Do students at universities form social groups based on family income levels?

[Anonymous]

Are there many other parents who can afford to pay for fancy college break trips but don't? We're planning to pay for all of DD's college-related expenses and she generally wants for nothing, but we've told her that she'll be expected to pay for any college trips with friends from money she earns herself even though we could afford to foot the bill. We're ready to be the lone mean parents, but it sure would be nice if there were one or two other kids in the same boat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another thing is that many wealthy kids don't eat in the dining halls. they pay for the freshman meal plan but then eat almost every meal out (or get takeout, door dash, etc). Both of my kids report this (Ivy and another top 20).

+1
My kid at an ivy says the same. Also the wealthier kids now go out to nice restaurants for dinner and drinks. In my college days (also an ivy), friends of all socio-economic levels went out for pizza and pitchers of beer - which was affordable by all. Things have changed...

Yes. Sushi dinners and/or steakhouses.

Definitely--as an Ivy league kid on financial aid, I always ate my prepaid college dining hall meals, because eating out was so expensive. Also, I had an on-campus work study job and many of my friends did too--we would hang out after our work hours. There were groups of kids who had fancy invitation only societies/parties at off-campus social club type places. The kids who I knew who were were very wealthy--some had gone to elite boarding schools, and others were just from extremely rich families.

Same thing for vacations--I would hear stories of how some classmates met up in other countries over breaks--whereas with poorer kids, we would be working jobs to help pay our tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are there many other parents who can afford to pay for fancy college break trips but don't? We're planning to pay for all of DD's college-related expenses and she generally wants for nothing, but we've told her that she'll be expected to pay for any college trips with friends from money she earns herself even though we could afford to foot the bill. We're ready to be the lone mean parents, but it sure would be nice if there were one or two other kids in the same boat.

We feel the same. Most of my kid's friends travelled together to europe after hs graduation. This seems to be a big thing these days among both private and public school kids. I think its ridiculous and told my kid i wasn't paying for that. Instead, we took a family vacation. The social pressure is real...but my kid understood our perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are there many other parents who can afford to pay for fancy college break trips but don't? We're planning to pay for all of DD's college-related expenses and she generally wants for nothing, but we've told her that she'll be expected to pay for any college trips with friends from money she earns herself even though we could afford to foot the bill. We're ready to be the lone mean parents, but it sure would be nice if there were one or two other kids in the same boat.

We can afford most anything but we deliberately try not to spoil our college aged kid. He works on campus and saves money for travel, uses public transportation, pays for himself when he eats off campus, etc. We want him learning about budgeting, setting goals around earning money, investing/saving, developing a work ethic, etc. Someday we will likely either give him the down payment or buy him a house, but he doesn’t know that.

[Anonymous]

Just came back to this post to add that my freshmam daughter told me this evening that the sororities and fraternities at her school plan spring break trips to the DR, etc. I wasn't expecting that... I already knew that greek dues would add to the expense but had not anticipated international travel trips. Told her she better start earning and saving... This is what creates social barriers...

[Anonymous]

yes this happens. college doesn't remove any social barriers, it just exacerbates them.

look at the demographics of the college you're applying to carefully.

read unigo/reddit.

talk to actual students 1:1 before binding yourself ED somewhere.

[Anonymous]

OP, do have friends and hang out regularly with people of different income levels? I do not, and I am sure most people do not. Why would you think college is any different?

[Anonymous]

Yes, it happens.

At large state flagships, most students in Greek life are upper middle class or wealthy. There are also typically programs to help first generation low-income students connect with each other.

At Ivy and NESCAC schools, students seem to fall into one of three groups: athletes, full-pay students, academically gifted first generation or URM students.

Sure, there are exceptions. However, financial differences are noticeable when it comes to finding upperclassmen apartments, planning spring break trips, or even just going out on the weekends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it happens.

At large state flagships, most students in Greek life are upper middle class or wealthy. There are also typically programs to help first generation low-income students connect with each other.

At Ivy and NESCAC schools, students seem to fall into one of three groups: athletes, full-pay students, academically gifted first generation or URM students.

Sure, there are exceptions. However, financial differences are noticeable when it comes to finding upperclassmen apartments, planning spring break trips, or even just going out on the weekends.

Just to add, first gen and URM students aren’t the only gifted students. Many, many full pay kids are also gifted. Legacy and athletes are gifted too. But surely you know this.

[Anonymous]

birds of a feather flock together

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It happens….some can afford concerts, spring break trips, nicer apartments and fancy dinners out. I don’t think it completely precludes larger and more diverse friend groups, but tighter cliques do form as a result of income levels.

This. My DD ran into issues when her “friends” wanted to go to rent expensive apartments that were out of our budget and go to Cabo for Spring Break (also out of our budget). None of her friends had part-time jobs, either.

[Anonymous]

Typ 1-5 % families , in net worth , number ~ 5 mil max ( total US households ~160 mil).. now the family could be worth say 5 mil (~95 percentile wealth)but with 3 kids vs a family w/ net worth of 2 mil (92 percentile)but just 1 kid are really not far apart on a per capita basis and their affordability landscape would be similar…
T20 admit about 30000 kids excluding ~20% internationals..~ 10-15% (up to 5000) would belong to 95+percentile and may be just~10% in the 99+ percentile category)
This is roughly ~ max 200 kids . so families in say 85+ up to 94 percentile category will have lots of kids to choose from even assuming that 95+ percentile kids willingly or otherwise avoid them//
Lower than 85 percentile (in net worth), would get aid , if admitted,in any case but that number is a minority (~max 25 %)

[Anonymous]

~max 200 kids per school in T20

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ime yes. I was a Mc kid at a wealthy school. I drove home 12 hours for spring break. Some of the people I know chartered a private plans to fly to a tropical island. That sort of thing. It wasn’t always easy.

That was my experience in a private all girls HS. I went to a state university and it was more balanced in my circles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Studies have shown that attending an elite college helps low income students move up in the world.

As for actual social groups, it really depends on the college. Colleges that charge different rates for dorms, that permit residential Greek life, and that charge students to attend activities like concerts, indirectly encourage economic stratification.

If you really are interested in attending a college that discourages economic stratification, I would look to Quaker colleges, colleges that have lottery systems by year for housing, and that have "cashless" campuses where events are free for students.

+1

Also helps if there aren't a ton of convenient, off-campus places to spend money on a daily basis. (Especially expensive restaurants.)

I do think this is one of the reasons why Vanderbilt is so bifurcated. The kids go out for really expensive meals and go out on Broadway a couple of times a week.

Combine that with the dry bar blowouts, the barre workout classes and the Whole Foods runs and it’s as expensive as a stay at home mom‘s life.

Wow! So different than my $5/pitcher of beer college experience!