very wealthy families and they just blended in with everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, do have friends and hang out regularly with people of different income levels? I do not, and I am sure most people do not. Why would you think college is any different?

Not OP, but I do. And my teens do. Weird that you assume most people don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another thing is that many wealthy kids don't eat in the dining halls. they pay for the freshman meal plan but then eat almost every meal out (or get takeout, door dash, etc). Both of my kids report this (Ivy and another top 20).

+1
My kid at an ivy says the same. Also the wealthier kids now go out to nice restaurants for dinner and drinks. In my college days (also an ivy), friends of all socio-economic levels went out for pizza and pitchers of beer - which was affordable by all. Things have changed...

It’s really a shame. I didn’t go to an Ivy, but I went to school with the kids of very wealthy families and they just blended in with everyone else.

I suspect plenty of wealthy kids of down to earth parents still do this. I’m not sure if we qualify as wealthy on this board but my kid is not going to college on an unlimited expense account. DH and I were both raised MC and despite now having high income and assets, we still have MC values. Kids are in public schools and are not looking at any private colleges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another thing is that many wealthy kids don't eat in the dining halls. they pay for the freshman meal plan but then eat almost every meal out (or get takeout, door dash, etc). Both of my kids report this (Ivy and another top 20).

+1
My kid at an ivy says the same. Also the wealthier kids now go out to nice restaurants for dinner and drinks. In my college days (also an ivy), friends of all socio-economic levels went out for pizza and pitchers of beer - which was affordable by all. Things have changed...

It’s really a shame. I didn’t go to an Ivy, but I went to school with the kids of very wealthy families and they just blended in with everyone else.

Of course many do. But many also do not. I don't think it's really that different than anywhere else.

[Anonymous]

As one of the poor kids at a wealthier college: sort of. It's not that I didn't socialize with wealthy kids, but those of us who came from poorer families did know each other from the common job/money making rounds. We gave tours, did event staff work, business studies, etc.

There were also crowds I definitely couldn't afford to hang out with. My freshman year roommate would go out on Friday nights and drop a ton of money on things. So we didn't socialize much because I couldn't afford her lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

If a kid works during college, that is a sign.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are there many other parents who can afford to pay for fancy college break trips but don't? We're planning to pay for all of DD's college-related expenses and she generally wants for nothing, but we've told her that she'll be expected to pay for any college trips with friends from money she earns herself even though we could afford to foot the bill. We're ready to be the lone mean parents, but it sure would be nice if there were one or two other kids in the same boat.

Of course there are others in the same boat! There are more of you and me than there are richer families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do have friends and hang out regularly with people of different income levels? I do not, and I am sure most people do not. Why would you think college is any different?

Not OP, but I do. And my teens do. Weird that you assume most people don’t.

+1

The wealthy really are in their own bubble.

I know that wasn't a lower income person who wrote that.

But let's not criticize. I hear they are sensitive.

[Anonymous]

They can be friendly but I wouldn't expect financial aid or ROTC kids to be able to hang with the rich kids in college. The rich kids are not going to pay for their poor roommates to go to Paris with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do have friends and hang out regularly with people of different income levels? I do not, and I am sure most people do not. Why would you think college is any different?

Not OP, but I do. And my teens do. Weird that you assume most people don’t.

+1

The wealthy really are in their own bubble.

I know that wasn't a lower income person who wrote that.

But let's not criticize. I hear they are sensitive.

I’m the PP and we’re technically wealthy on paper, but our kids go to public schools and have friends from families of different income levels. They are very cognizant of planning stuff to do that will be affordable for everyone in their group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They can be friendly but I wouldn't expect financial aid or ROTC kids to be able to hang with the rich kids in college. The rich kids are not going to pay for their poor roommates to go to Paris with them.

There are plenty of wealthy kids who do ROTC. My DC is a cadet at a top20 and half the cohort is wealthy and went to private school or boarding school. There are $$$ families for which becoming an officer for a few years is cultural.

[Anonymous]

I think it can depend on part, where the college is located. I went to school in a rural area so there wasn’t much to spend money on which evened things out. Sure, you knew when a kid came from a wealthy area and drove a nice car, but there weren’t many ways to flaunt it.

On the other hand, I hear stories of kids at U Miami who rent yachts for the weekend and get bottle service as Miami clubs. I would imagine there’s not much socio-economic mixing there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For example, do wealthy students often stick together — they tend to hang out on luxury private islands and build their own exclusive networks?

WTH? No. You're the only one wrapped up in this, not your kid