Why are so many parents fumbling raising boys?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men working 50-70 hour weeks and traveling for work to “provide” and scaling the ladder has left us with a generation of boys with no fathering even if a father is “in the house”.

You don't need a father to raise a good person. My brother and my son were all raised by single mothers. They've all turned out to be good people with FT jobs. Their mothers prioritized a good education and home responsibilities. My DS is 20 and is off this weekend. He got up early with the dog so I could sleep in. He emptied the dishwasher and is now going through his closet so I can take some clothes to Goodwill. He made dinner last night and cleaned two bathrooms. He reads to my mother because her eyesight is awful. You get the idea. He's a good person because I raised him to be one.

Bill Clinton was raised by a single mom.

Bill Clinton, the rapist?!

[Anonymous]

Back in the 70’s and 80’s parents were very strict with their boys. They disciplined them and expected them to abide by their rules. These days parents have become quite complacent when it comes to disciplining their boys. Girls are generally easier to parent because by nature they have more empathy and are more willing to listen to their parents. Boys usually need a firmer approach but the parents aren’t willing to put in the work because it is hard word. Lots of factors contributing to it such as working parents are stretched thin and don’t have time to discipline, excessive use of screens and video games, lack of community and play dates etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure, suddenly all parents are bad at raising boys. /s

The actual reason is that stereotypical boy traits are being less valued in schools and workplaces, while girls have more opportunities than ever, so boys suddenly feel a disadvantage. Add in social media and “manosphere” stuff and that’s it.

This. They’re told by all their authority figures that they’re the ones who caused the harm to all those who have been victimized throughout society. Then they have to reconcile guilt that they never should’ve had with their own masculinity and instincts. This isn’t wholly a parent problem although I’ll be the first to say that parents who pile on to this nonsense don’t help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, suddenly all parents are bad at raising boys. /s

The actual reason is that stereotypical boy traits are being less valued in schools and workplaces, while girls have more opportunities than ever, so boys suddenly feel a disadvantage. Add in social media and “manosphere” stuff and that’s it.

This. They’re told by all their authority figures that they’re the ones who caused the harm to all those who have been victimized throughout society. Then they have to reconcile guilt that they never should’ve had with their own masculinity and instincts. This isn’t wholly a parent problem although I’ll be the first to say that parents who pile on to this nonsense don’t help.

Pray tell what are these stereotypical boy traits that are no longer valued,,?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, suddenly all parents are bad at raising boys. /s

The actual reason is that stereotypical boy traits are being less valued in schools and workplaces, while girls have more opportunities than ever, so boys suddenly feel a disadvantage. Add in social media and “manosphere” stuff and that’s it.

This. They’re told by all their authority figures that they’re the ones who caused the harm to all those who have been victimized throughout society. Then they have to reconcile guilt that they never should’ve had with their own masculinity and instincts. This isn’t wholly a parent problem although I’ll be the first to say that parents who pile on to this nonsense don’t help.

Pray tell what are these stereotypical boy traits that are no longer valued,,?

Tell me you don’t have school age children without telling me.

Are you kidding?

Basically all male centric traits are swept aside now under the new banner of “kindness.”

[Anonymous]

My boy is great.

[Anonymous]

Why are so many parents fumbling raising **white** boys, I believe is the question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, suddenly all parents are bad at raising boys. /s

The actual reason is that stereotypical boy traits are being less valued in schools and workplaces, while girls have more opportunities than ever, so boys suddenly feel a disadvantage. Add in social media and “manosphere” stuff and that’s it.

This. They’re told by all their authority figures that they’re the ones who caused the harm to all those who have been victimized throughout society. Then they have to reconcile guilt that they never should’ve had with their own masculinity and instincts. This isn’t wholly a parent problem although I’ll be the first to say that parents who pile on to this nonsense don’t help.

What ‘masculinity’ are you referring to? Inability to sit still, not listening to parents and teachers, bullying smaller kids, spending too much time on video games? What actually is masculinity to you? You are probably the type of parents who shrugs off when a child is being physically violent and disruptive and says “boys will be boys.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, suddenly all parents are bad at raising boys. /s

The actual reason is that stereotypical boy traits are being less valued in schools and workplaces, while girls have more opportunities than ever, so boys suddenly feel a disadvantage. Add in social media and “manosphere” stuff and that’s it.

This. They’re told by all their authority figures that they’re the ones who caused the harm to all those who have been victimized throughout society. Then they have to reconcile guilt that they never should’ve had with their own masculinity and instincts. This isn’t wholly a parent problem although I’ll be the first to say that parents who pile on to this nonsense don’t help.

What ‘masculinity’ are you referring to? Inability to sit still, not listening to parents and teachers, bullying smaller kids, spending too much time on video games? What actually is masculinity to you? You are probably the type of parents who shrugs off when a child is being physically violent and disruptive and says “boys will be boys.”

I hope you don’t have any sons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, suddenly all parents are bad at raising boys. /s

The actual reason is that stereotypical boy traits are being less valued in schools and workplaces, while girls have more opportunities than ever, so boys suddenly feel a disadvantage. Add in social media and “manosphere” stuff and that’s it.

This. They’re told by all their authority figures that they’re the ones who caused the harm to all those who have been victimized throughout society. Then they have to reconcile guilt that they never should’ve had with their own masculinity and instincts. This isn’t wholly a parent problem although I’ll be the first to say that parents who pile on to this nonsense don’t help.

What ‘masculinity’ are you referring to? Inability to sit still, not listening to parents and teachers, bullying smaller kids, spending too much time on video games? What actually is masculinity to you? You are probably the type of parents who shrugs off when a child is being physically violent and disruptive and says “boys will be boys.”

I hope you don’t have any sons.

DP. Or daughters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, suddenly all parents are bad at raising boys. /s

The actual reason is that stereotypical boy traits are being less valued in schools and workplaces, while girls have more opportunities than ever, so boys suddenly feel a disadvantage. Add in social media and “manosphere” stuff and that’s it.

This. They’re told by all their authority figures that they’re the ones who caused the harm to all those who have been victimized throughout society. Then they have to reconcile guilt that they never should’ve had with their own masculinity and instincts. This isn’t wholly a parent problem although I’ll be the first to say that parents who pile on to this nonsense don’t help.

What ‘masculinity’ are you referring to? Inability to sit still, not listening to parents and teachers, bullying smaller kids, spending too much time on video games? What actually is masculinity to you? You are probably the type of parents who shrugs off when a child is being physically violent and disruptive and says “boys will be boys.”

I hope you don’t have any sons.

DP. Or daughters.

PP. Good point!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are so many parents fumbling raising **white** boys, I believe is the question.

Oh yes, because we know how great black boys are doing in America…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The boys are not ok on a societal level and I think it’s too widespread to blame them. It has to be a parental issue.

What are areas of improvement you could’ve done in your own parenting of boys upon reflection?

Two words: GENTLE PARENTING
So many parents take this to mean permissive parenting and don’t set boundaries and refuse to say no to their boys and refuse to punish them/set consequences for bad behavior so they think they can get away with anything and in most cases, they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure, suddenly all parents are bad at raising boys. /s

The actual reason is that stereotypical boy traits are being less valued in schools and workplaces, while girls have more opportunities than ever, so boys suddenly feel a disadvantage. Add in social media and “manosphere” stuff and that’s it.

Nope. Society hasn’t really changed that much. You’re just making excuses. You need to teach your sons to be resilient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have one girl and one boy (teens) and they’re both awesome.

What’s so bad with boys now? My guess would be video game addiction is a big problem, but also we have taken away a lot of opportunities for them to problem solve. There’s not as much free range sand lot games where the entire neighborhood showed up and they handled conflicts and scraped knees. Now it’s travel baseball teams and a ton of parent oversight. Less risk-taking. Fewer opportunities to fail because we are all so scared to let them make their own mistakes because college is so much harder to get into these days.

Fathers of middle schoolers played a lot of video games growing up so that’s no excuse and video games are not the cause of anything.

Travel teams instead of the local kids playing games on their own or at least sticking with their home town is the result of pushy parents. They thought they could pay to make their kid a D1 sports star but reality is very few end up there.